Jump to content

HELP!!! Is there any girls out there who'd like me?...


Umlunguusa

Recommended Posts

I feel like I'll never find a sweet girl like me, and if I do...she'll turn out like my ex: a total lie/nightmare who doesn't think twice about cheating on me. It makes me worry, you see, here's my problem:

 

I'm pretty good looking, so alot of girls flirt with me all the time...but I don't want to be liked because I'm handsome! I want to be liked because they like me. The minute they find out I write poetry, am generally more of a sensitive guy, or that I enjoy cuddling alot, etc. They desert me!

 

I feel like I'm always being used, whether it be for sex, or they need emotional support, or help with their school work, etc.

 

is there any girl out there who likes guys who are like me? I.e, like poetry, romance, cuddling, etc.

 

Because I'm beginning to feel hopeless...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sure girls love romantic, sensitive guys, but there has to be a kind of balance! You can't let them walk all over you, you can't be too sensitive, you know? I mean romance in a guy is really sweet, but if you're like that 100% of the time, it gets old...and boring.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Um im sure alot of girls would like that its just a matter of coming accross the right one. For some of us that comes as a feat thats not as easy for other people so trust me, you have nothing to worry about. Maybe your looking at the wrong people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello Umlunguusa,

 

I am wondering whether you are not misjudging the girls who are attracted to you. Of course I do not know where you are coming from, i.e. what were your previous experiences with romantic relationships or lack thereof.

You say in your post that you are good looking. This should give your confidence when you are around girls, especially around those you are interested in. You also have to realize that physical attraction is often what brings two persons together: hence it is very likely that in the beginning of a new relationship (I mean the very beginning), a girl will like you because she thinks you are hot. And I don't see what's wrong with that. But you should also be looking for a certain evolution in this mutual attraction, it may develop (or not) into something more complex: because of the very fact of being exposed to each other will allow the two of you to discover more about the other your attraction to the girl (and hers toward you) either will strengthen into something deeper, eventually leading to love, or knowing more about your date will decrease this attraction because you'll have found out something you don't like about her and can't do with.

I guess what I am saying is you should give these girls (who are attracted to you because either you are handsome or smart) a chance to discover more about them. Not only there is nothing wrong about liking someone because you feel this person is beautiful or intelligent, but spending some time with her may teach you a thing or two you didn't know about her and you may even like a lot!

 

Good luck with future date, I know how difficult it is to meet someone new whom you are not sure you can trust. But trust is never a given, it is something that builds up with time and discovery of the other.

 

Cheers.

Jerome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

what?!? you're single?!

well, let me give you my number.

 

haha. but in all seriousness, there are plenty of girls who would die for a guy like you. if i was single, i would! just keep positive. where are you finding girls to date, by the way.

 

I dunno, but most of the girls I'm dating...they seem to want "flings", I mean, they want guys' who'll just have sex with them...I want a girl who'll stick with me!!! I mean, sex is good...but only if it's with someone you love!, I don't like one night stands, or random sex with just anyone...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm the same. I have no interest in one night stands. Some girls are attracted to me and my qualities (same kind of personality as yours), so it is possible. Unfortunately they tend to take advantage of me in the end. I got to harden up. Like somebody else said, you need to find the balance... but without acting/forcing it

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yep, balance is everything

maybe it's an idea to spend quite a bit of time with a girl you're interested in before you get too close, so you can tell if she likes you for you. Being sensitive is a gret quality, I've always fallen for these type of guys, at the same time when a man gets too lost in his emotions, he loses his true strength, his assertiveness (not saying that's your case) and that makes the woman adopt a more masculine behaviour(possibly sleeping around, being abrupt) or not feel "safe" (in a primitive way) that you will rise up in a challenge.

one night stands are pointless and empty, i did it when i was young but I am completely against it now, it's good, means you're looking for something real

Link to comment
Share on other sites

what?!? you're single?!

well, let me give you my number.

 

haha. but in all seriousness, there are plenty of girls who would die for a guy like you. if i was single, i would! just keep positive. where are you finding girls to date, by the way.

 

*fights kaoticbaby for his number*

 

lol.

 

OP- don't worry. You seem like a great guy and you WILL find someone that appreciates your wonderful traits. Your attitude to sex is a really beautiful one and I, for one, wish more people had that attitude. You describe yourself as handsome, deep, and romantic....who wouldn't want someone like that?

 

Stay positive! You're going to make someone very happy someday!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've gotta agree with Kaoticbaby...

Here's my number!

 

If you're attractive I imagine you're attracting pretty girls and most of the time the really pretty girls just aren't interested in cuddling and being lovey-dovey. This may sound very stereotypical of me but I work at a bar and I've seen it time and time again. The really pretty girls go for the macho guys who would throw a punch if another guy hit on them and then take them home for all-night meaningless sex. You on the other hand want more. Perhaps you're not looking in the right places for a pretty girl who wants all of you, especially that mushy side. Also, being to mushy and cuddly scares some girls off. Starting from a young age alot of girls want to be protected and guarded like a princess of some sort and if you're cuddling with them all the time they may not feel that you're capable of providing that.

So be patient. Someone who wants every part of you will come along and cuddle with you all day, and feel SOOO blessed for having you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The minute they find out I write poetry, am generally more of a sensitive guy, or that I enjoy cuddling alot, etc. They desert me!

 

Well, do you write bad poetry? j/k

 

I feel you man. Not sure what advice to give as I often wonder about the same thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh okay... I may be different in this in the sense that no matter how sweet a guy is but if he can't have an intellectual conversation with me or unable to have an intellectual banter with me... I'd get bored. Poetry or no poetry, romantic or not...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dunno, but most of the girls I'm dating...they seem to want "flings", I mean, they want guys' who'll just have sex with them...I want a girl who'll stick with me!!! I mean, sex is good...but only if it's with someone you love!, I don't like one night stands, or random sex with just anyone...

 

Well, I'm assuming that you're rather young (I am too, don't get me wrong) and it's possible, probable actually, that you're just attracting the wrong type of girls. I know a lot of girls that just want to have fun and party and... just have sex too, but I promise there are girls out there who would really like to date a guy like you. Too many girls are caught up with the "Girls Gone Wild" type of lifestyle. I would suggest going for a different type of girl, and you will most definitely make her happy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Yeah, I agree with the above. School is so restricting if you're not in the 'right' cliques!

 

I think you sound absolutely brilliant. All you're lacking is self-confidence - accept yourself for who you are, love yourself for who you are and everyone else will follow. Make an effort to seem happy, fun and sociable too! You don't have to be the life of the party, just fun

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd say balance is the right word. It seems that Writing poetry, playing piano and even romantic gestures get old after a while. Most girls really want the protective kind and if they don't see enough of it they just leave(even if you let your guard down and feel down for a little while,like i did)

 

But you're not alone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...