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Still on my mind! Still confused!


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OK. I've been without my ex now for 3 weeks exactly. Stayed NC for 17 days, before she emailed me saying she was going to ask me how i was but was being snidey on my facebook page. I was not being snidey! But its now been four days since i found out she IS seeing the guy that she dumped me for. Its her boss, 28yrs old (shes 20), doesnt drive (she does), bar manager (alcoholics job), but i know nothing about him other than that! Dont no what he looks like, nothing! I still care about my ex as we new each other LONG before we started going out. We have been best friends for 4 years! We went out for 2.5 years, and now she dumps me for another guy. I am starting to believe that she is a little * * * * * . I still love her dearly and want to be back with her, but i would never have guessed she was capable of such a thing as she always showed her love for me! Always! She was never a particularly sexual person, but this didnt bother me as i loved her so much. But this has seriously made me doubt that there is a girl out there who I can trust fully, because i seriously thought she was trustworthy! I am keeping busy with coursework and work. Driving lessons, keeping in shape, going out with other friends. But when im alone i think about this. We had a near perfect relationship. Everything we did was amazing. We never disagreed. We argued a good few times but what couple doesnt?? She gave me the excuse that she wasn't excited by our relationship anymore. She felt comfortable with me so she wasn't excited anymore. I thought thats what true love was!! So shes gone off with an older guy. Excitement. Its a shame because i really felt at home with her. Felt we went well together and everyone else said that too! But shes been a heartless little girl, crush on her boss! With him now. Seriously i hope she gets what she deserves! Does anyone think that i am doing ok?? Thinking about it most of the time but trying to stay optimistic?? She hasnt phoned, texted, or anything. She said she didnt miss me when i broke NC 4 days ago. Does anyone think im doing better than i think i am?? Because i did say i would be there for her when she really needed me! Wish i hadnt said that now. Just want her to admit she made a mistake! But i wont take her back. Just want the pleasure of seeing her in as much pain as she has put me through. It sounds cynical but thats how i feel. Any advice??

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I dont deep down, but i want her to see and realise what she has done to me. I wont be happy until i get another girl, which will be hard. Or if she tells me she made a mistake, and realises the grass isnt greener on the other side. She's punishing me for no reason. Shes actually going to somewhere this monday night where I always go on a monday. She never went there when she was with me, but now shes going there. And she damn well knows i will be there. I dont wanna see her because ill feel sick looking at her. But also want to go to show her im moving on! I duno what to do!!

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Johnny I feel like you and I are on the exact same page. My ex bf told me he didnt love me anymore, didnt want a relationship with me anymore, out of nowhere. I think now it was because he wasn't as excited, as we were together for 2 years, he's started a new job and I believe he left me for infatuation of a co-worker. Like you, I was content with where we were because it felt like True Love. True, undeniable, fulfilling, disgustingly perfect love.

This has been the hardest month of my life. I've been NC for I think almost 3 weeks, I'm not keeping count, and everyday seems harder, so I know how you feel. My relationship was seemingly perfect as well, no fighting, like you said maybe 4 real arguments over stupid things, everything was always FUN. All the feelings you speak of I completely relate to.

I want my ex to wake up and realize he made a mistake too, but the only way I'm able to cope is if I just keep telling myself that he never will. We can't set ourselves up for disappointment anymore. I want to see him going through pain, it would be so satisfying if he felt 1/10th of the painful emotions that I am, but it just isn't that way. At least I don't think it is. It's easy for them to hide their emotions because they have found, like you said, excitement in someone else. I think Robert013 is right when he says "Of course she doesn't miss you yet, its only been 3 weeks." She probably will one day, and my ex probably will one day, but chances are we won't be around for them anymore. I also told my ex that I would be here for him no matter what...I think it's just something we say to hold onto them in the only way we can. I'm not sure I'd be there for him now though, as he has basically abandoned me.

As for her going out to your Monday night spot... that is * * * * ty. If she never went there with you before, and is all of a sudden going now, then in my opinion it's safe to say she's trying to make it harder for you to let go. She is selfish, does not want you to let go. If you really wanna show her you're moving on, don't show up. It might seem like you're avoiding her, too scared to see her, etc., but she EXPECTS you to be there. If you don't go it will be a total slap in the face, I promise, it's happened to me.

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Thanks darlin. Suppose it makes it easier to know others are going thru something similar. But ive felt good today. Better. Still miss her dearly but ive changed my fashion sense, started working out more, chatting to some new people, but most of all, started my driving lessons and concentrating on college a lot more. So yeah i miss her so so much and want to be with her. But ive also seen a LOT more of my family. So things are looking up. Just wanna get away from this new hurdle tomoro night

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I dont deep down, but i want her to see and realise what she has done to me. I wont be happy until i get another girl, which will be hard. Or if she tells me she made a mistake, and realises the grass isnt greener on the other side. She's punishing me for no reason. Shes actually going to somewhere this monday night where I always go on a monday. She never went there when she was with me, but now shes going there. And she damn well knows i will be there. I dont wanna see her because ill feel sick looking at her. But also want to go to show her im moving on! I duno what to do!!

 

Um, what she has done to you? Come on man, pick yourself up. Stop playing the victim here. I know how you feel, I still argue with myself. I feel like the victim, but I can't sit here and pray that she will realize her mistake. I'm putting too much focus on her. She doesn't matter anymore.

 

Focus on healing and really moving on. Not pretending to move on. Do what's best for you. Right now, it seems staying away and not seeing her will be best for you. She won't ever realize her mistake and you should accept that. You need to let what she did stop affecting you. Take your healing into your own hands and work hard at it. Let it go...

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I am the victim here pushforward. I didnt do anything to deserve this. She just felt the relationship was no longer exciting. And she found excitement with another guy who is considerably older than her and her boss! So yeah i do believe that she made a mistake as she told me herself i did absolutely nothing wrong. She wont see it that way right now though. Im not thinking about getting back with her. Im not thinking about seeing her at all. I will avoid her as i dont want my feelings for her to come back. She's still young, so am I. We shouldnt be tied down to a relationship at our age. Which is why i can only see my life getting better, and hers getting worse. As im already at rock bottom, so it can only get better, and hers is sky high meaning it can only get worse. Im looking at things positively. Yes is still miss her, and yes i do love her, but am i still IN love with her???? I dont know. Im not expecting a call saying 'oh im so sorry. I made a mistake'. Not now anyway. No one knows what the future holds. She obviously cant bear the idea of being alone. Otherwise she would never have dumped me if this guy didnt like her too. So i dont know what will happen. All i know is that i am moving on, having fun, making new friends, and trying my hardest to forget about her. It will take a good few more weeks but as long as i dont stray and chat to her, or see her, i will be fine. Im starting to see the finer things in life now.

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