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nova15

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Signs she is not faithful
Signs she is not faithful

I'm in an awesome relationship with my girl. For starters its long distance but we've made it 6 months and i love her so much although haven't told her yet. I feel for her nothing i've ever felt for anyone else, i would do anything for her. I'm 25 and have had a few girlfriends - I've never cheated in my life but something happened last night that has totally rocked me. I get drunk quite easily, I was at a party last night with friends, I was not there looking to flirt and did not engage in any untoward behaviour until this happened.. I was feeling pretty inebriated so around 2am I slumped on a couch while my friends danced and music pumped through the room.. I was drunk, and sleepy. A girl who I could tell earlier was trying to flirt with me came and sat down quite close next to me and pulled the blanket i was using over herself also. Then i remember she started touching my arm and leg etc.. she eventually made her way to inappropriate places and was all out groping me.. even though in my mind i remember thinking stop this now, for some reason i didn't push her off.. there were people all around oblivious to what was going on.. i even remember at one point touching her a little... it lasted about 15 min then i pushed her off feeling mega guilty, grabbed my stuff and got the hell out of there with some super regret. There was no kissing, no talking, just the groping which was initiated by her.

 

I don't know what to do, I feel like crap. I don't think I should tell my gf as I wouldn't be telling her because she needs to know, i'd be doing it for my benefit to feel better.. i know she would be so upset and she doesn't deserve that. What does everyone else think, anyone had a similar situation? I've never cheated in my life and feel like dirt.

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Although I agree that honesty is the best policy...it would hurt her and could end the relationship.

 

The two ideas you just expressed are mutually exclusive. The more you care about someone the more you want what's best for them and you must be able to admit that what's best for them may not be you.

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The two ideas you just expressed are mutually exclusive. The more you care about someone the more you want what's best for them and you must be able to admit that what's best for them may not be you.

 

I can see your point.

 

Would it always be best for the other person though?

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Thank you guys, some very down to earth replies. Trust is a hard thing to build and maintain in a long distance relationship and i think something like this could really shake the foundations. I really feel terrible about it, i feel like i never want to drink again.

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i would want to know. i would not be mad at my s/o but i would be glad to know if something like this had happened to him. what if she was the one who was drunk and it happened to her? would you want to know? i don't think it's good to pretend like nothing happened.

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You're right, I'd never know the exact cause but I'd sure notice that he is now acting guilty, distant, and guarded. I swear men never learn.

 

THAT is why I said...don't screw up in the first place.

 

Women are much smarter in relationships in then men....so guess who usually loses?

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Let's not over-react here. It was a little bit of groping under a blanket, it wasn't initiated by the OP and he stopped it before it went as far as sexual intercourse.

 

Let it go.

 

Nova15 - is this an internet relationship and have you actually met in person?

 

And if you love her - why haven't you told her?

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THAT is why I said...don't screw up in the first place.

 

Women are much smarter in relationships in then men....so guess who usually loses?

 

Remember the person who started this topic has already been in a compromising position. No matter how badly he wishes it never happenned, it already has and he can't take it back.

 

There is no win/lose, there is win/win and lose/lose.

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Remember the person who started this topic has already been in a compromising position. No matter how badly he wishes it never happenned, it already has and he can't take it back.

 

There is no win/lose, there is win/win and lose/lose.

 

I defer to you. I know when I'm out reasoned.

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I defer to you. I know when I'm out reasoned.

 

I'm not trying to be right, I'm trying to help people understand human relations.

 

When you look a little bit more closely at the "I just don't want to hurt her for no reason excuse" it starts to look a lot like "I really don't want to face the reprocussions for my actions now or later".

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I'm not trying to be right, I'm trying to help people understand human relations.

 

When you look a little bit more closely at the "I just don't want to hurt her for no reason excuse" it starts to look a lot like "I really don't want to face the reprocussions for my actions now or later".

 

Oh I understand. I think that I AM right. But I respect your opinion.

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