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I am 36 year old woman. I had relationship for 7 years with beautiful girl. We were really close, and talked about spending our life togeather. Unfortunately I have to move to another coutry and ofcourse I asked her to come with me. But she told me that she will join me after year. As soon as I left her, month after she called me and said that she is very happy to be herself infact she is dating a older man. I try to understand her situation being alone, even though I cried and felt helpless. Then she broke up with him moved on to another man. I went back to see her, she told me that we can never be same again. She don't want me to touch her or kiss her. I don't know what happen to all our dreams. She said she loves me as Friend, and care about me and I should respect her idea. I cannot stop thinking about her and losing her for man is too much to take. Now she calls me sometime to tell me how wonderful her boyfriend is etc., I don't know what to do. I feel if I stop calling her then I will lose her, if I call her then I get hurt listening her newly found life. I cannot believe I spend 7 years with her and we were soooo close and it only took her month to change completely. What should I do...


please help

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  • 9 months later...

Move on with your life. It's time to leave this relationship behind. Remember that song by Sting? "If you love somebody, set them free"


There's a lot of truth in that. It will hurt initially, but at the end of the day, you will realise that you will be happy knowing that your ex is happy too. Going back to it will only result in more damages being done.


Be strong! 8)

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I think it is rather rude of her to tell you about her new life and new love. That is pretty shallow-hearted. I would tell her that this bothers you. That you want to keep talking to her and be at least friends, but it is too hurtful for you to hear about her new relationship. Also, I wanted to say that some people hide their attraction to the same sex because they dont want to face change and are comfotable being interested in the opposite sex. Maybe she is feeling this in reverse. She may have enjoyed lesbianism, but heterosexual relationships may be more of her taste and she was afarid to admit that to herself before. Or, there is always the possibility that she is just playing the field to see what it is she really wants. But I thing that the important thing here is that she needs to understand that your hear is hurting for her and you would preffer her not to tell you every last detail of her new life. Communication is very important in ANY relationship whether it be intimate or friendship...

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Hi ndlw,


I am sorry for what you are going through. I can understand that this is very difficult for you to understand.


I don't have much more advice than other members already have given you. I just wanted to send you some extra comfort and support and I do hope that you will find happiness again.


Good luck!


~ SwingFox ~

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