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First Date with the Ex...TONIGHT!!


simple_guy25

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okay, I'm kinda freaking out a little right now. I dated a woman back in the spring, but after a couple months it wasn't working, we weren't looking for the same things and she was very distant with me. We parted ways and went NC. Over the summer I met someone else and that went well until two months ago, when she left me for her ex.

 

Since then the girl from spring made contact with me, and we've been txt'ing and talking online a lot and we've hung out in a group a couple times. The other night I wrote her asking if she wanted to hang out tonight and watch a movie or something. She wrote back saying she didn't have her kids tonight so why don't we go out for coffee first, and then back to her place for the movie. Now that sounds a lot to me like a date! In fact its pretty much identical to how our first date played out last time.

 

I'm just not sure what to make of her right now. I'm definitely interested in seeing her IF she wants to see me, but I don't want to start getting involved again only for her to turn-tail and run like last time. To be fair she has been making more of an effort to start conversations with me lately, she'll even txt me just to say good morning or goodnight. On the other hand, she has said she doesnt want to "jump" into a relationship right now, which is the line she used before. Though I'm not looking to jump into anything at this point either, I'd rather date for a while and make sure things are gonna be different this time.

 

The feverish, over-analytical side of my brain is in control right now.

 

1. IS tonight a date in her mind?

2. How far do I let things go, back at her place?

3. Should I be getting involved with her again after all this time, NC, and healing from the past?

4. What do we talk about? its not REALLY a first date in the get to know each other sorts, but we've been disconnected for so long, I don't know where to start the conversation without getting into "the past"

 

Talk me off the ledge people, please!

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Sounds liek you need to talk things over with her before jumping into this.

 

we've had a couple talks about it, but none in person. They've all basically ended with her throwing my other relationship in my face as a mistake and proof that I should've waited for her like she wanted. She's apologized for saying that and we've decided to leave the past where it lies and start over.

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Wow, congratulations! Despite your nervousness, it's obvious that you're really excited and happy about this

 

The best advice I can give you is just try to calm your nerves... and don't listen to what she's saying... look at what she's doing... i think she wants you back, man...

 

The best way to handle it is to try and remember how you acted on your FIRST dates. what brought you together in the first place? it can do it again, trust me.... and it's what she's secretly hoping for.

 

Best of luck, I wish you a lot of relationship success!

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Despite your excitement, don't jump in. Wait for her to do the jumping - which she sounds likely to do!

 

Take it easy, don't over-analyse, enjoy and see what happens. Over a period of weeks if necessary. You don't know whether you should be involved or not, yet. Time will tell.

 

You'll know soon enough whether it's a date or not. And I suspect most women respect a guy who hangs back and doesn't go in with heels flying from the word go - I know I do.

 

And as to what to talk about - well, what do you do with your time? You're going to be watching a movie - surely there'll be something to say about that? No need to go for the heavy stuff until it feels safe. And if it doesn't feel safe - don't do it!

 

Good luck, and have a great time!

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Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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