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friend ruining my relationship


stephla

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i've already written here about a friend i've met who fell in love with me,and me not telling my bf about him,since it's been just a few times i've seen him, and I didn't want to hurt my bf's feelings. I also wanted to keep this friend to hang out,just for that really,but at the end I did what you advise me,and what I thought was the right thing to do. I talked with my friend how this is not ok to my bf,and I would really like to continue our friendship,but it's not possible. I only and truly see him as a friend,and he sees me as a potential mate,and it has to stop.

 

Now is happening what you tell me might happen in my previous thread. This friend really turned out to be mean. Yes I hurt his feelings,but he knew I had a bf from the start,and I tried to develop a friendship,but when I saw it's cleary not going to work,i decided to end it. But he still said he would like to have a drink with me now and then. I said ok,not to completely hurt him,and I was also very uncomfortable during than conversation,so I said ok,though not being sure about it of course.

 

But now he said he will cause me problems,he made treats, he texts me,calls me,he said he wants to ruin my relationship. We didn't do anything,i don't know what he has on me. He could only make things up. Or you know,everyone has it's own version of a story.

 

I will tell everything to my bf. I want him to know the truth,but I'm worried how he will react. And i'm worried what this friend could do to split us up. We've been together for two years and I love my bf very much. What should I do?

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I will tell everything to my bf. I want him to know the truth,but I'm worried how he will react. And i'm worried what this friend could do to split us up. We've been together for two years and I love my bf very much. What should I do?

 

Tell your bf how about this guys behaviour. And then go as NC with him as possible. Don't give him a reaction, that's what he wants.

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Tell your bf how about this guys behaviour. And then go as NC with him as possible. Don't give him a reaction, that's what he wants.

 

i definitely agree that you should do this. did your 'friend' tell you this over email/instant msging/texting by any chance? you could always show those to your bf too if you're really uneasy about what this guy could do/say.

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yea u kinda are stuck there in the middle- sorry you have to go through this!!!

 

I definitely would change my number- because if your friend is the least bit sane then he would do you no harm. I would just change my number!!!! Dont talk to him anymore. Ask him why he is upset before you do that and make sure he knows that his behavior is very very disturbing. A normal person would not do that. People try to deal with things differently -with patience and being nice- but sometimes you have to break it down to someone who wont quit.

EVENTUALLY all of them do. I had a similar case- he just had to accept that I wasnt available and I told him I didnt want the friendship anymore.

 

We never spoke again and I got my peace.

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