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My friend ditched me when I needed her..


la5t13

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Hi,

 

So over the past year and a half I have had one really close friend. She knows everything about me and I know all about her. She has major family and personal issues. I am always there for her. At 1am I will drive to her just to talk.

 

She has always been there for me. Although there have been a few times where she said she couldn't handle having friends or talking to me. But that usually lasted a week and then she needed me again. But besides the support system we always have normal fun together.

 

Anyways, today my sister had a bad panic attack about my dad who is not living with us anymore. (He is an alcoholic)

 

My sister also has an eating disorder of the last four years that we never knew about. This is thanks to my dad. Nevertheless, she had to go to the hospital today and my mom took her there.

 

I called up my friend to talk and she said everything would be ok. I then texted her later and said thanks and everything was fine.

 

She texted me back and said she pulled over because she is so overly stressed and brokedown. She said she needs time alone from me and I need to be strong on my own. How does she not get the fact that I am the one holding my family together? I am the man of the house. I can not breakdown. I am always there for her 247. But when I need her, her problems are more important? I can understand that to a degree, but if I care so much for her she should be able to care for me.

 

This is probably the third time we stopped talking. In a week or two things will be normal again. But right now I'm so upset and I need a friend and she is gone.

 

I didn't respond to her text.

 

I ended up talking to a different friend who knew nothing about my life. Most things I don't share even with my closest friends. I told him not to read any further if he didn't think he could handle my issues. I just need someone to talk to. Is that so wrong?

 

I know he will read it and be fine. He is a really good friend.

 

But what should I do next time that girl needs help? Should I be there like always when she is leaving me high and dry? Or forget everything and just be her friend no questions asked. I don't know what to do. I'm so emotionally drained.

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My friends can tell when I'm in trouble and need help. They are the only people in the world that I don't have to ask twice. It's a high standard to meet but I do the same for them. Everyone else is an aquaintance.

 

Your right, if she is not there for me than she is not a real friend.

 

sounds like you guys really need to be more independent... in my opinion

 

I am very independent. I take care of everyone, only sometimes I slip and get worried or upset and need a friend. Every other time I am there for everyone else especially my friend. It is just sad that when I finally need her she is not here.

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I called up my friend to talk and she said everything would be ok. I then texted her later and said thanks and everything was fine.

 

She texted me back and said she pulled over because she is so overly stressed and brokedown. She said she needs time alone from me and I need to be strong on my own.

 

I think this is a really good thing actually. I think it's great that she was able to tell you this.

 

It sounds like she's very emotional, on the verge of a break and just isn't able to help you right now. I'm sure she would if she could.

 

I've had friends like this.

 

I know it's really hard because you're thinking, "I was there for them and all of their mess, why can't they support me?".

 

But the truth of the matter is, she just can't.

 

When I told my best friend that once, she said, "Well Grace, you are just a better friend than I am".

 

And that was that.

 

I mean, that was really blunt. And you know what, it's just the way it is.

 

You just be a good friend to your friend, and hope that someone else, will be a better friend to you.

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