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Should I help her with Work?


Suttle

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Hi,

 

I had posted just sometime back regarding breakup with my gf.

 

She had asked for help with work...i had suggested her she has many people in IT who can help her out with.

 

She was having reservations as the people whom i referring to she doesn't trust. And there are some really pathetic people she knows who looks at her in very pathetic way.

 

She was upfront about not trusting them and only me with work as i used to help her out with the same always.

 

And because of the recession, am scared for her job as well...she has just changed her job and am really worried for her

 

Should i help her??

 

or continue with the NC.

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I am not able to take a decision....

 

If i help her she will linger around with hope and if i don't she will have some issues with work and probably land up contacting some people whom i also don't trust...

 

All girls can take care of themselves right???

 

If not their ex they "might" get some good friends who will help them without any favours asked in return.....damn.

 

I just feel am concerned for her safety more than helping her for her work.

 

Also her work is new, she needs me cause i know more about it than anyother person she knows....grr..

 

I would probably have to meet her to help which i dunno will help both of us....

 

damn it why things are so complicated....

 

Its become more of like making me believe " don't worry about her anymore...she left you and blah blah...."

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Look at it this way.

 

 

a) Are you really doing her a favor by helping her? She will never learn to take care of herself with someone else doing it for her. You arent going to be there all the time anymore she needs to find ways to handle things herself. What if she get a job with another company then what? Let her learn, sink or swim.

 

b) You are no longer with her. You are not responsible for her, she is an adult, at least in theory.

 

 

With everyone treating her like she is a "helpless woman" no wonder she is this way. I guess I'm a little confused about the bad IT crowd she might fall in with that will affect her safety? Can you explain that?

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