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Why would someone have trouble telling another they love them?


willoweed861
149+ Sweet Love Words for Him
149+ Sweet Love Words for Him

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How long have you two been dating?

 

Not that long, only 4 months.

 

I tend to fall quickly for certain guys I feel a special bond with though. I told my only long-term bf (5+ years) I loved him after only 6 months.

 

On the other hand I've dated others for 3+ months and couldn't even figure out if I liked them...so I ended up dumping them. Mental connection is a weird thing. I don't really think time should be the primary factor in determining feelings, as I have dated others for a similarly long period of time and couldn't care less if they died.

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Not that long, only 4 months.

 

I tend to fall quickly for certain guys I feel a special bond with though. I told my only long-term bf (5+ years) I loved him after only 6 months.

 

On the other hand I've dated others for 3+ months and couldn't even figure out if I liked them...so I ended up dumping them. Mental connection is a weird thing. I don't really think time should be the primary factor in determining feelings, as I have dated others for a similarly long period of time and couldn't care less if they died.

 

i like how my comments are the negative of what you want to hear and you think they are useless.

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i like how my comments are the negative of what you want to hear and you think they are useless.

 

Do you understand the word "context"? If not, I'd recommend link removed to get a full definition.

 

I have a hard time taking you seriously when you keep responding to my posts--in all threads, not just this one--in an overly critical and almost impish manner.

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some people have trouble being expressive.

 

Yeah, the boyfriend is very monotonous, has OCD, and is pretty shy. He is also pretty monosyllabic. Also, he has never told anyone outside his family (except me) that he has OCD, including his childhood friends, because he has felt "embarrassed." I think this may be part of the reason, at least I hope it is.

 

During our first few "hangouts", he almost looked spastic because he was twitching so much from being nervous. He later told me he was twitching and blushing because he had a crush on me.

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Yeah, the boyfriend is very monotonous, has OCD, and is pretty shy. He is also pretty monosyllabic. Also, he has never told anyone outside his family (except me) that he has OCD, including his childhood friends, because he has felt "embarrassed." I think this may be part of the reason, at least I hope it is.

 

During our first few "hangouts", he almost looked spastic because he was twitching so much from being nervous. He later told me he was twitching and blushing because he had a crush on me.

 

there's the answer to the question on your thread, i think.

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Thanks for yet another useless response.

 

Let me rephrase for people who, for one reason or another, could not grasp the context of my question:

Why would someone who says that he has been "in love with me" (refer to the first post) have trouble uttering these words earlier?

 

i have trouble saying it cause i'm not in love with someone.

 

how is this response to your question useless? maybe he thinks he is in love with you but just can't come to tell you. maybe he doesn't fully mean it. why would i tell a girl that i'm in love with her yet i can't say it? that was your question. my answer is that i'm not in love with that person.

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how is this response to your question useless? this would be why i wouldn't tell someone i love them.

 

My question asked why do people have TROUBLE telling someone else they love them. That is not the same as "why wouldn't they tell them they love them."

 

You did not take my question into context because:

A) He told me he has been in love with me, (given it was during an argument). (Refer to my original post.)

B) I was wondering why he had trouble saying it earlier, given that he "has been in love with me."

 

You on the other hand had another assumption:

A) That he never told me he loved me.

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"I feel like i have been in love with you, but haven't really been able to say it." - doesn't translate to 'in love with you' in my book. not when they say 'i feel like i have been in love with you...'

 

Yes, that is something else to address. The boyfriend never definitively answers anything because he is extremely cautious.

 

For example:

I ask him: What do you want for dinner?

He replies: Up to you.

I ask: Indian? Yes or no.

Bf: Up to you.

Me: YES OR NO.

Bf: okay.

Me: Did I say okay was an option? Yes or no.

 

Fine, I sound harsh. But I'm trying to make him stop using words like "feel" "think" and "maybe." I think he isn't decisive about anything as he cares too much about what others think and want. He never wants to offend anyone (i mean anyone, not even strangers). This is another reason why he is shy. Meanwhile I don't care if I offend others.

 

I am translating this to "in love with you" because he utters the words "think, feel, and maybe" in practically every sentence he speaks.

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My question asked why do people have TROUBLE telling someone else they love them. That is not the same as "why wouldn't they tell them they love them."

 

You did not take my question into context because:

A) He told me he has been in love with me, (given it was during an argument). (Refer to my original post.)

B) I was wondering why he had trouble saying it earlier, given that he "has been in love with me."

 

You on the other hand had another assumption:

A) That he never told me he loved me.

 

that is the impression you gave...technically he really has never said he loves you. correct?

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answer part deux

maybe he has trouble telling you he loves you BECAUSE YOU ARE TRYING TO FORCE IT OUT OF HIM.

 

What? I never forced it out of him. I want him to tell me what he wants to eat. * * * * ing hell, I end up ordering for him much of the time because he can't decide.

I feel like his mother ffs.

 

He only said this tidbit because I told him I couldn't get over something he said earlier (one of my hang-ups) and that I could not visit him in a couple weeks. I told him that I would still talk to him, but I cannot see him in person anymore. He basically ended up calling me and telling me that he "cannot study for finals right now because he cannot focus at all." And then he proceeded to tell me this "feel like I have been in love with you" business. I never forced it out of him.

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i said maybe he has trouble telling you he loves you because you are forcing things out of him. the food is just another example. different symptom of the same cause. i think he's just stressed from the way you speak to him. just let him be. i'd be weirded out if i had someone making me say something THEIR way like you are doing to him.

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i said maybe he has trouble telling you he loves you because you are forcing it out of him. the food is just another example. just let him be. i'd be weirded out if i had someone making me say something THEIR way like you are doing to him.

 

If I let him be, we'd never get anything done. He's almost 23 ffs, If he can't even decide what he wants to eat, how can he make decisions on a grander scale? He cares way too much about what others think. I mean everyone, strangers, professors, peers, etc.

 

Then again, I guess I'm happy with doing whatever I want in a relationship, but still I was merely trying to accommodate his desires while helping him be more decisive.

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If I let him be, we'd never get anything done. He's almost 23 ffs, If he can't even decide what he wants to eat, how can he make decisions on a grander scale? He cares way too much about what others think. I mean everyone, strangers, professors, peers, etc.

 

Then again, I guess I'm happy with doing whatever I want in a relationship, but still I was merely trying to accommodate his desires while helping him be more decisive.

 

why are you with him if you have so many bad things to say in such a negative tone?

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why are you with him if you have so many bad things to say in such a negative tone?

 

hahahaha, I actually really, really like him, if not love him. He's the cwutest guy I've known and my first sex partner. He's really intelligent, pretty witty, and so attractively shy and awkward I just want to rip his clothes off and have filthy intercourse with him.

 

Anyway, I guess in general I am a pretty negative person. It's not just with him. I actually like him the most out of everyone I've met. (Well he's tied with my ex bf at the moment.)

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You are very controlling to him. Certainly if he is 23, he's eaten before & thereforee can make the decision himself. You are stepping in as the role of mother voluntarily & yet punishing him for making you that way.

 

You are painting yourself as the bad guy in this relationship, to the point that everyone on here will feel nothing but pity for him.

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