I want something i cant have?

[Teamjim1bamf]

I dumped my gf about a month ago bc she was being a little too flirtatious back home for my liking while I was away at college. I got my * * * * back from her house and havn't talked to her for about a month now. It was my suggestion that we not talk to each other for "an extended period of time". I think that if I really ment anything to her she will eventually call. I mean I was the best a boyfriend could be to this girl for a year and a half, how long do you think it will take her to realize this. No worries though, in the mean time im doing my best to forget about her, but there are times that I come really close to calling her maybe she needs to be reminded that I still care. What do you think........................ also read my reply below VVVV

[ljoy74]

I hope you know a relationship takes two, it's not always about you.

If you did the dumping and you were the "best boyfriend" then why didn't you confront her about the flirting issue instead of just dumping her? And if you dumped her clearly it was you who no longer wanted to be with her so you should not be worrying about whether or not she will one day want you back. If you want to call her go ahead but don't call her to tell her you're the best she could ever due. You don't need to rub anything in her face. You broke up with her, remember that.

[lady00]

I don't think dumping someone and then expecting them to realize how great you were really works. I mean, sometimes it can work. But if you break up for that purpose, it's kind of reckless and could very easily backfire and the person could elect to just move on.

[Teamjim1bamf]

I did confront her about the flirting thing and as for dumping her, I felt that I had to do it, it wasn't worth it to me to be constantly stabbed in the back, she would do it right in front of me too, when I came back to: for example (watch her soccer games) she would flirt w/ other boys who came to see her game bla bla bla w/ the details I wanted more than anything to be with her but I felt that she was making that impossible. So you see It's because I feel she wanted me to dump her that Im waiting for a call that as I see you are saying probably wont come.

[lady00]

I guess I'm just saying that you should never break up with someone with the hope that they will try to win you back by admitting all of the things they did wrong. Sounds like things were not working out, so I think in that case it was wise to break up but I think that you should then go your separate ways and not expect anything. I guess I just think that if you broke up hoping she'd realize what she was doing was wrong and change her ways, you may very well be disappointed.

[Teamjim1bamf]

ya i get the feeling you're prabobly right thanks for the advice its always nice to have some1's opinion on something

[tylercdurden2004]

I agree you shouldnt dump her with the expectation or covert contract that she will realize and must come back to what you deem was soooo good for her. If you were such a good BF why didnt she come back? Your terms of what makes a good BF are obviously different from hers. Being a good BF is often not what we are led to believe. It doesnt mean always catering to a GF needs, it doesnt mean giving up your life for a GF.

 

Having said that I think you need to really sit down with yourself and decide what it is that you want in life. You clearly did not like her behaviour which is perfectly acceptable. Its your life and you must determine what you want, what you are willing to put up with and what you expect. But you must also communicate these things through your actions not your words. If a GF does something that you are not cool with yes then maybe you explain what it is if she does it again you dump. You make it perfectly clear that you are not accepting these things in your life.