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Glad To Be Going To Work Tonight...


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I rarely ever feel happy to be heading to work. Tonight though its different. Tonight I am glad to be going because I am stressed and just want out of the apartment and away from my boyfriend.


My work is stocking shelves but at least I will be on my feet and can take my mind off of home life.


Today I was not in a great mood to begin with because I woke up with bad cramps. I feel ok now at least... Its not just that though my days off are Saturday/Sunday night. My boyfriend had Monday - Wednesday off and just went back to work today. Well that is all fine and well. However on my days off I did a major cleaning and left the dishes for him because there were not a lot to do. He said he would do them one of his days off. Well guess what, that never happened.


The biggest problem we seem to have is keeping the apartment clean. I do not want to live in filth... I mean come on, seriously? thats gross. Thing is we both are working and its only fair we both clean. And currently I am getting more hours then him... I am mad because now there is nearly every dish dirty... Sick is full, left side of counter top, stove an even coffee table... Its disgusting. I always ask him to please take his dishes off his computer desk but they just sit there, ugh... Its fustrating. I was going to leave him a while back because of this. It was bad then and now probably worse. Sometimes I get lazy and let cleaning slid but I clean way more than he has had to in the past 2 years of me living here. Its annoying.


So I can say tonight at work I should feel kind of better or worse, who knows... I know my days off I will be the one cleaning again, dishes too other wise there will be nothing to eat off of.


Sharing this because its an annoyance and not sure how the rest of you feel but it can be one of those issues IMO that ends a relationship. This weekend I will probably talk to him about it, because it is affecting my feelings for him and leaving stress on me. Sorry for the rant, I gotta get going to work though. Feel free to reply with advice or whatever. Nite...

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Well change I guess....


What I really want though is for him to be more resposible. I don't see it as fair that I do most of the cleaning on my own... He ussually only cleans if I bug him to. Which is not often.


This is how I look at it though... Before I moved into his apartment he had lived here with his ex girlfriend for like 6 months (then they broke up) then he lived alone for like a year a think or close to one. Then I came along and eventually moved in. Before I moved in his kitchen, bathroom and sometimes living room were the only decently looking rooms. I took it as my own project one day to clean every room in the apartment. Of course they all got messy again, but I didn't want to live that way.


From time to time we both did chores and for a while he cooked and I cleaned. Then when I learned how to cook things were suppose to change or so I thought. We both work now so why should I have to clean everything? If I don't who will? Last night at like 3am we were in bed talking and I told him we should both be a bit more responsible. So when I tried talking with him I did not throw all the blame on him. It is both of our faults. I told him I did not want to do all the cleaning alone, since we both dirty the dishes and such. And we both live, eat, sleep and breath here and split the bills...


He apoligized and that was it. So I don't know what is going to come of this. Somedays I do not care, but seriously nearly everyday me doing all the cleaning is not fair. Before when I was unemployed I did not complain because he was paying the bills mostly alone. Besides my temp job will end Dec 24th (unless they keep me) So after that I will probably do most of the cleaning...

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I think couples focus too much on who should be doing the work. My suggestion is to eliminate the work entirely. Keep cleaning to about an hour or two a week. Trick is to work together, and make certain not to create a mess that needs cleaning. That is where I would focus your energies. When you are living with other people, I find it works best if you just create your own space. Separate your things from his. Good habits can be learned and can free up mounds of time. Take the kitchen as an example:


Buy really sturdy paper platters and tupperware to eat off of (cheap and even reusable sometimes). Keep plastic cups onhand to drink out of. Keep only the utensils that you need (hint you probably don't need 10 forks and a dozen knives). If you cook something that dirties a skillet or pot, take the 40 seconds to clean it off and put it back where it came from before you eat. Take another 30 seconds to clean the counter and throw stuff out. Get a big plastic laundry basket that holds a 30 or 39 gallon trash sack. Make sure all trash gets in there. The whole idea is to make cleaning simple and to make absolutely certain you don't spend more than a few minutes doing it. If you two can manage that, who cares who actually does the work. It becomes trivial, but it is the habits that have to change.

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