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Yet another Crush on a straight guy thread


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I'm 21 & bi (no one knows) and have been having a crush on my good friend's 17 year old brother who is totally straight. He and I like to talk a lot whenever we're together; we seem to have a lot in common, but I've never hung out with him without his older brother around.

 

At times I had thoughts that he likes me back as more than a friend because he's extremely friendly to me and has been touchy-feely when drunk (arms around shoulder, patting on the back, hugging, but nothing beyond this). He's just a very charming person in general. Now the icky part, he also likes to talk a lot about girls, and he's been trying to get with this one girl for a while who he really likes, so I know there's no chance we can be anything beyond friends. He also won't be turning 18 until spring so I've been trying my best not to drop any hints about my feelings so no major issues occur and the friendships aren't ruined. I know this isn't going anywhere, I just wanted to vent and let you know how much this sucks for me, and I still can't get him out of my mind. Thanks for listening.

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thats sucks even more bc even if this guy was bi/gay, itd still be odd for you bc it be your first time and no one knows about your sexuality. i feel for you! dating/love is hard enough, cant imagine what it would be like to like somone and not even know if they liked girls!

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I would leave him alone. If he is after a girl, don't interfere just "hoping" he is bi. He doesn't know you are bi, so he is probably just patting you on the back like you are "one of the guys." And the "brother of a friend" advice would be the same if you were a girl or a guy...not a good idea!

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well you're not alone...the same thing is happening to me, it really sucks. I really like a woman I work with who is engaged to a man and no one even knows that I'm not straight. I also imagine sometimes that she likes me but everytime I see her with her fiance that fantasy shatters and leaves me feeling jealous and sad. I don't have a solution, if I did I wouldn't be feeling like you do. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone. I guess that's what this site's all about.

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I think it's a bit odd that you're 21 crushing on a 17 year old. It's not a good habit to get into.

 

Why? The guy is almost 18. I don't see it as a big deal to simply have a crush on someone who is almost legally an adult. I mean, depending on the laws, it may be a crime to act on it sexually (although I think in many states and countries it's perfectly fine when the person is over 16). But I don't think it's that big of a deal. It's not the same as crushing on a 12 year old or something.

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For one thing, a four year difference is a fairly big difference at this age. Many 21-year olds are almost done with college, living on their own, etc. and can drink legally. A 17 year old is still in high school.

 

Secondly, in some states it is still illegal. One of my friends, who was also 21 years old at the time, had sex with a 17 year old and went to jail for it. He is now on the "sexual predators" list and has great trouble finding a job- nobody wants to hire him. He is a perfectly okay guy but his entire life was pretty much destroyed by this. So yes, it is something to be wary of.

 

In any case, I think it's better to aim towards someone a bit closer to your age.

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Here in NZ, 16 is the age of consent.

 

I met my current Boyfriend when I was 26, and he was 18. Works fine, but does require letting him make his own mistakes, and learn his own lessons.

 

Don't chase straight boy's or buses. Both of them are likely to leave you behind....

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  • 4 months later...

there's nothing wrong with being attracted to younger people

 

im a senior in my school and i have to look after a lot of younger kids, and i saw this kid around 13 or so (i'm 16) who was really cute, and yea, we poke our tongues out at whenever we see eachother, there's nothing wrong with it

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Update: I haven't seen my crush since the December vacation. According to his Facebook profile, he's been going out with the girl (the one I mentioned in my first post who he said he likes) since the middle of January and she is constantly posting on his wall expressing their love. In slightly better news (but not much considering he's not single), he turned 18 last week. This sucks, but it's time to move on.

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I Have Feelings For Someone Else Wh...
I Have Feelings For Someone Else While In a Relationship

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