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I like a guy with Asperger's Syndrome


ulgirl

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I'm hoping someone knows a bit about this disorder...I only know a bit from what I've been told, so I can't really explain this well...I guess that's why I'm asking for help.

 

A couple months ago I met a very nice guy and we become good friends. He's a little "awkward" socially, no problem starting conversations with people, but he doesn't really pick up on little social cues. I just thought he was a little eccentric. A few weeks ago was when it started hitting me that something was wrong. As soon as we had our first conflict, it become very apparent to me that he really does not know how to react to my displays of emotion. He'll say that he cares, yet there's no concern in his voice, no facial expressions, no attempt to even talk to me about it if he's not sure what to say. I eventually just had to pretend to be happy just to stay friends with him, because he obviously was not going to work things out or understand when he's offending me.

 

I recently found out from a mutual friend that he has Asperger's Syndrome, and suddenly everything clicked for me because he even fits the associated stereotype perfectly. Now I'm just not sure where to go from here. I know a friendship with him will have its difficulties, however, I really like this guy more than a friend. This started before any conflict ever occurred, and I still feel an intense attraction for him.

 

So I guess I need advice on being friends with someone who has this, and eventually trying to get it to develop into more, how to know if he likes me, things like that. So far we've been out a few times (he paid) but we have not called them "dates" and now we are back to being friends again after our first conflict. I'm getting the feeling this will be tough. ](*,)

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The biggest thing I know about it is that things don't embarrass them generally, and so they tend to assume things won't embarrass others. As a result, they may do socially awkward/weird/embarrassing things.

 

This is based on 2 guys I knew growing up that had it.

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I've been in a relationship with one... it's not impossible but a great deal of work. There are books out there... don't quote me but I think one was called dating dr spock.

 

I love intelligent men... way more than the pretty boys...

 

Ultimately it didn't work but his current wife seems to be okay with it... mostly because she's a lot older and adores mothering him to death (ewwwww). He couldn't even have a conversation with our sons therapist without her having to interpet for him - please... LOL!

 

I'm sure this guy is nice... just make sure you know what you are in for...

 

Good Luck!

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Guess you're gonna have to get used to his disorder if you want to remain friends with him. At my work there was this guy who was nice and would smile, but he was somewhat slow and you couldn't tell him a complicated order else he wouldn't understand you. Anyways yea just be nice to him if he doesn't understand your emotions, it can take a while for him to input it in his brain.

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They're also a bit paranoid. This is not so much of a disorder as it is a difference in the way a person thinks. They're not always genuises or specialised in one area though they do tend to be good at logical thinking.

 

For the record some of the nicest people I know exhibit characteristics of asperger's syndrome.

 

I think it is worth the effort because asperger's is something a person can overcome to an extent because they can learn how to be social they just have to put a lot of effort into it.

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Thank you for your responses. Dealing with this is definitely harder than I originally thought, but I'm hoping I will know how to react better once I get used to it.

 

Tonight I'm getting a bit frustrated because he doesn't respond to my text messages half the time. I realize that he could just not know that I texted him because I miss him and that I'm expecting a reply, and he doesn't know what his silence could tell me. But it gets hard to convince myself that he doesn't secretly dislike me or he isn't angry with me. I've tried telling him before that I want him to respond to messages, but I don't think any of it registered because this keeps happening again.

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