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"Under cover" Counselling?


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Does anyone have any recommendations for counselling that will not 'leave a trail?'

 

My boyfriend's excuse for not getting help has been that he will have a 'record' of the need for psychological help, and it will show up for his career. And it's true, and its been his excuse for quite some time.

 

We've hit issues again, and the last person I spoke to said he really needed counselling, but is there a type of counselling that doesn't leave a paper trail?

 

Here in Canada we can get it for free, but it must be done through a family physician giving a referal, and it leaves a trail.

 

Any suggestions?

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There are so many trained councellors and life couches out there that do not record a note of information about you. Often they work from home and you have to pay for their time.

 

Often the government funded agencies that provide this kind of service need to have a paper trail to ensure funding, so private is the best source. But in Australia, where I am, it's usually $60 an hour.

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Oh there definetly is confidentiality, I just don't know to what extent.

 

I'm not sure if they get full access to all his medical and personal files, but they do have access to them.

 

But if put under polygraph, he would have to come clean.

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There are so many trained councellors and life couches out there that do not record a note of information about you. Often they work from home and you have to pay for their time.

 

Often the government funded agencies that provide this kind of service need to have a paper trail to ensure funding, so private is the best source. But in Australia, where I am, it's usually $60 an hour.

 

 

I know he won't fork over the cash for it. Or atleast can guarantee he'd shoot it down if he's paying for it.

 

I'd be interested in checking out a life coach though, that seems a little more..less 'medical'

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Would he get fired or not hired because he went to therapy? Would his line of work be against him going to lets say...marriage counseling? That doesn't seem right at all, just because he goes to a therapist doesn't make him a looney bin or incapable of doing his job.

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Well I don't know the legal situation in Canada, but certainly in the UK (and I imagine it's similar in Canada), an employer has no right to see, or indeed request, a potential or current employee's medical records, so the paper trail is not accessible, and can have no effect on your career.

 

If you're really worried, though, then as Keyman says, go to a private counsellor, cash in hand, and no one will ever know unless you tell them or they (or someone else who knows you both) happen to see you entering or leaving the building (which may be their home, or may be somewhere else), and know what the purpose of the building is.

 

I should finally add that no reputable employer will care whether or not you're visiting a counsellor, and certainly won't see it as a negative thing.

 

Altogether, I think this is a pretty flimsy reason for not going to counselling.

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Would he get fired or not hired because he went to therapy? Would his line of work be against him going to lets say...marriage counseling? That doesn't seem right at all, just because he goes to a therapist doesn't make him a looney bin or incapable of doing his job.

 

I'm not sure, being stable psychologically is an important quality of a person in law enforcement.

 

Marriage counselling I think is irrelevant to his job.

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My cousin is a state trooper, they do a lot of "tests" mental and phyiscal during the hiring/training process as you probably know already. But once he was in, he was able to go to a therapist, he & his wife had some issues...that's why I asked about the marriage counseling and they never said anything to him. In fact they encourage officers that been through a tragic event (during the job) to seek counseling.

 

Getting help before hand though because he has issues will be tough. He does need to go to a private counselor. You said he doesn't want to dish you the money but he wont get the job if he doesn't seek help.

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I think marriage counselling is irrelevant though...thats a relationship issue moreso, as opposed to dealing with personal issues regarding depression, self esteem, failure, left over issues from childhood, present issues with family, etc.

 

Its just all accumulated and he cannot move forward, no matter how hard he tries.

 

I think something like a life coach would be seen as less negative. But then again he'd have to probably pay out of pocket.

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ive had a few co workers not go to counseling for this reason. its not that they will necesarily find it, but its a catch 22. if you lie and they find it- youre out for lying. if you tell them straight up they may use it againts you as a reason why you are not fit for duty.

 

but i think if someone really needs counseling, they should attend and explain to the government/law enforcement agency when and if he gets a background or interview.

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What if I got counselling?

I've been debating doing it because it's taken a toll on myself and I have felt the need to talk to someone about my status in the relationship and the feelings during this.

I really don't give a crap if anyone knows I'm doing it, but I recall when I was younger I did some sessions and there was a few where they invited certain family members to join and work through some things, but I was the primary patient.

 

Do you think anyone would be open to taking me as their primary and then accepting him in for a few of my sessions? Would that be an option?

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