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trust issues driving me crazy


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hey all, i posted on here about a week ago describing my situation...i won't go over it again but the short version is that I've been with my GF for nearly 5 years and around 2 years ago I made the massive mistake of cheating on her. She took me back which I'm so happy about however the trust issues are driving me nuts...so bad in fact that I wish she hadn't taken me back!

 

I knew that once I done what I done things would never be the same again, but I feel like it's been 2 years...maybe it's about time she showed some trust in me. One of my major concerns also is that she sees it fit to punish me constantly, particularly with words...she constantly breaks up with me and I end up apologising for the most stupid of things which really are the things that make me...ME! in the end we make up only to go around and around in this never ending cycle.

 

anyways today my friend bought a new phone, I added his number to my mobile and earlier when I was talking to my GF i let her know (just in passing conversation it came up)...she flipt and didn't believe it was my mates phone...she thought it was a girl (i'm not allowed to chat with girls...rule 1).....she forced me, over the phone, to give her my mates number (both of them) and she called him....and still didn't believe me cos he didnt pick up one of the numbers....!!!!

 

someone please give me something, some advice anything...it's doing my head in...

 

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sometimes....sometimes no. I mean it's easy for her to not trust me but she's put so many boundaries on me...and I'm the kind of person that will talk to everyone. You won't believe me but she even has her friends watching me at Uni...to make sure I don't hang around with girls (she goes to another Uni and a couple of her friends go to mine)...

 

the thing is she has loads of guy mates, many of them are gay but I know a few aren't...i trust her but I don't trust them.

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talking sounds good...except it always leads to arguments. I want to be able to do things that I always do, I'm okay with her not trusting me soooo much cos she's who she is, that's how she works but why does that mean I have to watch my back, be careful who I talk to and report in with everything I do like I'm in the frigging army!!!

 

It feels horrible, when ever I call her during the day all I hear is her laughing and joking with friends (guys guys guys), yet she even hates my new friends at Uni and without meeting them has already judged them to be bad influences on me....I know I act distant or seem rude at times, but how can she expect me not to when all I get is constant accusations and threats

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