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Not ready for a relationship, but I don't want to hurt her?


sharksale

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Here's the deal, I'm 20 and until about two months ago, I've never had a girlfriend. That's not at all to say I haven't been with women before my, now, girlfriend - but never mutually exclusive seeing one woman.

 

She is 23, beautiful, very smart, has a great job, and with her I've had some of the most amazing experiences of my life, way beyond physical intimacy.

 

Anyways, I'm a fairly worldly person, I met her when I was in Texas and now I'm living on the other side of the world for the next month or so. When I return to the states, I'll be going to college over a thousand miles away and won't see her very often.

 

Here's the problem: On the one hand, I've never felt this way about a girl, and deep down inside I'm afraid I never will again. She's everything I've ever wanted in a girl, I've basically been praying to God for a girl like this my entire life, and she has finally been delivered to me.

 

On the other hand, I'm a very insecure person, even though I don't outwardly show it. Between the distance and the time apart, I don't think I can handle this relationship emotionally. It literally hurts every second of every day being away from her. That mixed with the terrible thoughts going through my head about losing her is making this relationship absolute torture. Anyways, she has spent over $1000 to come visit me over Christmas and New Years. I don't know what I want to say to her when she gets here. At this very moment, I feel like when I see her at the airport I would actually cry. And I never cry, ever.

 

Jeez... what's wrong with me?

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Here's the problem: On the one hand, I've never felt this way about a girl, and deep down inside I'm afraid I never will again. She's everything I've ever wanted in a girl, I've basically been praying to God for a girl like this my entire life, and she has finally been delivered to me.

 

 

If the above statement is true then there is no problem. Why if she is the "one" would you risk losing her?

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I'm also a realist, and know this may just be an initial phase of falling in love. Although I definitely know many of her flaws and accept them, I feel like it is certain that eventually we would grow used to each other, or than I will find something about her that may completely turn me off. I'm not expecting it, but I mean, how often is it that on the first try you find your wife?

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I'm also a realist, and know this may just be an initial phase of falling in love. Although I definitely know many of her flaws and accept them, I feel like it is certain that eventually we would grow used to each other, or than I will find something about her that may completely turn me off. I'm not expecting it, but I mean, how often is it that on the first try you find your wife?

 

Most people dont find their future wife on the first try. Many that do dont last to see it out.

 

I think you need to have a serious sit-down with yourself and figure out what you want. You are all over the map.

 

What you posted above is patently different than what you originally posted. In your orginal post you were sounding quite dramatic about the whole thing referring to her as the "one". Frankly as a man I think you need to be more level headed about your decisions.

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Complete disarray, like I said, very conflicted about how I should be feeling and questioning what I'm feeling. All over the map would be a perfect way of describing it, maybe it's just infatuation, maybe it's my intuition warning me, maybe I don't know at all...

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I understand your reservations and insecurities, but NOTHING in life is guaranteed. NO relationship is ever guaranteed....not even marriage. So its a risk, and a long distance relationships is hard...but it has just a good a chance of working out as any other relationship. If you really truly care for her like you say you do, don't let fear make you lose her.

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