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I have to move out, my heart is broken, now what?


tom_duley

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My wife just decided we should separate. I decided to be the one to move out becuase I could not stand being in this same house without her. I know that she is talking to another man. My question is should I start looking for ladies to talk to, or what do I need to do get my heart to stop hurting.

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No, you are not in any state to start looking for another woman. I would suggest you take some time and reflect on what happened in your marriage and see a lawyer to make sure your financial rights are protected. I understand how painful this is, but running to another woman will only mask your pain, not take it away.

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I've been where you're at and it's not a fun place. On the flip side, there's no better way to get over being dumped than getting under a couple of women. It's a huge ego boost and can help in the healing process. So long as you're only out for having fun and the women understand that then I say go for it.

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That sounds like fine advice too. I think I have spent too much of my life doing "the right thing."

 

 

Nothing wrong with doing the right thing. If you did the wrong thing would you be able to look at yourself in the mirror? Many people have tried the random sex thing and it didn't help them get over their ex...because it is not the genitals which are bruised, it is the heart and soul..and an orgasm doesn't repair the heart and soul.

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I just need to be able to calm down enough to sleep through the night, I am freaking out.

 

Well, I guess my strategy wouldn't work for you since you are a man, but when I have felt like you are feeling now, I would go to sleep hugging a stuffed animal...kind of like going back to the innocence and comfort of childhood I guess. I am not sure what you can do to ease that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach...you just have to muddle through as best as you can and know that over time the pain will be a dull ache rather than like a punch in the stomach. Hang in there.

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Do you think if you start to take control of things it might help? What I mean is that if you are separated, are there things you can do to get the ball rolling for divorce...information you need to find out so that you are protected financially etc. Are there children involved. Although it doesn't take the ache away, sometimes being pro-active helps you feel like you are no longer allowing things to happen to you...you are taking charge of your future rather than leaving it in the hands of the other person.

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