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Were supposed to talk over Thanksgiving


NoUse4AName

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So me and my ex are supposed to talk over Thanksgiving break. We dated for about 6 months before we left for different colleges and we were honestly like the best couple I have ever seen and most told us that. We rarely argued before we went to separate colleges and even if we did, we made up right away. Once we got both left for college things were tough. We both lived in IL and she went to Ohio State University and I went to University of Illinois Chicago.

 

The first month was ok, but then we started arguing more and more. It's weird because we never used to argue. The arguments were not even that bad but she is a very sensitive person and takes things harder then most. I felt as though she didn't care about me as much as I cared about her or at least she didn't show it. The funny thing was that before college she was madly in love with me, I don't know what happened. Things got worse and I said the stupidest thing ever that maybe we should take a break until Thanksgiving. This was about a month and a week ago. She thought it was a good idea and we agreed on it. About 10 minutes after I talked to her I called her back and said I was wrong and didn't want the break. She said that she thinks it will be a good idea and I then told her lets take the weekend to think about it. Well on Sunday I called her and she still wanted the break. I said I am not going on a break and she said she would call me back. Ten minutes later she called me back and broke up with me. She said she was still in love with me and it wasn't that she didn't care about me, it's just that she couldn't deal with the pressures of the long distance relationship. She said it used to be fun and it wasn't fun anymore.

 

A week after she broke up with me I drove 6 hours to Ohio State and surprised her with flowers and this long two page letter and read it to her. She cried and hugged me and I thought things were going well. She ended up telling me the same thing as she did before and I was devastated. About 3 weeks ago, a week after I went to Ohio State, I Immed her and told her that I think this is crazy, I said we were too in love with eachother not to be together, were too perfect and amazing with eachother not to be together. She said "We will talk soon I promise, Just wait till Thanksgiving break"

 

So She is on Thanksgiving break right now because here school has this whole week off, I am not going home till Tomorrow (Tuesday.) What should I do? Should I wait till she contacts me to talk to eachother? If she doesn't by Friday should I text her and see if she wants to get lunch Saturday? That way I give her the week to have fun and relax with her friends. Even though one of her best is friends is one of my best friends which will be interesting if she wants to hang out with both of us. Also, what should I tell her when I talk to her. I am thinking this:

 

Amy I want to apologize to you in person. We left for different colleges and it was hard. I didn't make it any easier. I hated my school, the soccer (I play collegiate soccer) and I depended on you for my happiness and I am sorry I put that much pressure on you. It wasn't fair for me to do that. When I went up to Ohio State I told you I wouldn't change myself for anything because I like the person who I have become. I was wrong, you made me realize that I needed to change something about myself. I have realized that I when I get mad I can't say mean things to others that I know aren't true and that I would like to take back. You made me realize that and I am sorry I did it to you. Amy I think this is ridiculous. We are so perfect for each other and you knew that too. We are amazing with each other and everyone that has encountered us has said so. We were the couple that couples envied, singles wanted what we had. We had something special and beyond a regular relationship. I am still transferring out next year but I am enjoying UIC more since we have been broken up. I am trying to make the best of what I have, I just wish I would have realized that I could enjoy it when I was with you. Amy I will be fine on my own, I can stand on my own two feet, but I would rather have your feet standing next to mine.

 

So is that good or no?

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From what you wrote, I gather that she was acting more clingy than you. Now you are the one acting clingy... maybe you should hang back a bit and see what move sshe makes? Frankly, it's tough for a relationship to last from HS to college, let alone distance. If I were you I wouldn't even tell her what you wrote there. It just kind of exudes desperation.

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We are so perfect for each other and you knew that too. We are amazing with each other and everyone that has encountered us has said so. We were the couple that couples envied, singles wanted what we had. We had something special and beyond a regular relationship.

 

To be honest there are all sorts of things wrong with this. What leaps out at me most (and I am sure it will to her) is that you have this relationship on a pedestal it cannot possibly live up to.

 

My gut feeling is that she has moved on. She still likes you but she is not thinking relationship and my rationale for that is if she felt anything like for you what you feel for her she would not be in silent mode. So at the moment you guys are on completely different planes and that is not good for communication.

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She already knows you want to get together. If she wants to too, she will bring it up. The more you *try* to convince her, the further away you will push her. You need to give her space and let her try and convince you. But, you must be prepared for her to not want to do any convincing. Sometimes, you just need to move on, as hard as it is.

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Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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