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Have you ever begged the person that dumped you to take you back? If so, how did it turn out?


AlwayzRight

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AlwayRight, you mite not always be right. Please Please do not do that. They broke up for a reason. If there is any reversal in their decision it would only come if they are left to themselves. Pestering, begging, nagging, manipulating will not give the heart-broken anything. I have been on both sides of the fences and this is what I feel.

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In my own personal experience:

 

If you're a guy, *never* beg a woman to take you back. It instantly kills any attraction that may be remaining, and the image they might have had of you as a strong and confident man gets replaced by the sight of you begging and pleading.

 

One exception: You cheated. Then you're allowed to beg.

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In my own personal experience:

 

If you're a guy, *never* beg a woman to take you back. It instantly kills any attraction that may be remaining, and the image they might have had of you as a strong and confident man gets replaced by the sight of you begging and pleading.

 

One exception: You cheated. Then you're allowed to beg.

 

I agree with this 100%........

but on the other hand it's not attractive for a woman to beg either..

though probably more forgivable.

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My first serious boyfriend I dumped when he wanted to move to a different state with me, marry me and have kids..etc. I just wasn't ready, and I guess felt like i wanted to see if "the grass was greener" We went out for 3 years, and I wasn't sure if he was the one. I was 20 he was 24.

 

The first 3 months after the break up he called me everyday, begging me back, we still saw each other as friends, and I guess I felt he would always be there. Then all of a sudden he stopped calling over night. He met someone else. At that moment I realised what I lost, and the rolls reversed. I called him everyday..but the difference was he wasn't answering. I begged, and pleaded for him back, but he told me he couldn't forgive me for hurting him so bad.

 

6 months later he called me. We both decided to give it another shot after a couple months of being friends, and it just wasn't the same on either end. Things were different and we knew it wouldn't work. We wanted different things out of life. But 5 years later he is one of my best friends.

 

I think it can work out in some cases if both people are on the same page, and the reasonings for the break up can be resolved. Begging never works for the dumpee or the dumper. You both have to want to make it work..and sometimes couples just grow apart and just become two different people from when they met.

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I have too much pride to ever allow myself to beg anything from anyone... I simply couldn't bring myself to do so and I recognize that it would be a waste of time.

 

can you send some of that pride this way

 

I begged my exbf to not leave when he did... 2 weeks ago, 3 days. I begged him... and pulled his arm and did everything I could to not let him walk out the door... but he did... and it's killing me. He was my best friend... I guess I wasn't his... even though up until that moment... he sure made me feel like I was.

 

So yes I begged him... cause he did this once before... and I knew if he did it again, we wouldn't be able to rebound as we did once... it's too hard... and we probably won't

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Well you know what they say about pride... It is one of the seven deadly sins and sometimes I wonder if I am too proud for my own good. After my Ex broke my heart even though it was a mostly amicable break it was initiated on her part. Haven't called, haven't contacted her, that doesn't mean I don't miss her or wish things where not as they are... I still dream of being together happy and wake up cruelly disappointed. However I am still quite insulted at having been effectively dumped, the mix of anger and pride has kept me from begging. Not 100% sure if that is healthy to tell you the truth though but as a man it is the only way I know how to behave. Doesn't mean I am happy day to day Mostly I am still trying to piece back together my heart and my life. I go through ups and downs like everyone else. I don't know if it is the right approach but for me anyways there is a strong mix of anger/pride involved in what prevents me from stooping down and begging.

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renaissance,

But have you considered what the breaker will go through if someone is begging him/her. It is just plain annoying. You can write a sincere letter or leave a sincere message on the phone once ..at the most twice. There is absolutely no necessity for begging. It only drives them farther away.

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To me, if you love someone and would do anything to have them back, sometimes one has to let go of pride.

 

Pride is hubris at its best, and can lead to downfall.

 

So I should let go of my pride and beg someone who told me they didn't want to be with me anymore? I loved, yes I did but apparently it wasn't completely mutual since I was left sitting alone with a broken heart.

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Im with loup on this one, this is something I would never resort to, im better then that to cheapen myself and beg, no way, she wanted out and thats it.

 

I could understand if you were cheated on as your trying to apologise for what you did wrong, but not a simple dump where you fell out of love etc.

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I made the mistake of looking weak getting all gushy. Now I am sorry I did. Good thing I only did it a few times. Then I found this site and realized what I was doing. Stopped it imediatly and realized I was just being selfish. Once I stopped and went NC she started coming to me instead of the other way around. I am still in NC and I think she has finally realized that she does not have control over me anymore. I am letting her go as should you.

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I never begged or pleaded with my ex. But I did do a lot of crying and talking about our relationship. He cheated on me and I was just so hurt. I even made the mistake of trying to "prove" he didn't love the woman he cheated with by sleeping with him again, multiple times. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I did call him a lot, but he called me just as much, so that wasn't one sided on my part. But it was keeping me from healing and moving on. So a month ago, I had one final conversation with him and told him I could not be his "friend" and why. Then I went no contact. He called me, emailed me and texted me many times. I never answered. I think (hope) he finally caught on that I was serious because it's been a week since his last phone call. I am letting him go. Time will tell if he decides he made a huge mistake. Thing is, if and when he does, I probably won't take him back.

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If the dumper wants out, there is no amount of begging that will stop it. Plain and simple.

 

I did a couple of things that perhaps I shouldn't have. I think several of us have. But in the end, a break-up happens for a reason. A break is needed. Space is needed.

 

Some are lucky and both grow and find each other again after taking that space. But most of us take that space and discover that there is much more out there and a better relationship is ahead. Either way a conclusion can't be reached until you have a clear head and that happens when take time to reflect and let go, at least temporarily.

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I am letting him go. Time will tell if he decides he made a huge mistake. Thing is, if and when he does, I probably won't take him back.

 

Good for you! I realized yesterday that if my ex did a 180 (which will never happen) and said he made a mistake, I wouldn't want him back. Not the way he is now. He'd need to change and frankly, I don't see that happening right now. He wants nothing to do with me and finally (yes finally!) I want nothing to do with him.

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To me, if you love someone and would do anything to have them back, sometimes one has to let go of pride.

 

Pride is hubris at its best, and can lead to downfall.

 

I agree,but there is a difference in trying to win back a lover without begging and pleading.I like to call it reasoning.Let them know your feelings and your hopes not to split up.If they don't reason,then leave them be.

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Begging has never worked for me, I don't think that I have really done a full on beg, but I have lost my power before and it was the worst thing that I could have done to myself. Because not only had I lost the person that I loved, but I lost my self. It was a real challenge to understand what that even meant too. Losing your power sets you in a downward spiral. Things that were once somewhat stressful become enormous.

 

I have also been on the receiving side of the begging, and like another poster said, the feelings that were elicited from me were guilt, not a reawakening of love, understanding and devotion. It was over and had to be over. If your ex has a change of heart they will call you, it really is that simple, if not, they won't. Reality can be harsh, and cold sometimes, but the closer that you remain to yourself the better off you will be, and begging will only send you further from that center of self.

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I wouldnt recommend anyone to use the begging method, i think what happens in alot of cases is that when trying to reason with them you get emotional , upset etc and while it doesnt look good , its what you are.

 

I personally got very upset when she dumped me, i pleaded with her to come back because i loved her so much, being honest if she thinks less of me because i got upset when she dumped me, well thats her problem, im not sorry that i cared , im not sorry that i got upset and im not sorry that i wore my heart on my sleeve.

 

Im not sorry for being who i am.

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