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Where do i go from here.......


jonpf

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So, my ex finished with me 2 months ago. I took it really hard and I was a real mess (I'm still pretty messed up over the whole thing). Anyway, I was unable to start the healing process 2 months ago as we worked together quite closely. She was recently made redundant and finished work last friday. On friday we went for lunch and I told her how I felt about her and about the hope I still held that we could work things out, but said that I needed space and time to get over her, finishing by saying that one day maybe we could be friends, but certainly not right now....

 

We had not been getting on well at all at work after the split and she gave me every indication that once she left last week that I wouldn't hear from her....I felt really sad, but at the same time a sense of relief came over me as I knew that after 2 months I could finally start the healing process......

 

Low and behold, the next day I get a text from her asking if I was OK. The thing is I really miss her and just cant ignore her, so when she texts me, I text back.....I don't initiate it, I just can't help myself when she texts me.....So the situation is that nearly a week later and we've communicated every day......

 

I wish I knew what she wanted from me....

 

How do I resist the temptation to respond? I don't want her to think that I've just forgotten about her.....

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I wish I knew what she wanted from me....How do I resist the temptation to respond? I don't want her to think that I've just forgotten about her.....

 

You don't owe her anything after what she did to you... It's easy tap into a bit of anger and pride and ignore her. Look at what she did to you she doesn't deserve you thinking of her or caring for her.

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Hi Jon

 

You said in a previous post that she relies on you for emotional support yet you get nothing back. That is pretty much what is going on here - she is using you to get over you without any benefits to you. If she is putting x's at the end of her messages and such like then it is just going to do your head in.

 

You have to make a stand here if you want to get your head back on straight. You have to put a stop to those messages. Don't worry - she won't forget you and in any case, she broke up with you so it really shouldn't matter.

 

Mate - you have to be strong, for your own sanity. Either ignore her textx and she will get bored and leave you alone, or tell her that you would rather she not contact you any more.

 

You are the only one who can put a stop to this. Come back on here if you feel weak or low. Why not try the 30 day challenge to give yourself a bit of space to beathe?

 

It will be worth it in the long run.

 

Mark

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I have to agree with Clabs on this one. It sounds unfortunate that she is keeping you on the string when she knows you are hurting this much. I am sorry that you are going through this and you can come here to vent and such.

 

You really should go NC to give yourself a emotional rest and to help you cope with the pain that you are going through. It isn't really fair that she has to check up on you to make sure you are OK when she knows you are not. I would just go NC and see where it goes from there. Good luck.

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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