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kind of missing her...


cb663

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i feel very immature and broken down i guess i never let people get to me even friends. if someone bothers me i just write them off. somehow this girl was able to make me feel something. something i never felt before. love? i dont know. i dont like it. whatever it was/is it made me do things i never would do. i dont know right now, im sure all of you feel this way sometimes. i started to pick up the phone but decided against it. i guess im just venting, hope you dont mind because i dont want to call her. its probably stupid to want to reconcile with her but part of me wants to, and i know right now calling her is going to ruin that. the last time i talked to her other then last week was about a month ago, and it wasnt nice. she basically told me to F off so i did. then out of nowhere she texts me asking me how my dog is. so i did what i felt was right which was answer her question and i said "He's doing good". i didnt ask her about anything in her life or share anything else. i answered her question and went about my business. since then she hasnt said anything. maybe she responded and i didnt get it we had problems like that in the past. however im not going to contact her again, she knows full well that it was an issue and if she's really that concerned she can write me on myspace or something. this sucks, i never have gotten confused over a girl. i saw/dated girls way longer then i was around this girl for, so i never thought i'd have any problems. i never have issues writing people off that screw me over. im confused and wish i would not feel like this. i am so up and down. one minute i dont even think about her then the next im like what the hell happened.

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we had a rough bit for about a month, then we started talking again and it was a little weird, she'd be texting me then just ignore it. so finally i ask her "if you dont want to talk, thats ok, i really dont want to waste my time if thats what this is."

i know my faults i, i got too attached but i told her sorry, and explained it and everything thats all i could do. i didnt deserve any of her crap. and then for some reason she hits me up asking about my dog? I dont get it.

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Lol, Cb663, do we both know the same girl? Mine cut me off completely--for no reason at all, when I was having an operation, and I needed someone to have at my side more than anything--but she cheated on me three times at least. I am still getting over her for some reason, but I don't know if it was because she was especially attractive, or because I got too attached myself. She said I was too attached, but what can I say? I was lonely, I just moved to a big city, and knew no one here. but what sealed the deal was I needed to talk to her more than anything about something, and she basically told me to * * * * off, just like that. I found that especially cruel, and still don't know what to make of it.

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my situation is so effed up its kind of hard to explain it with out the whole story and i dont want to post the whole thing. i was the one that ended it initially. really i dont even know what to call it. we werent official which was the problem. but we werent friends either. all i can say is this girl is beyond lucky im not into hitting girls or flipping out on them. i honestly think that is what i was gonna do to her. and i havent. i havent even called her any kind of mean names. maybe she'll grow up and realize that when i opened up to her i was being real cuz im not a b/s guy. i think she took what i said to mean that she can do whatever she wants. and i will be here just praying for some attention. first girl ive had any heartache over. the worst is over. i still dont understand what her reasons are for texting me about my dog. just to clarify, im not reading into anything she texted me. i took it as she was asking about my dog, not to mean "oh wow she really cares!". i honestly was going to text her something along the lines of "he's doing great now that a game playing c-u-n-t isnt around anymore" but i didnt.

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You guys aren't being very respectful right now. She was wrong, but you shouldn't use those words, they're terrible. Guys do the same thing to women, to. I had a guy do the same crap to me.

 

In any case, sometimes clingy is a bad thing. I dated a guy for a week and I felt like he was getting wayyyyyy too attached and I told him I just wanted to be friends. I had to cut it off cuz he just wasn't getting it. But I dn't think thats the situation here.

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really i dont even know what to call it. we werent official which was the problem. but we werent friends either.

 

wow, same here. and she took that whole "nonofficial" thing to mean she could mess with any guy or girl she wanted to. and when I asked her why she did that despite her supposed love for me...she said it was because the first time we broke up (but I thought we weren't going out!?!?!) she felt different about me, but if we never fought like that, she'd never have done that I don't understand, but all I know is I'm so sick of being in pain over this girl. it's been three months now. I wish I knew that somewhere down the line, I'd meet another beautiful, smart, kooky girl like her...sans the cheating and b-itch-iness, you know?

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You guys aren't being very respectful right now. She was wrong, but you shouldn't use those words, they're terrible. Guys do the same thing to women, to. I had a guy do the same crap to me.

 

In any case, sometimes clingy is a bad thing. I dated a guy for a week and I felt like he was getting wayyyyyy too attached and I told him I just wanted to be friends. I had to cut it off cuz he just wasn't getting it. But I dn't think thats the situation here.

i didnt send it. i simply said "he's doing good" because thats the right thing to do. i had thought about asking her how she was but i decided against it.

and you are right. we had hung out as friends for about 2 months and then things started moving the direction of a relationship. texting everyday and phone calls. hanging out about 3 or 4 times a week. it really wasnt one sided at all. she was initiating contact alot. so was i, it was both ways. i honestly can say that even thought things didnt work out, she put alot into it. i guess even after a couple years she's still not over her ex. i guess i dont blame her. but i asked her early on, is this going anywhere. i told her i understand if she doesnt want to go forward just yet, but i dont want to waste my time. i didnt want it all to be pointless in the end. i knew i should of just backed way off but i honestly felt something between me and her.

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Look, relationships are supposed to benefit your life, not make you ask all sort of heart wrenching questions. They benefit your life, not make it harder. If its not easy, then let it go. These women are giving you the run around with your heart and soon you won't have a heart to offer any woman, even a nice good woman who won't do this to you. Let them go, its obvious. If you become emotionally attached to a woman, its hard to detach yourself, but with NC and time you can do it. Heal yourself by doing things you enjoy and givingyourself time to grieve over her.

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i didnt want it all to be pointless in the end. i knew i should of just backed way off but i honestly felt something between me and her.

 

Yet again, I knew of plenty warning signs (she identified as a lesbian, though she "liked" me, she once through me out of the house for playfully hitting her on the butt, wouldn't ever admit her love for me in public, etc.) I just ignored them. never again will that happen, trust me!

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wow, same here. and she took that whole "nonofficial" thing to mean she could mess with any guy or girl she wanted to. and when I asked her why she did that despite her supposed love for me...she said it was because the first time we broke up (but I thought we weren't going out!?!?!) she felt different about me, but if we never fought like that, she'd never have done that I don't understand, but all I know is I'm so sick of being in pain over this girl. it's been three months now. I wish I knew that somewhere down the line, I'd meet another beautiful, smart, kooky girl like her...sans the cheating and b-itch-iness, you know?
i hear that. after the first couple times we had sex, i talked to her, asked her what was going on. she said she didnt want anything right now. well, about a month after that i was like ok this is enough, i again bring up what is going on. now keep in mind i talked to her a few weeks before and she had said "Im not really looking for a relationship right now". anyway, she said to me "no its not going to work, i already tried it" i was like what? i was under the impression u didnt want anything and she said "we slept together, we were hanging out all the time are you going to try and say that were still just friends?"

i was beside myself. even more so, BECAUSE NOTHING EVEN CHANGED BETWEEN US. we kept having sex quite often. well i ended it because she didnt give me a straight answer as to why she didnt answer her phone when she was over friends house. she called me 5 days later, and i went over (big mistake) THEN GOT MAD, THINKING I WAS USING HER TO HAVE SEX. do you see the same problem? she literally would change her mind on things to suite the situation. why i am still confused over this girl i dont know. i really honestly felt a deep connection with her when things were good. i wish we could work it out i dont know how to go about doing that though

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Look, relationships are supposed to benefit your life, not make you ask all sort of heart wrenching questions. They benefit your life, not make it harder. If its not easy, then let it go. These women are giving you the run around with your heart and soon you won't have a heart to offer any woman, even a nice good woman who won't do this to you. Let them go, its obvious. If you become emotionally attached to a woman, its hard to detach yourself, but with NC and time you can do it. Heal yourself by doing things you enjoy and givingyourself time to grieve over her.

well i did. i went a month of NC. she contacted me, then didnt say anything. i dont get it. and as far as me not having a heart. well, before her i didnt know i had one. i've been threw alot in life and learned not to trust or get attached. i've always felt cold inside. my friends say my quote is "I dont give a * * * * " because usually thats what i have to say about most things. i never knew what love felt like and the idea of love was a joke to me. i dated girls and would never feel an ounce of emotion for them. i wasnt a jerk though, never cheated, just did not care. so i guess going into all this i should of seen the warning signs, but i honestly didnt think i would be hurt. i was so wrong. now im more confused then i ever could of thought. i didnt think i had any kind of love in me and i do, somehow this girl found it. and then ripped it apart.

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No, I think you've made poor decisions. If you like a woman, have enough respect for yourself and her to not be in an FWB. The women have done wrong things to you, but its almost as if you ask for it and then blame all women later.

 

There are good people out there but you're too bitter against women to even come close to a nice girl.

 

I had a guy who wanted to make me an FWB...its a hurtful, untrustworthy situation...I fell in love with him. I got him out of my life and later met a wonderful man who does leaps in comparison to that pathetic piece of trash that tried to make me an FWB.

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No, I think you've made poor decisions. If you like a woman, have enough respect for yourself and her to not be in an FWB. The women have done wrong things to you, but its almost as if you ask for it and then blame all women later.

 

There are good people out there but you're too bitter against women to even come close to a nice girl.

 

I had a guy who wanted to make me an FWB...its a hurtful, untrustworthy situation...I fell in love with him. I got him out of my life and later met a wonderful man who does leaps in comparison to that pathetic piece of trash that tried to make me an FWB.

ya everyone makes poor decisions. i do feel stupid for it getting to where it was. before sex even came into the picture i had feelings for her so it was hard for me to be sexually involved with her, and keep those feelings aside. if the sex had happened alot earlier, it would of been fine with me. either way that is all in the past, and i will learn from it. it still sucks sometimes when i think about her though.

 

why do you think im bitter towards women?

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ya everyone makes poor decisions. i do feel stupid for it getting to where it was. before sex even came into the picture i had feelings for her so it was hard for me to be sexually involved with her, and keep those feelings aside. if the sex had happened alot earlier, it would of been fine with me. either way that is all in the past, and i will learn from it. it still sucks sometimes when i think about her though.

 

why do you think im bitter towards women?

 

Are you me? lol, nah, I know you are not--but it sounds like we both know the same girl. the difference is...mine wasn't as nice, she would try to hide me towards the end of the relationship, when she "came out" as a lesbian, because she was attracted to this one 31 year old...she did everything she could to appeal to that...that....woman. and in the process...she cheated on me. she had sex with her. I asked why she did that; she said "we weren't even going out". so I asked "how could I have been your best relationship, if there was none?" and...I don't know. I hope to god I will find another girl like her, just nicer and sweeter, and HONEST.

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Just b/c of some of the things you say...your heart is cold, etc...it makes me worry that you are going to hate all women.
i dont hate women. i just dont trust them. this was the one time i actually trusted a girl. even though the entire time i told myself dont do it dont do it. i hope i do meet someone else, but i wont make the same mistake of basically giving her a relationship, with out a commitment.
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