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Ladies would it make you uncomfortable if a guy asked you this on a 1st Conversation


ConfusedDater
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No... I wouldn't say it was too personal. One of the first things in a meet-n-greet is saying, "so what do you do?" what do you do for a living. And then the next would be, "who do you work for?"... not a personal question. I would take it the same as someone talking about the weather or current events. A conversation opener.

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I guess it depends on how it came up in the conversation. If the topic is what you do for a living I see nothing wrong with that question.

 

Yeah she asked what I did for a living and I told her and then she said-"what company do you work for? I never told her because I said I don't know you that well and you can be a stalker.

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Yeah she asked what I did for a living and I told her and then she said-"what company do you work for? I never told her because I said I don't know you that well and you can be a stalker.

 

](*,) You actually told her that...not very smooth. You were assuming she had bad intentions which I am sure she felt was insulting.

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Wait- didn't you ask this question before? Or was that someone else?

 

I don't think that's too personal. I don't think that you have to worry too much about a stalker at that stage.

 

 

I just thought it would be a question to ask once you meet. That 1st conversation usually goes no where so it's just better to wait.

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i wouldn't tell a guy exactly where i worked either before i meet him. i might be vague (ie, - i work at a law firm on the east side of town) or something like that, but not more specific than that. in person though, that's different.

 

Exactly I gave her the area I work in but didn't need to go into what Company. i actually met a girl and we had a nice evening and even when she called back and we chatted I asked her what part of a certain neighborhood she lives in and her response was-"you don't need to know all that right now"

 

 

So I have the right to not to share certain information.

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I just thought it would be a question to ask once you meet. That 1st conversation usually goes no where so it's just better to wait.

 

I'm not sure how the setting in which she asks will influence whether she plans to stalk you or not.

 

I understand not wanting to give out a lot of personal information to a stranger, but I think the chances of something happening are pretty slim and probably worth the risk. Also, I don't know if you should have told her you were worried about her being a stalker. You could have changed the subject or made a joke somehow.

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I'm not sure how the setting in which she asks will influence whether she plans to stalk you or not.

 

I understand not wanting to give out a lot of personal information to a stranger, but I think the chances of something happening are pretty slim and probably worth the risk. Also, I don't know if you should have told her you were worried about her being a stalker. You could have changed the subject or made a joke somehow.

 

 

How is me saying that any different from a female asking me this questions in the past

 

Are you a murderer?

You are not a rapist are you?

You can be a Stalker

 

 

I found those questions very insulting and did not laugh one bit when they ask them.

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I would not want to give out such information right away. But at the point at which the person gets my full name, they can probably find out that type of information quite easily through the internet so I would not find it a big deal to give it out. On the first conversation, I'd keep identifying details to a minimum (I'm assuming you're talking about the first conversation through an online dating site).

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How is me saying that any different from a female asking me this questions in the past

 

Are you a murderer?

You are not a rapist are you?

You can be a Stalker

 

 

I found those questions very insulting and did not laugh one bit when they ask them.

 

It's not. So maybe you should keep that in mind when you ask the question.

 

I don't think the question was overly personal but I do think you answered in an inappropriate manner.

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Personally, I don't love that question. But I also work for a company that's been in the news in my city, and when I say I work there, there are inevitably tons of follow-up questions.

 

Typically, though, I don't think it's a big deal. Though it's always nice when it's prefaced by or followed up with "If you don't mind me asking.."

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Next time just tell her that it's "top secret." She may suspect you are a CIA agent or whatever. Let her think what she wants to until you feel comfortable telling her where you work.

 

There are some job classifications that require you not to reveal your true line of work to certain people. I would not tell anybody if I worked for the CIA.

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How is me saying that any different from a female asking me this questions in the past

 

Are you a murderer?

You are not a rapist are you?

You can be a Stalker

 

 

I found those questions very insulting and did not laugh one bit when they ask them.

 

It isn't any different. What you are not understanding is that just because other people have behaved badly that doesn't give you the right to behave equally as badly.

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Yeah, I'd for sure get uncomfortable if it was the first convo I'd ever had with a guy!

I went on a blind date a few months ago and in a phone conversation he told me it hurt his feelings that I didn't share more information with him. Inside I'm thinking, "Well I've know you for like a week... You might come after me with a pitchfork if I break it off..." Since I work at a public place I didn't want him hunting me down and making a scene or something.

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