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is this a red flag?


Mr. Stealth

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well 3 month ago i met a girl with who im toghether now.

we dont see eachother alot but im always glad and enjoy the moments when she is with me.

but there was ones a day that i did not like to go out and i actually tought she would say to stay with me and do something toghether but she didnt.

she went out with some girls and a friend.

actually i wouldnt mind if she went out with the girls but that guy who was there too was a kind of room mate.

and the thing is that she talks alot about this guy.

she accidentally even told that she even went for a drink alone with him.

and later on i saw on her mobile that she even made another appointment with him to go to a concert witch she did not even talk about me. i know i told her that i did not really like to go out anymore to party's and concerts but it does not mean that she doesnt has to let me even know what she is planning.

my question is this normal or do i really have to worry

she is 23 and im 28.

thx for reading this.

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I know you posted quite a bit here, but I see a few "potential" red flags, but without any further information it's really difficult to say if you should be worried or not. At least, to me.

 

I don't see a problem with someone going out with their roomate who is the opposite sex. Hanging out with roomates is normal. But "accidentally" told you means there was some apprehension when telling you.

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Well the red flags for me are that you don't go out a lot and will choose friends over you. Also, the fact that she spent and is planning to spend time. Add this to the fact that your relationship is fairly new and you two should be taking the time to get to know one another is some suspicious behavior. Perhaps she is just more independent and likes a lot of free time, but perhaps she's not as interested as you are in her. Hard to say.

 

I know that when we get older, we can sometimes think someone younger is "so busy" when we were just as busy at their age and forget!

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i rather think that she had or still has some kind of crush on him.

cause when i talk about a girl that mutch like she is doing then im rather in love with someone or have feelings about someone.

even about my best friend (girl) i dont even talk too mutch because i dont want her to feel unconfortable in a relation.

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Why dont you just ask her what the deal is with this guy? Hey have you two dated? Do you, have you had feelings for him? Does he have feelings for you?

 

Maybe tell her that you do not mind her talking to him, or hanging out with him (if you feel that they are just friends) but if you are going to be serious about your relationship with her, then there needs to be some boundaries. IE she shouldnt be hanging out with him alone (behind closed doors).

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