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This is a therapeutic post for me. I broke up with my ex 3 months ago but have had much time until now to figure out what happened until now. I was contemplating breaking up with her for several months before I did it. I did it in a rage and wished I did it in a more civil manner. Here goes:

 

1) She would have been considerate or sympathetic when I was stressed out or feeling down. She made me feel like I was being a burden to her when I was feeling emotional.

 

2) She wouldn't have drank as much. The problems/issues that drinking brought on

a) One night she decided to go to a club by herself. (I couldn't go because I had study the next day. I wasn't going to tell her what to do.) She caused an accident because she was too drunk. She was at the club by herself for a while that makes me wonder if she cheated on me that night.

b) She would get extremely angry if I upset her.

c) She wouldn't listen to reason.

d) She would get more touchy and have that "look" when hanging out with me and my best friend.

e) I couldn't trust her because she seemed to have no self control when she got drunk.

f) She missed a couple of work days because she got too drunk the night before.

g) She was late habitually late to work because she got too drunk the night before.

h) She messed around with a GF of hers because she was too drunk.

i) She would rather hang out with some strangers to smoke pot than go back to the hotel with me. (I was there that night. It was just the prospect of someone who had pot became a more attractive option than going home with me.)

 

3) If I was upset with something and I tried to explain it to her, she would have listened to me. She wouldn't get pissed off and actually understood why I was upset and not make me feel guilty about expressing myself.

 

4) I would be able to talk to her and feel comfortable doing it. I was uncomfortable talking to her because the littlest things would irritate her. I had to "censor" what I said in order for her to not become "overwhelmed" with what I was talking about.

 

5) She would actually have something to say when she called. She would call and I tried to talk about anything she would have no comment. If I kept silent to let her talk, she wouldn't say anything and then complain about how we have nothing to talk about.

 

6) She would have wanted to have sex not just when we were drunk or hungover.

 

7) She wouldn't be rude or mean when we talked for no reason.

 

8) She would have been more encouraging for me to study instead wanting us to go out and partying.

 

9) She would actually want to talk about the relationship.

10) She would have opened up and talk to me about how she was feeling.

 

11) She would have tried to deal with problems or issues we had rather than just ignoring them. She felt talking wouldn't produce anything good out of it.

 

12) She wouldn't have been so paranoid about me breaking up with her.

13) She would actually give me credit for the things I said rather than her immediate reaction would be to disagree or not believe me.

14) I wish she wouldn't make me so angry with the things she said. She never cussed me out or call me names but she would push my buttons, as if she was trying to get me mad.

 

15) I wished if she didn't agree with my viewpoint on an issue, she could at least understand why I felt what I did and not dismiss as what I thought was COMPLETELY WRONG.

16) I wish after the break up she would have at least given it a second thought about us getting back together.

 

There actually a few more but that's a pretty good summary.

Overall, I wish she could have communicated with me better and not drink as much. She became just a fun GF to hang out with to watch TV with while drinking.

 

Feel free to comment on the list or come up with what you wished your ex would have done.

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Thanks. The drinking was so huge issue. Actually, I think it was a symptom of many other major issues. I'd say 75% of the problems of the relationship stemmed from the drinking. When she fu**ed up because of the drinking, i.e., the accident, I know it made her feel worse about herself and of course, would make it harder for her to be in a relationship.

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