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Falling for a 1-taken & 2-coworker


Fen
5 Red Flags In Relationships
5 Red Flags In Relationships

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Evening,

 

I'm mostly writing because I have to get this off my chest. I put the 1 and 2 in my subject as both should be pretty big red flags and folks will definitely me.

 

So here goes my rambling :

 

At some point this summer a new girl started working for our department. She works virtually so her team is all in other areas so my old manager showed her around. Because I handle stock orders for the section he introduced her to me to ensure she had everything she needed. Just seeing here there the first thought I had was 'Wow, this woman is beautiful', she looked shy and I was my usual quiet self so we didn't really talk.

 

Anyways, I spoke to her pretty rarely except to bring her stock but eventually they installed MSN for work purposes and when I brought her an order I said she should get it installed. So she did and we really started chatting. At this point I told myself she appears to like me. We had long conversations during downtime and got to know each other some. This is where I ran into a big snag... Someone had told me they thought she was single but unfortunately she has been with the same guy for 4 years.

 

I don't know from the conversations how well it's going between them. I know she loves him but at the same time they seem to do little together. Either they are very independent or maybe they just don't have anything in common. The one thing I can't tell from it is if she is happy or not. They are shopping for a house but not finding one and she seems to be more serious about it than him but at the same time she seems frustrated that it's not moving along. Maybe it's just my false hope talking, but sometimes I think she wonders if he is the right one for her.

 

At this point we mostly only chatted online as we work a bit far apart. However, last week I got to spend a lot of time with her. We were out of town for a workshop (along with ~200 others) and as she knows few people due to being a virtual employee, we spent most of our time together. I don't know if she liked it but I had a wonderful time. It also made me realize how much I care for her. I am desperately hoping I won't fall in love, especially if nothing can happen, but at the same time I would give anything to be with her.

 

Currently we're both extremely busy ( The stock ordering is not my job ) so I have less time to chat with her, but I have told her how I feel in an offhand manner without coming right out and telling her my feelings. Actually, telling her at all was probably not the wisest decision but unless she is blind there is no way she would not know. I basically just told her how I had to constantly remind myself she wasn't single and that her boyfriend was a very lucky man. I was honestly expecting an answer like 'Please don't waste your time' or 'Don't ever expect anything to happen' but her answer was a simple 'Thanks ' .

 

Her reaction confused me... it was the last thing I expected to hear from her. Any advice as to what I should do? What does her reply mean? I was fully expecting to be brushed off and it probably means nothing anyways but I can't help it at this point, I want to give her the world. And yes, I know I shouldn't press it but at the same time she is awakening in me feelings I thought I'd never feel again.

 

Thanks for reading. It felt good to get this off my chest.

 

*Bear in mind most everything except the workshop happens on MSN. I am trying to leave her alone because I can't see anything good coming out of this.

**Workplace relationships where I work are very common and not frowned upon

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hey mate...i can relate somewhat to this story. but instead of a co-worker, she is my good friend.

 

she was having a not so good time with her bf either. and i was "available" as i liked her, but she didn't know at that point. i am assuming she likes the attention you are giving her much like my case.

 

i will quote lostandhurt (a very helpful person on this site), on this.

 

"if you don't let go, you will be dragged"

 

and it will be very difficult afterwards.

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"Thanks" is by no means a green light.

 

If you want her, go get her but quit pretending this is your feelings awakening and something beyond your control. Your complimenting her indirectly is an attempt at seduction on some level.

 

So you choose your joy...so you design your sorrow.

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Almost everyone has a quote for me!

 

I get the message loud and clear... I will bury myself in my work and forget about her.

 

My intention is NOT to get her to cheat, I'd like to think I am not that kind of person. My intention (just as selfish) is if ever she is not happy, I just want her to see it and see that there is more for her is she so chooses.

 

But yes, pursuing this in any way or form makes me a bad person... so I just have to slowly back away.

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It sounds like you don't see her that often ,only chat on Msn.Why not take the plunge and tell her you have feelings for her and ask her out.She is likely going to turn you down,''I have a boyfriend'' but at least your feelings will be known and somewhere down the road she may come knocking on your door.

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