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Finding it impossible to talk to people


MoonintheRiver

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I've spent a really long time without friends and my confidence has just gone and it's getting worse. I'm in college right now so there's lots of people and I know the first step is to talk to people but I can't. I don't know why I just can't talk and it really depresses me. I had to introduce myself to a class today and I had to fight to not shake or lose my voice. I'm usually good at group speaking so this was a shock to me. I think I'm getting worse.

 

I only have one 'friend' there, well had. I think she picked up on my negativity. She had been avoiding me for a long time and it annoyed me. It lead to an argument and she said she didn't feel comfortable around me. I really care about this friendship but I think it's doomed. She said it'd take time but I don't know if she's sincere or just letting me go without directly hurting me. Any time we talk we just argue and I never know where I stand. I feel like I let her down and wish I could make it up to her and show her that by nature I'm not a negative person.

 

It's my 21st birthday Monday and I'm alone. Wish I had some company I'd love to actually celebrate for once. I can't break out of this depressive shell and it's ruining my life. Any advice and criticisms would be appreciated. Cause I have no one to confide in. Thanks for reading.

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Well I was ill after leaving school for a long time and just lost contact. At first I was fine by myself I coped very well. Just as time went by it got to me. I know I should have made more efforts back then although it makes you wonder why no one made efforts either. Although all my situations are all my fault I just went wrong somewhere.

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I understand. They may have lost contact with you since you had been away from school for so long due to your illness. But you can regain your friend zone since you are back now. why not initiate conversations with your friends first and try to communicate with them. I am sure they will talk to you and befriend with you like before. good luck to you!

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i'm on the wrong side of 30; i've never had friends;

 

i grew up introverted, parents never fostered my extroverted self but instead taught me to be obedient,study hard etc.., and through high school and undergraduate years thats all i focused on; now i don't have any social skills.

 

of the people that i was "friends" with in some shape or form, we moved away; and even though i have them as contacts on social network sites, now i also wonder why they don't make more of an effort; when i have made some; its a cycle--everybody i meet i loses contact with me

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Thanks for the replies. I never know how much effort is too much or too little anymore.

 

My main problem is I feel really bad that whatever small amount of esteem I had was crushed when I fell out with my only friend there. I think I'll keep way and see if she comes around... I hope so. But for now I'm completely alone and can't summon the courage to talk to people I don't know.

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today was kinda a bad day for me as well, thinking about a friendly acquaintance, seeing her have lunch with a new friend. wish i was socially skilled enough to put someone at ease and have an engaging lunch together, instead i sat by myself and watched the squirrels outside.

 

well later in the day i talked to two girls that sat close to me in the common study area. asked them if they had class with me. i didn't really think about it as i was feeling kinda bad. its something i know i need to practice so i did it no matter how bad i felt. one was friendly enough that in the future i'll see her again and ask her about a class she mentioned she was taking.

 

i'll practice that "are you in my class" line at the club/bar as well, though i need to move onto something more engaging/flirty. i'll practice holding eye contact or smiling as well; i've finally decided to give toastmasters a try; previously i think i was too shy and afraid of criticism of my poor speaking skills. have quantifiable goals and stick to them.

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I thought about it a while back but it slipped my mind lately. In honesty I think I'd feel awkward there. But it is an option I've just never had any counseling so I don't know what it can do for me. I'll find out about it though.

 

It's so annoying I know exactly what I need to do to socialize but I really can't do it. There's no logical reason for it either. I just feel really weighed down like I physically feel the emotions stopping me. It even effects how I interact with my family. And I wish I had some way to get rid of it.

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I think I'll give it a try, thanks for the advice.

 

Situation with friend doesn't seem to be working out I get the vibe that it won't. So I think I'll give up on that I can't deal with it when people don't reciprocate and it's getting me down really bad and making me feel messed up. I'll have to just start things new. I won't get into why I feel wronged by this but I'm in two minds as to whether I should move on without saying anything or if I should express my anger. I really don't want to feel weak. So that's probably where the need for confrontation comes from. I have my difficulties with people but I'm not a victim, no one seems to suspect my problems cause I don't act that way. I just find that sometimes standing up for myself makes me feel better.

 

Hopefully somehow things will change, I'm just dreading this Monday it's my 21st Birthday and I'm on my own. Wish someone would drop out the sky and throw a party for me... sounds stupid but that's honestly what I feel right now.

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Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
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