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Please help!! feeling like I just dont know how to go on


shan33
Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS
Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS

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my ex and I broke up nearly 3 months ago although it was over the phone and I only saw him 2 days ago to hear it to my face. Every morningI wake up shaking with a kind of hot * * * * * ly feeling creeping around my shoulders....I know he still loves me. he said so, but he needs to be alone and live his life solo for a while...plus we had been arguing a bit. but it didnt seem like the big drama to me that it was to him. i loved him more than I can say and i still do. I have dropped a stone in weight, I burst into tears all the time and although I have been to the doctors to get some medication, i have only been taking it a week and I still feel so sad that I just dont see the poinnt in anything. I feel beyone desperate guys...how will I find anyone as incredible as him? how will I ever love anyone again knowing he's still out there? how can I be without the guy who said he wanted to marry me, that we were soulmates. I want to move on, I don'twant to be a victim and I don't want the pain anymore....I dont want to love him but he is all i can see. No matter how occupied I keep myself. I am in my final year of a course and it used to be so important to me but I can feel my work slipping and I feel like I am falling apart..... I just want to be normal again but my heart is still breaking. i love him so much. please help

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sweetie, sweetie, sweetie....**big, huge virtual hug**. i really feel for you; losing someone with whom you had shared intimacy of all kinds with is never easy, not for anyone. i know it probably feels like a dead end right now, and your just faced with a brick wall, and i know any words of consolation i type right now might not even register with you. we are all here for you. these feelings wont disappear overnight; but with time, the pain, little by little, will get lesser and lesser. keep yourself busy, and remember 'from the night can arrive the sweet dawn'.

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I can tell your deep heartache. It pained me to read of your pain. I have experienced that heartache, numbness and even the drastic weight loss. Listen to me YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS ONE DAY AT A TIME.

 

You will think about him every minute of everyday, it is normal at first. Feel the pain, cry, talk it out, but try not to dwell on it. I know that it is easier said than done and you will not be able to get him out of your mind, that is normal too at first. But at least start from today in millimeter steps to rebuild your life without him. It can be something as simple as removing items that you two shared or had shared memories with. I got rid of everything except pictures that I stored on disc and a couple of hard copies that I put in a box in an unused closet. When I was able to go back and look at them without feeling hurt or anger only relief that I learned from that relationship, I knew I was over him. I even forgave him and hoped that he found the clarity that he sought in life.

 

At first you may feel like you have not made any progress in healing, but you will be making progress. I personally always prayed that a year could just go by, then I'd pick a time a year away from the break up and imagine how much better I would be around that time. Without fail each time by the time the following year I was thanking God that I didn't feel that pain I did a year ago.

 

Very important; you MUST eat healthy. I lost 10 lbs in 4 days after my last relationship. I am thin so it was very apparent and people thought I was physcially sick.

What I found is that if you don't eat you won't have any energy to do anything and will most likely be in your bed or on your couch all day. That gives you too much time. Besides that it is unhealthy. I found that soup opens up the appetite and you can follow that by crackers.

 

It's been 3 months, it is probably best by now that if he has this affect on you than you should have as little interaction with him as possible. You didn't need him to tell you face to face what he told you on the phone. I am guessing, but you most likely thought that face to face would change something in him. There is nothing you can do to change his mind, if he has it made up already. Keep that in mind and realize that by limiting interactions you are not missing a chance to change anything. You are giving yourself a chance to experience life without him and that day by day it will allow you to get stronger.

 

I hope that this helps in some way. Feel free to private message me at any time.

 

Peace and Blessings

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Hey there sweetie,

You are definitely in the right place, we're all here for you. What duppy_conqueror and PrincessBOT wrote is just what you need to read carefully right now. Especially the part that says - YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS - because you really will. I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment, but slowly you'll see just how strong you are. It really will start getting better, you just need to focus on healing yourself.

Eating healthy and getting enough sleep is very important, do your best to take good care of yourself. Treat yourself as much as you can - you deserve it. Try to make a lot of plans for yourself for the weekends, at least at first, it did a world of good for me. I know you probably don't feel like moving at the moment, but keeping busy really does help, at least for a bit at first.

And concerning him and his feelings? well, think of it this simple way - if he really loves you and wants to marry you and sees you as his soulmate? why isn't he with you? its very simple - if he truly loves you, he won't let you go so easily. I know its a bit harsh but you need to realise that if you want to move forward. I know for one that I would never leave someone I truly love. If I needed to focus on myself and refelct about my life or what ever my reason would be to be on my own, I'd just take some time for myself, but I would never break a relationship that was meaningful to me in order to do so. Take the time to think about how valuable and important you are, and that you deserve the best. This can be a very empowering time for you, show yourself that you can get through this, we're right behind you hun

Big hugs xx

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