Kiradoll Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Okay so the stupidest incident happened tonight. I was driving to my sister's house who lives around my boyfriend and its a really confusing neighbourhood (every house looks the same) so the way I find my sister's house is I go to my boyfriend's street and then follow the street there to my sister's. So tonight I was driving past my boyfriend's house and I thought I saw his dog running accross the street, so I turned around to see if it was his dog but I couldnt' find it anymore, so I just kept driving but then I started feeling bad and thinking what if something happens to it and I just left it? So I turned around again to look for it which meant I drove past my boyfriend's house a third time and this time I saw the dog but it was with a different owner so I was like 'okay good' and I just left and went to my sister's. Then later tonight my boyfriend says he saw me drive past his house 3 times and that I was trying to look through his windows and spy on him. I'm like ' * * * !" I told him what I was really doing and he says he doesn't buy it. I'm like 'im sorry it looked like i was spying on you but i swear I wasnt and I'm offended you would think I would do that' but he wont stop accusing me! * * * ! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 I think that you've already stated your case. I wouldn't argue with him about it.... Why would you stalk his place afterall? Link to comment
Kiradoll Posted November 26, 2008 Author Share Posted November 26, 2008 He says that I probably freaked out cause I called him twice and he didnt answer prior to that and so I went to check up on him. But this is just all accusations that couldnt be farther from the truth! I feel so helpless in this situation its like no matter what I say he is convinced that I was stalking him, it's so frustrating. He's like, 'it was so obvious you were trying to look through my window and you were driving super slow' What?!?! That makes no sense. Maybe it looked that way cause I was looking around searching for his dog? And obviously I was driving slow! its in a neighbourhood and I was looking for his dog and I didnt wanna run it over! God, this is so frustrating. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Kira, put yourself in his shoes.... His concern seems somewhat valid to me. It is an odd story... (Hugs!) But, what concerns me the most is that this is even an issue. You've stated your case, told him the truth, why doesn't he just let it go? Link to comment
kadvati79 Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 If it were me, and my partner said that he didn't buy it. I'd just laugh! I mean, its a funny situation. I can see how someone might think that it was them stalking, but I think you destroy this one with humour. Just giggle when he suggests you're stalking him. It's a hilarious story. It could quickly spin out of control if you take it seriously. My two cents... Link to comment
greywolf Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Man... if someone said that to me I'd probably show them how much I wasn't stalking them by never seeing them again. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Do you do other things that have led to his suspicion? It seems to me that there were probably other events that led to him jumping to this conclusion. Link to comment
redhearts Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 He has a reason to accuse you because he is up to something, or else why would he be looking out his window? Link to comment
Kiradoll Posted November 26, 2008 Author Share Posted November 26, 2008 Do you do other things that have led to his suspicion? It seems to me that there were probably other events that led to him jumping to this conclusion. No, this is seriously out of nowhere. Link to comment
Kiradoll Posted November 26, 2008 Author Share Posted November 26, 2008 It's not like I was sitting outside his house with binoculars, I was driving by! Can't I drive past my boyfriend's house without getting accused? Link to comment
kadvati79 Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Not all situations need to be defused with serious discussions. Seriously, defuse this one with humour Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 I agree Kira! Is this really worth being upset about? Your boyfriend seems to be really childish! I do have to ask though! Did your boyfriend live there before your sister moved to the area? Link to comment
JadedStar Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 No, this is seriously out of nowhere. Well you have written quite a few threads that are either hinging on insecurity or a b/f who is feeling suffocated, or perhaps he isn't into this anymore. I feel they are all related. Either you are keeping too many tabs (hence all of those threads) or he just isn't really feeling this relationship. Your prior threads are definitely a sign that this isn't out of nowhere. You two have had some problems with issues for a bit now, and i think that his feeling you are checking up on him is related to the other issues. I don't know if you are being too insecure, or he is being disrespectful, or a combo of both where each of you are feeding into each other. Link to comment
Kiradoll Posted November 26, 2008 Author Share Posted November 26, 2008 I agree Kira! Is this really worth being upset about? Your boyfriend seems to be really childish! I do have to ask though! Did your boyfriend live there before your sister moved to the area? Yeah, my sister just moved in a month ago and I'm still learning the area. I got a bit lost with the streets so I found myself by going to his street cause I've memorized his street number so I can find it in the maze of suburbia. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Well you have written quite a few threads that are either hinging on insecurity or a b/f who is feeling suffocated, or perhaps he isn't into this anymore. I feel they are all related. Either you are keeping too many tabs (hence all of those threads) or he just isn't really feeling this relationship. Your prior threads are definitely a sign that this isn't out of nowhere. You two have had some problems with issues for a bit now, and i think that his feeling you are checking up on him is related to the other issues. I don't know if you are being too insecure, or he is being disrespectful, or a combo of both where each of you are feeding into each other. I agree....and let's be honest here. If any of us looked out our window and saw our SO slowly drive by 3 times within a short timespan we would most likely come to the same conclusion as the bf did.... It's a reasonable conclusion even if it's not true... twas a funny story though...try to laugh it off!! Link to comment
Kiradoll Posted November 26, 2008 Author Share Posted November 26, 2008 I agree....and let's be honest here. If any of us looked out our window and saw our SO slowly drive by 3 times within a short timespan we would most likely come to the same conclusion as the bf did.... It's a reasonable conclusion even if it's not true... twas a funny story though...try to laugh it off!! But I think that ultimately you need to trust your SO when they tell you what they REALLY were doing. This just shows me that he doesn't trust me. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 But I think that ultimately you need to trust your SO when they tell you what they REALLY were doing. This just shows me that he doesn't trust me. oh I agree, but I think it's understandable that he's having a hard time wrapping his brain around your story... Months from now you two will be laughing at this... Link to comment
kadvati79 Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 But I think that ultimately you need to trust your SO when they tell you what they REALLY were doing. This just shows me that he doesn't trust me. Or that he doesn't have a sense of humour. Why not help him see the funny side? Link to comment
annie24 Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Not all situations need to be defused with serious discussions. Seriously, defuse this one with humour yes, i agree! accuse HIM of stalking you!!! afterall, he was the one sitting and staring out side of his window watching you drive by! i mean, who does that? i sure don't sit by my windows and watch traffic drive by? what is he, a cat? Link to comment
littlestar Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 He sounds weird for even assuming you would stalk him! Link to comment
greywolf Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Tell him that you don't do things half-assed! If you were really stalking you wouldn't drive by in a car, you'd get out and creep around the house. duh.... Drive-bys....sheesh... that's for amateurs. Link to comment
kaoticbaby Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 does he know that you pass his house in order to get to your sisters? i can see it from his point of view, though, and it does seem sort of fishy. but you made your case so i would just try to stay away from the topic... and maybe try to find another way to make it to your sisters from now on. Link to comment
greywolf Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Well it's not directly on my way but I always get lost when in that neighbourhood and I was coming from another city and I wasn't sure of the way, I took a wrong turn and corrected myself by finding his street because if I could find his house, then I could know where I was and find my way to my sister's from there. All these houses are like cookie cutter houses, it's so hard to find your way around. Are you and the OP the same person??? Link to comment
kaoticbaby Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Well it's not directly on my way but I always get lost when in that neighbourhood and I was coming from another city and I wasn't sure of the way, I took a wrong turn and corrected myself by finding his street because if I could find his house, then I could know where I was and find my way to my sister's from there. All these houses are like cookie cutter houses, it's so hard to find your way around. i understand. i'm not knocking the method. but i think you should invest in a GPS before you're boyfriend goes crazy. some people get paranoid. Link to comment
PsychGirly Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 I don't think you should stress it too much. You already explained to him that you weren't stalking him, so you can't really do much else but prove to him that you're not a "stalker". Just be a little more conscious from now on of what you do, & make sure you don't do anything that reaffirms his thoughts. Link to comment
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