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confused, upset...please help me


megasgirl
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hi everyone... i really appreciate any words of help.

okay. i am in my last year of HS and met a guy 4 years older than me at a club about 6 weeks ago. i like him a lot and am seriously physically attracted to him. the big problem i'm having is that he lives almost 2 hours away, cant drive to see me, is generally unavailable, doesnt call back on tyme..you get the idea. i also feel that he imagines the worst in me... like since i party a lot with my friends, i'd be a bad girlfriend, etc. he's never outright announced a problem with what i do, but has made it clear it makes me less "valuable" to him (this is the impression that i get). i feel that since we live so far apart, and have both made clear we want to be together in some propensity, he should make a greater effort to communicate with me and be available. last night i saw him for the first time after 5 weeks. i was SO excited. we both drank and i got way more drunk than i bargained for. i hardly have any recollection of what happened, and i'm in knots worrying about what i said/did (some things i do remember i'm quite embrassed about). i think that we did talk a bit about our relationship "status", but i was so drunk i hardly remember a thing.

this whole situation is making me very upset. i feel i have a guy who i madly want to be with, but cant get close to. i'm contending with a huge distance issue, as well as the fact i feel he has a somewhat bad impression of me for whatever reason and i did NOTHING to help that last night... i called him this morning and spoke to him briefly about it..his feathers didnt seem too ruffled, but then again he's pretty unflappable. i badly want to make this work, and if any of you wonderful people can offer me some words of wisdom...i would be SO SO greatful. i really would.

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Hi megasgirl,

 

I have a question, actually ... how come that you like this guy so much? Looks are good, sure, but it's really the inside that matters in the end! What really matters is: "How does he treat you?" "Does he tell you he loves you?" "Is he there for you, when you need him?"

 

I am not sure about all this. To me this situation looks really weird and that's why I suggest you to be very careful with your heart here and giving it all out to him. I am just not really sure if this is the guy you are really looking for. It really looks like that you would like to meet a guy that cares more for you.

 

I hope my two cents helped you somewhat... good luck!!

 

~ SwingFox ~

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"why do i like him" is a good question, and is part of whats bothering me so much. the problem is that on PAPER he's 90% of everything i want in a guy. in reality, he doesnt come close to that. i am in love with the idea of him. whats so stressful for me here is that i'm sweating a guy so much who i RECOGNIZE is probably not the best choice for me. i think basically i'm set on believing he's this great, perfect guy who will really enhance my life. my problem comes from the fact i have myself wearing blinders, stressing over someone who's not really there for me... physically, and also i think emotionally. i think i need help getting over my infatuation and evaluating the situation with a more clear head.

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Hi,

 

I wanted to come back to this reply. I think you ARE actually thinking very clear. I believe that you ARE level-headed, in fact, you seem to do GREAT!!

 

You DO recognize your situation, which is a good thing. My suggestion is to keep yourself preoccupied with other things, like going out, hang out with your friends and other activities. I hope that helps you clearing your mind further and backing away from him.

 

Good luck again!!

 

~ SwingFox ~

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