So...I guess it's finally over

[Mguy92]

Alright...so I finally brought out the courage to ask the girl I like if she had a screenname. Her response was that she doesn't, and that she doesn't have "any of that stuff." I then said "Ah, not an internet person eh?" she said yeah, then I said I suppose that's a good thing and she slightly laughed...

 

*sigh*

 

So now the question is...where to go from here? Surely if she liked me, she would've said something like "nope, but I have a number." but she did not. Yes, I am disappointed, but in a way I'm also relieved at the fact that I won't constantly dwell on the idea that we'll be in a relationship anytime soon. No, I don't like any other girls other than her, and with that said, maybe I'm not quite ready yet. To my knowledge she won't be in any other of my classes after the semester ends. So unless something WAY out of the ordinary happens on Monday, time to move on...

[Bad Wolf]

Just ask her for her number

[Aviatormy]

So... I guess it's finally over

 

Nothing had started with this girl so how can it possibly be "over"? Look at it as "So... It has begun"

 

Alright...so I finally brought out the courage to ask the girl I like if she had a screenname.

 

So you have never talked to this girl before and your "pick-up" line was "do you have a screen name?"?

 

Perhaps that was not the best way to start talking to a girl. This can give her the impression that you live and breath through websites and that you are not outgoing/confident enough to just flat out talk to a girl.

 

Her response was that she doesn't, and that she doesn't have "any of that stuff." I then said "Ah, not an internet person eh?" she said yeah, then I said I suppose that's a good thing and she slightly laughed...

 

Ok that was a good recovery line but why did you stop at that point? She obviously did not strike an interest in that conversation so you should have started to talk to her about other things.

 

Whenever I am about to talk to a girl for the first time, I will do my homework a bit. If I am able to find something that I have in common with her before I talk to her, I am usually more successful.

 

It can be anything from a picture that she has on her desk at work, the drink she has in her hand, the clothes that she has on or even something simple like the place she is in at the moment. I.E. If she is at the same club that I am at, there is a common interest.

 

*sigh*

 

So now the question is...where to go from here? Surely if she liked me, she would've said something like "nope, but I have a number."

 

Surely if you think it is that easy to get all womens numbers, you are already behind in the game

 

The girl I am talking to now did not show a great deal of interest when I first started talking to her but after a few lines, I found something that we had in common and we hit it off right away. If a girl likes you, that does not mean that as soon as you say hello to them that they will fork out their digits. You should be happy that she was not so quick to give her number to you. That means that if you do end up with her, she will not be giving her number out to everyone and their mother.

 

but she did not. Yes, I am disappointed, but in a way I'm also relieved at the fact that I won't constantly dwell on the idea that we'll be in a relationship anytime soon.

 

You should not be dwelling on this in the first place. You should be more focused on obtaining a friendship with her first before you start counting down the days before you are in a relationship. What if she is not all what you thought she would be once you get to know her?

 

No, I don't like any other girls other than her, and with that said, maybe I'm not quite ready yet. To my knowledge she won't be in any other of my classes after the semester ends. So unless something WAY out of the ordinary happens on Monday, time to move on

 

So no offense but are you really willing to let an opportunity pass you by because of a failed pick up line? What if you used a more successful conversation starter and you really hit it off?

 

What I am saying is that it is obvious that you like this girl but you have only struck out once. Throw her another pitch and see if a conversation arises. She might just be shy. Sometimes I am blown away to find out that some of the girls I talk to are shy because they are so beautiful. Once I talk to them for a bit, I realize that they are just shy around me because they like me.

 

Don't give up so easy but try a much better pick up line than "So, do you wanna myspace me sometime?"

 

I bet you will do much better with a "hey, how is your day going? Excited for next semester?"

 

Since this is taking place at school (I assume), why don't you ask her what her major is. If she says something like drama then say "Wow, I admire your courage to be able to get in front of crowds and perform like that.... I have always wanted to be a rock star but I think that would be a little nerve wracking".

 

Show interest in her. There are far too few men out there that actually care about what a woman says.

 

Be different from all other guys. Talk to her, make her laugh. You will have her number in no time. Just do not think so much about a relationship. Think friendship first, the relationship part will happen if you two hit it off.

 

Good luck!

 

Andrew.

[Mguy92]

Oh no...I've talked to this girl before, since September. Thing is, Monday is the VERY last time I have to make an impression. What I need is a foolproof dialogue to use on her. I mean, I could ask how she keeps in touch with people, and if she answers phone, I'll ask if she would be interested to exchange phone numbers. The conversation initially started with me mentioning something about the class, then I jumped right in to asking her.

 

Yes...she does seem rather shy when not around her friends, but I catch her looking at me sometimes, and she even smiles at me on some occasions. She never strikes conversation with me though, which disappoints me greatly. I HATE mixed signals...I just want a definite answer, and that's it. What the hell do I have to do to get with her?

 

Egh...that last paragraph turned into a bit of a rant. When I catch her glancing at me on the way to the buses going home, I'll say "bye," and she will too sometimes, which is good. Other times, it's EXTREMELY quiet. If she truly is a "shy girl," what do I have to do to have her take the hint that I like her? If she said she didn't have any online way of contact, I don't see her being willing to hand her number over to me.

 

Also, I have asked her if she's looking forward to next semester, and she said she didn't really care.

[Aviatormy]

Oh no...I've talked to this girl before, since September. Thing is, Monday is the VERY last time I have to make an impression. What I need is a foolproof dialogue to use on her. I mean, I could ask how she keeps in touch with people, and if she answers phone, I'll ask if she would be interested to exchange phone numbers. The conversation initially started with me mentioning something about the class, then I jumped right in to asking her.

 

Ok well first pointer I can offer you is to never ASK a girl for a phone number. Just bring it up in a non-threatening way. Talk to her on Monday and say something like "Wow, that semester went by quick huh?" "So I would like to see you again before next semester... What's your number?"

 

Just pull your phone out as you say that.

 

Yes...she does seem rather shy when not around her friends, but I catch her looking at me sometimes, and she even smiles at me on some occasions. She never strikes conversation with me though, which disappoints me greatly. I HATE mixed signals...I just want a definite answer, and that's it. What the hell do I have to do to get with her?

 

Well my friend, we will never get a definate answer unless we ask a definate question. Don't you think that she might actually like you and thought that you sent her a mixed signal? When you asked her if she had a screen name and she said she does not have any of that stuff, she may have still wanted to talk to you but thought that you were turned off because she didn't have one.

 

Women like a little persistance. As a man, I know I like a woman to be persistent with me as well. She may actually know you like her but needs you to flat out ask for her number because she is too shy to just give it to you.

 

Egh...that last paragraph turned into a bit of a rant. When I catch her glancing at me on the way to the buses going home, I'll say "bye," and she will too sometimes, which is good. Other times, it's EXTREMELY quiet. If she truly is a "shy girl," what do I have to do to have her take the hint that I like her? If she said she didn't have any online way of contact, I don't see her being willing to hand her number over to me.

 

That's easy... Just don't hint to her... TELL her you like her by asking for her number. Once she gives it to you (which I am sure she will), call her that night, talk to her just long enough to get her interest and then invite her to go get a treat from starbucks or something then..... let the conversation begin! I have always loved that first conversation because there is SO MUCH to talk about. Just remember... it's ok to tease and have fun when you talk to her.

 

Also, I have asked her if she's looking forward to next semester, and she said she didn't really care

 

Then ask her why she doesn't care. Say something like "having a hard time figuring out your major or are your teachers lame like mine".

 

For every response she gives you, there is always a way to turn the conversation into something positive. You also could have laughed a bit when she said this, gave her a wink and said "Good cause I didn't really want to talk about school anyways

[Mguy92]

Let me just ask to clarify something on the matter of numbers...

 

Now, do you mean CELL numbers, or HOME phone numbers? To be honest, I don't use my cellphone at all, let alone even know the number to it. Would just asking for any number suffice, or does it have to be one in specific?

[Mguy92]

...I'll go ahead and assume either.

[FloatingAnchor]

I guess whichever one you can be more easily reached at, preferably with voicemail capability.

[Phaser]

whichever one she gives you

[Mguy92]

Argh....I'm so goddamn worried about tomorrow

 

What if she says no? I would've wasted a good two months dwelling on liking her. Damnit...agh...these damn signs....I have to go through with this though. It's now or ever...

[Roberto34]

If she says "no," at least you have your answer.

 

If you don't bother to ask for that number, then you'll be regretting it more than hearing a no and "wasting" 2 months.

 

I think the best thing is what Andrew told you to do about the "Wow, this semester went by so fast...I'd like to see you before the next one starts...what's your number?" all while pulling out your cell phone casually in the process.

 

Just smile when you say it, and it'll help put you and her at ease. If she doesn't give it to you, then to be honest, oh well. You have your answer right there.

 

Like you said, it's now or never. I had to do it, but I feel better knowing that at least I tried instead of sitting there and wondering.

 

Best of luck, and you can do it!!

[Mguy92]

I just couldn't do it. There were no signs at all that she wanted me to approach her today, so I didn't. With that said, I don't think I'm ready to try and get into a serious relationship at this point in time. But hey...I'm still young, and will be turning 16 in about a month, so I have plenty of time ahead of me. Perhaps another opportunity will arise with the same girl in the future. As they say, only time will tell...

[Roberto34]

Wow, you're only 15?? I thought you were in College.

 

Yeah, you've got PLENTY of time. No rush, man.

[SmoothRide]

I just couldn't do it. There were no signs at all that she wanted me to approach her today, so I didn't. With that said, I don't think I'm ready to try and get into a serious relationship at this point in time. But hey...I'm still young, and will be turning 16 in about a month, so I have plenty of time ahead of me. Perhaps another opportunity will arise with the same girl in the future. As they say, only time will tell...

 

It's good that you can be casual about it as it really is no big deal. However I would like to offer one piece of advice. Don't get too comfortable with the fact that you're young. You're precisely at an age when you should be learning how to approach girls not just by thinking about it, but also by doing. You can fumble and fail with girls in the worst possible ways right now precisely because you're 16. If you think that this will get easier when you're 18, 20 or 25, well, it won't. Your mind is at its most plastic right now and you have a greater capacity to learn than you'll ever have. Use this time to get experience because you're not going to get another chance.

 

As time goes by and you remain passive, you're going to get more and more frustrated that you cannot get a girlfriend and it will make you jaded. You will see guys around you, including your friends, start dating and forming relationships, then getting married and starting families. It will all move very quickly. A few years down the road you're no longer going to be a young guy who tries to get a girl - you'll be a weird older guy who doesn't have a clue. Shy guys, unfortunately, often fall into this category.

 

My advice for you is to start doing something about it right now. I am 25 now and I was in the same boat as you. I never made a move on girls I liked in my teenage years because it seemed so scary so I always put it off. I thought that surely it would all fall into place on its own. Well, it didn't. And browsing shyness related websites tells me that for most shy guys it doesn't "work itself out" either. Many times I was given the advice that I am a young guy who's going places and I shouldn't worry too much about getting a girlfriend right this moment. Guess what - you can go your entire life this way and people will always tell you that; until you become old and all those "wise" sages will act incredulous and wonder: how come you don't have a girlfriend/wife/family at your age? Personally I would like to seek out all of the people who gave me that kind of advice and punch them square in the face.

 

To end it on a lighter note. I've had 4 dates in the past 3 weeks. That's pretty good for me and I have a couple of prospects for a soon-to-be-girlfriend. I have also had a couple of relationships in the past year. That's only because I've pulled myself by the bootstraps and started working very hard on myself. It wasn't easy though, it still isn't, and the regret that I have is that I haven't started the process sooner. Hence I am trying to pass some of this painfully acquired wisdom to someone like you who can still get a head start.

[sns256]

I agree with this 100%. I have been telling myself for years that it will eventually happen and I will grow out of my shyness. Others around me have also told me not to worry I am still young. Guess what, waiting and not worrying about it doesn’t work. In fact I would say I have gotten far worse the older I get without getting a girlfriend, or even a date.

 

I was telling someone else in another thread that they shouldn’t tell people that they are young and will find someone. It doesn’t happen like that, you can easily wait your whole life waiting. I finally realized this at the end of August. It sucks trying to work at this stuff now when I am 22, with the mindset and knowledge of a 14-15 year old. Waiting because you are young is not a good idea.

 

Mguy92 I realize that you are in fact young but you really need overcome your issues now. Don’t wait around; it only gets harder as time goes by. You life will be better off if you nip this issue in the butt now rather than later. Take small steps in overcoming your shyness, you won’t change overnight. Certainly don’t pressure yourself to hit a home run on your first try. It sounds like you are off to a good start. Just don’t listen to the people that say you are young and shouldn’t worry about it. Keep working hard and improving yourself and I am sure it won’t take long before you get that date. Just please don’t sit on your butt and wait it out like I did.

 

I wish someone would have told me this when I was your age. My life may have been very different than it is now. I can’t end on a positive note like SmoothRide did. I have no prospects of getting girlfriend in any foreseeable future. I am working hard on myself and am seeing slow but good improvements. Hopefully with enough hard work one day I’ll get that date, and perhaps a girlfriend. But that day is a very long way away because I decided to wait it out all those years ago. Good luck Mguy92.

[Mguy92]

Egh...well, the way I see it, with my shyness, I can't make a girl like me. If an attractive girl starts showing signs, then I may try to develop something. In the meantime, I'm way too shy to approach many females. Hopefully one will approach me soon; preferably the one I currently like (although, it's pointless to continue liking her if she will no longer be in any of my classes...) but we'll see...