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i went out with this girl, but she has a bf, she didn;t tell me.


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i met this girl, well shes a japanese xchange student living in canada for like 1 yr to study english and at same time she works. she has a work visa.

well we met at the library outside, waiting for it to open. i just started conversation with her. and gave her my info . my email, number and i also got her email too.

after 2nd week we agreed to meet up for coffee, and 2nd date we went out for dinner, and 3rd time today we met and watched a movie. the thing that also i agreed i went wrong was i never made a move too. never kissed, hold her hand, or talk sexual with her. hehe guess i'm shy and yes inexperienced. i could have done it at the movie but there was too many ppl around and we weren;t sitting in the last row. it would also be embarrassign if she rejected me kissing her or trying to hold her hand and ppl saw this. or maybe in japanese culture if looked down upon and maybe she call the cops and i get charged for assualt.


the funny thing is while we were walking along the mall , i asked her right. are you married-she said no, and then i asked her if she was single and she said she has a bf in japan. i mean why didn;t she tell me she had a bf before we even went out. i mean do you have to ask every girl you attracted to if they have a bf or are u single. i guess i just assumed she was single since she agreed to go out out with me right.


what i'm wondering right now is, why the heck did she agree to go out with me, if she has a bf. i'm guessing she thought us hanging out was just friends going out and that i could help her with speech talking in english, while i thought it was us 2 going out and possible relationship bf/gf and dating. i mean why would a guy approach a girl at the library and get her number and email just so he can be friends with her, i mean its obvious the guy wants more.


hfow can i prevent this from happening again. when i approach at girl. i want a date and yes gf, but i guess she thought of it as just friends hanging out. do u have to ask every girl out if she has a bf or after a few dates ask her if she wants to be your bf. oh ya how can you make sexual talk too without being seem as a pervert

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japanese culture is high-context that works on subtle clues of verbal and nonverbal behaviour. you probably didn't pick up on those cues, however one of the cues might have been that she kept to herself (neither of you made moves). usually people in that culture aren't as direct as north americans are. she could have been shy.


or she could have just been a cheater.

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