Jump to content

Freinds with ex


tacotac
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this ...
What To Do If They Cheat - Do this First

Recommended Posts

My current bf has an ex he had been with for over 2 years. It was a complicated relationship, and he broke up with her, and she got over emotional, so he went back with her, and things just weren't working out and he broke up with her again. She had a lot of bad habits and what not he didn't care for in her, just not the type of person he wanted to be with. She became obsessive of him, even after they broke up. Awhile ago when he showed interest in another girl, she was upset and what not when him and the other girl were together, even tho they weren't in a relationship anymore. Things didn't work out between him and that girl. I guess the girl was using him and actually had feelings for and went with his room mate instead, who are getting married now. His ex lives close to him and is good friends with his mom and family still. So she hangs out with his mom often. He is still friends with her and talks with her often. When he started to go with me, he told her if she couldn't "behave" and show respect when he and I were around, unlike his prev. experience with the other girl, he would not hang out with her anymore. She has been very well, in fact I got to meet her, and we have become good friends. We talk mostly online. She is also with someone else right now whom she feels deeply for, so that is all good and what not.

 

I think it is good we can all get along and what not. Is it a good thing that he still talks to her often as a friend?? Or is this an unsafe practice. He is over her I am sure, as he describes often of what he found to be a turn off in their relationship and her as a person in general. He isn't nasty towards her. As I said before they are good friends and keep in contact. It seems to be a safe friend relationship. Sometimes he talks down on her, but not in a mean way, but I think maybe that is because he doesn't want me to think anything otherwise like to worry about something or what not. Is this a safe thing not to worry about, or does this situation raise a red flag?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Trust your instincts on this one. I had an ex who received phone calls from his ex-wife late at night, and it didn't bother me one bit; they'd known each other a long time and it was a comfortable relationship. (There were things that bothered me about him, which is why we're not together any more, but that wasn't one of them!)

 

If you feel comfortable with her and with him - let that guide you. It may well feel OK for him to talk to her as a friend now she's safely with someone else and is unlikely to bother him. I'm friends with most of my ex's, but I would never in a million years get back with any of them!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

in general, i like to keep the past the past, but this sitch doesn't sound too awful or drama-filled.

 

the only thing i'm curious about though is why he'd bother remaining friends with the ex if there were a lot of things about her he wasn't into to begin with. i'm of the general mindset that the person i fall in love with is the person i am good friends with and whom i respect. if i don't have that, i'm likely not to fall in love, nor will i want to be friends with you after we break up.

 

i thought my ex husband was a truly decent fellow, and i had respect for him. but never had any interest in staying in touch or remaining friends, coz that part of my life was over.

 

go with the flow, but just make sure that there isn't some unhealthy reason why your guy feels the need to stay attached to the past, or why the ex must stay close to his mom. it wasn't like it was a long-term marriage or anything.

 

i do commend you all, though on keeping things civil.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...