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Have you ever met someone that just CAPTIVATES you? HELP?


Jadine

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Well...I did.

And i need some help

 

NOTE: written with exaggeration

 

Background

I am a freshmen in college. He is a junior. I took a crap load of APs so I am in junior level classes...and thats where I met him. The first day, 3 weeks ago, when I saw him...I was immediately physically attracted him. I noticed him looking at me intently during class, but I never returned his merciless gaze. One day, though, I was exuberant...jumping off the walls because of those god darn endorphins from working out and happened to see him bikeriding on the streets, and I shouted from my car: "HEY YOURE IN MY CLASS!" Mature? i know. From that point on...we started talking in class

 

The Situation

A week and a half ago, he came up to me and asked me if he could pick up my notes because he had a game..I told him to come by my dorm, we exchanged numbers. He came by, copied the notes down, asked me if i wanted to get something to eat at 11 at night, though I had just eaten, I agreed, and went with him. From 11 o clock at night till 3 in the morning, we talked and talked and talked and even climbed a tree...in the pouring rain...for real. The chemistry was WILD. Then...he dropped me at my dorm, didn't text me at all during the weekend. I thought this was weird. We just recently hung out again...this time...he hugged me a lot and told me I was really sexy..etc.etc. and we pulled an all-nighter which concluded with me sleeping ON his shoulders (not sleeping WITH him).

 

The Problem

I AM OBSESSED WITH HIM. okay not really. but seriously, I have not met someone that I am THAT attracted to and someone that I can open up to that easily...we end up talking for hours without even noticing the time. But now, we are gonna go on thanksgiving break soon, and then...a week of school and then exams...so the semester is almost over...I don't know what to do...how do I become less obsessed with him? How should I figure out if he wants to talk to me during t.giving break or anything?

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P.S: I have previously diagnosed myself with a low selfesteem prob...is that a legitimate reason as to why i'm obsessed with him? scared of losing him? even when we have hung out only TWICE!?

 

P.S.S: [this part is not an exaggeration] In my previous relationship of 2.5 years, I was heavily sexually assaulted and am not sure if I even WANT to be in a relationship. I don't even know MY motives or HIS motives...what is wrong with me? Why do I still want this dude?

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Slow down. It's fine that you have a big crush on someone. Take is as it comes. Yes, the semester is almost over, but there's the spring semester in January. Have a little patience. If you two hit it off, there is absolutely no reason why you can't keep in touch over break, then see where things go in January. In that way, it's actually perfect timing.

 

Try enjoying the feelings instead of focusing on the potential problems.

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3 Concerns luvs2kayak

 

I dont know. I'm so scared that things might go wrong and then everything will turn to mush. I haven't met someone that has the ability to do that in MY LIFE. We connected physically from day 1, and also followed that with a strong emotional connection. I know I need to slow down...that is something you are definitely right about...but HOW?

 

What do you think is going through his mind right now? I mean, he obviously finds me attractive (you should have seen the way he was hugging me..etc)...i can bet my life on him asking me to do something before t-giving break...prolly tomorrow....like what do you think he's thinking? it is not NORMAL for two people to hang out once and be able to spill their guts about their lives...

 

Also...i have no clue about his previous relationships...or anything. He also hasn't STATED that he likes me. I know pretty much every detail about the history of his life but have no clue as to how he is as a boyfriend or his relationships..should I inquire about these the next time we hang out? [i have alrdy discussed my previous relationships w. him]

 

This may seem a little silly but...a part of me is very cautious around him..for example..he's a junior, i'm a freshmen..he's a little older...i don't know his level of experience...what if he only wants me for sex because the very thing that brought us to eachother was physical attraction?

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Jadine, I am sticking with my original post. Let things unfold naturally. It's good that you haven't jumped into bed with him. Take it slowly. And ENJOY IT. Stop worrying because you are spoiling this really wonderful period of getting to know someone. You have a choice-- either worry yourself to death about everything, or lighten up and enjoy what's going on. I hope you choose the second!!!!

 

Good luck!!!!

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This happened to me about a month ago. I met someone and felt completely infatuated with him. The feeling was intense, but not very deep, and my feelings faded almost as quickly as they came.

 

I'd just take it slow and see what happens. Right now, you may find him attractive but it's way too early to really know how you feel about each other. Give it some time and get to know each other more. Your infatuation will either fizzle out or grow into something deeper.

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YOu need to calm down on the feelings before you get over into him and he is turned off or has the major upper hand in a relationship. Give it time...the fast feelings aren't good...take time to truly get to know him. Its good that you have a crush, so don't overthing, just RELAX is my main point.

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