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Tell or not


macualayfan

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My recent ex-partner said to me once 'I wonder how many lovers you've had?', to which I responded 'What, this week? Oh, around 40, I guess!' and then went on to say, more seriously, that he was the only one of any relevance at all.

 

My advice is to make a joke of it and then tell the other person how important they are to you ... much nicer than telling them to mind their own business and **** off!

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Thats none of that persons business. Someone that asked me that would sound hugely insecure if we just met. Besides a dishonest person would lie, and a paranoid person my not believe the truth if its no. Lame question, id say "NEXT!"

 

Great stuff....actually changed my mind on this. LOL

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Hi there,

I was wondering if you were to started dating again and that person was to ask you if you ever cheated (and you did cheated on a past relationship), then should you tell them the truth or just deny it?

 

I think when you enter a new relationship, your past ones are irrelivent. There is no reason to bring it up unless they are insecure. And if you did cheat, and don't ever intend to again, then telling them the truth would most likley ruin any potential for this relationship. So no, I would not tell.

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i think it's an important question, but it should be asked at the right time

 

 

There is no right time for that question.

 

If you ask it of a cheater, they will be mad that you asked at all. If you ask early, they will say what business is it of yours. If you ask later, they will say you should have asked me earlier if it mattered. Its a no win.

 

If you ask them, and they say yes Ive cheated... then you probably lose some level of respect, or trust in them. Is that reasonable? Yes and no.

 

So should you ask the question? Yes and no. If you have a 0 tolerance towards cheating then yes ask. If you dont think people can change, ie once a cheater always a cheater... then ask.

If you think that the past is in the past... then just let it go and dont ask.

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There is no right time for that question.

So should you ask the question? Yes and no. If you have a 0 tolerance towards cheating then yes ask.

 

Can't really say that as I have done it in the past last year so it would make me a hypocrite. On the other hand I'm hoping I don't get asked that question as I really don't feel like talking about, too embarrassing in fact since it's on his post as well. If I answered yes and they go on procceed how, what happened, how did he found out, another I would feel so mortified.

 

If you dont think people can change, ie once a cheater always a cheater... then ask.

If you think that the past is in the past... then just let it go and dont ask.

 

I have changed and learned from it as to never doing it again. If I changed then others can too. So not necessary is once a cheater always a cheater true, unless there're exceptional cases such as my friend who always cheated on all her b/f's and still till this day continues to do it.

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I think the information is certainly worth knowing. It IS my business if my partner is possessed of such character as to do something like that. The same way it's worth knowing if she used to do porn, prostitution, drugs, have diseases, a criminal record or whatever. If I'm going to be with this person, I have a right to know what kind of person I'm dealing with. I have a right to make a reasonably informed decision about who I want to have a relationship with. BUT, at the same time, if they are someone who practices deceit/betrayal, why would they suddenly not be deceitful about that too? I don't think very many people who say "yes". The answer will almost always be "no", either because it's true or because it's not. So, the info is worth having if it can truly be obtained, but just flat out asking isn't always likely to achieve that.

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21 Cheating Quotes
21 Cheating Quotes

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