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depression / jealousy


SamiJayne

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Since I've become depressed, I've noticed myself becoming more and more jealous with the girls my boyfriend hangs out with. The slightist thing that involves a girl will make a rage start inside. I'm very honest with how I feel, and I've talked it over with my boyfriend. He is ok with it, as I've only really gotten upset over it, and I've never stopped him from going out or seeing them.

But his friends are all meeting up for xmas dinner in 2 weeks, and I personally don't want to go. Well thats not entirly true. I've love to go out and try an have fun with my boyfriend But the reason why i dont want to go is. I know I'll have a problem if a girl hugs him or he ignores me for 5 mins. I know I'll get upset over it. So I don't see the point in ruining both our evenings? and I want to stay home. But he refuses to go without me, which is STUPID.

I don't want to make myself upset, I hate feeling insecure. Compaired to his female friends I'm a blooming dog. And i know he used to fancy at least 3 of his female friends, and one he dated a few times. He also got really drunk once and stayed at one of the girls houses, and slept on her couch. Which even before I became depressed I had a problem with. But since the depression happened, I don't believe him anymore. It's like a part of me always wonders if he slept with her or not. Yet I never thought that before, I always believed him when he said he slept on the couch.

I am taking anti depressents, and I am trying to fingure out ways to make the depression and jealous go away. But since my baby died, it's become even worse. I hate it. i hate the person I've become.

It's not fair on my boyfriend, and its not fair on me. Any ideas on what to do? Should I go to the dinner and see how I feel? Any ideas on ways to deal with how I'm feeling?

Or should I stay home and avoid situations that involves girls till my depression goes away?

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well the situation is kinda complected, the best way to get yourself out of this depression is to have something new to do with him, to recall the good memories and share something that makes you more close to each other then you'll feel less fear toward his friends as you still see they are just friends and the relation is not more

ask yourself this: "he dare to play behind me?" the answer will lead you to the truth of the whole relation

and you should figure what you said as "distrust" and not "jealousy"

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Being depressed makes you insecure...being insecure makes you doubt of your ability to be a good girlfriend...which makes you jealous...which makes you miserable. Its a vicious circle!

 

The same happens to me, when I feel depressed (I have a history of depresison but im good now) I get really jealous and possessive. I think that's because when you're depressed you do the things you enjoy (and make you feel good about yourself) less often and often depressed people rely on their partner to give them this confidence boost. The problem isn't exactly what the boyfriend does, it's more about you expecting him to do stuff and meet people in order to accommodate YOU (unless instead of jealousy you just can't trust him). Fill your life with stuff...go out without him...meet up with male friends... you'll realize there's nothing to feel threatened about if he really is a good guy.

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  • 2 months later...

i dont know if im going through post partum depression but here it goes, i just had a baby 4 months ago, regaurly im pretty self conscious but not this bad, currently my boyfriend is not living with me but living in florida trying to pursue his career in the music industry. but i alwasy seem to have to ask him if he is seeing someone else, funny thing i could never imagine him do it, but i ask him anyway, i make him hurt really bad, he tells me his chest stomahe and head start to ache and every time i ask him these questions he gets tottaly axhausted and i need to to do something to fix my problems and i dont know what to do i always seem so be upset, i love him beyond what words can say, and i always seem to overreact i like call people and ask them questions, and i know he is going to blow up one day so i need help, i need to get over this and i dont know how, no matter how many times i say he loves me i still feel different but when i ask him and he says no i always seem to be relived but i dont know. im in such a weird position and all i want to do is be with him but there are too many things holding me back from going back out to florida( he and i lived out there for three months and i couldnt find a job) right now i work 4 overnight a week and im aways exhausted after wards, now my man was always my sense of excape from the world and i was his too, but now its like he is questioning us because of me. i dont want to be like this and i dont mean to be like this, but i dont know what to do im so emotional and i cant help the tears at all anymore. I DONT WANT TO BE LIKE THIS ANYMORE, can any one help me to fix my ways??

 

he really loves me but i dont know how to get rid of this feeling

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  • 2 weeks later...

How long has it been since the baby died? 4 Months?

 

The way that you are feeling is natural. If he is allowing you to keep him home, then just enjoy a quiet evening together, and forget about the others for a while.

 

Everyone feels bad occasionally. A baby that died can be a considerable burden to think about. Don't blame yourself.

 

Allow yourself to go through all the emotions of death. In the end you need to release the soul from your heart, then say that it could not be avoided, it is not your fault that the baby died.

 

I don't know how old you are, but another baby will come to you eventually! Stay strong and know yourelf that is all you need to think about right now!

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