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Hello anyone who is willing to read my topic ... I have read so many posts, and am so amazed at how long people have gone with NC or how long the breakup has lasted. I guess i'm one of those girls who wants an immediate fix and just wants to get back together right away. OK, here is my story... I'll try to shorten it up. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

So, I was with my boyfriend for a year and four months. We had always had a connection prior to that, but he had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend. Finally last year we began to talk... We are doing long distance now btw. We met, loved being with eachother and started dating. Our relationship has been alot of LOVE, maybe obsession love though, like alot of jealousy... and alot of compulsive behavior.. Like if something wasnt right.. We would breakup.. and in less then 24 hours get back together.. Everytime we had a little breakup.. I knew inside we would get back together in less then a day.. so it never got to me... But this time is different.. I went to see him for a week last week... We had a really good trip together... nothing was overly different.. we had maybe two disagreements.. where he made me get upset and cry... and he would apologize almost immediately. On the day of my returning flight.. He said that we needed some space apart... and I started to cry again... and he said he would still be with me, but he needed atleast a week with no contact to see if he was happy without me. WELL. i did all the wrong moves.. I called him crying, emailed him.. and texted him nonstop. YUCK HUH? WELL, lets just say that made him tell me immediately on the first day that I did all that that it was over for good, that he fell out of love, he didn't care if i dated.. and for me to leave him alone.. OF course this made me go crazier.. all for him to not even respond.. and yes btw he knows by him not responding that i go crazier.. doesnt make sense.

 

Anyways, we broke up last Tuesday (my first day of being back home).. and I never left him alone since.. This is day 1 of NC.. and im terrified.. We have never gone more then 3 days without talking and im scared he ment what he said, that it is over for him and he really wants to move on. We had so many plans for the future.. Does anyone have any advice? We have never broke up for more then 3 days, why am I going crazy this time? I used to be okay with our breakups.. and that made him want me.. now that im not okay and show how much i care.. he pulls away? Nothing makes sense to me.. and I need some advice to not contact him... Do i have any hope? DAY ONE

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Yes, you have hope. And your feeling crazy will pass. I made some of the same mistakes you did when my ldr relationship ended. I was so used to having him in my thoughts it was mind-boggling to let those thoughts go. I sent multiple emails and went through many emotions. The important thing is to go about your life. You will feel better and it will get easier. Welcome.

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I'm sorry you're going through the messy breakup, been there, sucks big time. But it sounds to me like he's playing games/ the relationship is unstable, you should probably move on from him. You were your own self before meeting him, go back to that, enjoy being single and worry about your own needs. If you are thinking of staying friends, in my case that was a terrible idea, and didn't work out.. because it made it harder to move on, and dragged the process out longer. You've probably heard this over and over but it hurts now, but in time it will heal. Just delete, dodge, and do YOU. (try and delete his number/dodge the memories of the good ol' days/ and work on making yourself happy). Also taking down pictures/putting teddy bears he gave away helps. You can do it! Hope this helped

Ps. & if you guys really are a great match, maybe you just need some time to experience/be apart, and one day if your meant to be you'll be.

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So im horrible. I feel like just crying my eyes out. I can't even get past day one It just doesn't seem real to me because we have been here before alot.. And we had an amazing trip together. I just texted him.. all I asked was if I should give up.. and then he didn't reply for awhile so I called him by his nickname.. and still nothing.. so I just said i have something to tell you im going out for a bit go on IM tonight please. He doesnt reply to anything.. and Im trying to not go crazy in texts to get him to reply.. but its soo hard. Im taking this horrible.. its been since Tuesday our breakup but not one day I have left him alone.. I feel so helpless. I just want him back

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well i think you need to do exactly what he asked. dont talk to him. dont think of it as you are letting him go, think of it more as, he is asking you for a favor. it sounds weird but try it. when someone tells you to stop talking to them you should respect the request. if he feels the same way he'll contact you, and im sure he will. you just have to be strong and not contact him.

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Your right. Actually. He just responded.. he said he wouldnt show up.. and said something else... Im not even going to bother to respond.. he must still care a bit if I got a response out of him? Im going to try to go all week with no contact, I need tips!!!! im so Thx for responses!

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