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Longtime Attraction


ShyQuincy
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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Pull up a chair and grab some popcorn, I met this girl as a kid, we were like 11, 12. Anyway I moved away (4000 miles) but never forgot about her, we hung out together, I dated her friend she dated mine. For what ever reason 2 years after moving I got to visit and she was the only person I thought about seeing,which I did, nothing heavy just a quick visit. Here's the kicker, that was 25 years ago and till this day I never ever forgot about her, I don't know why, just always in my thoughts.

 

2 years ago when I moved much closer I decided to look for her online, I did and we started to email each other for a short period of time, then nothing. Finally about 4 months ago she emails me and let me know she has gone through a separation, I myself had recently broke up with my girlfriend after moving. We start emailing, and just recently had the chance to actually stop and visit her on my way back from a good friends house, we are 5 hours apart.

 

This girl has always turned me on but as adults I felt like I was heaven looking into her eyes and we talked about the past. I was only stopping over the night and in the morning it was awkward when I left, I felt I had possibly been too shy the night before or too much of a gentleman. Anyway prior to stopping over we emailed maybe a couple of times a week but now its only been like 3 times since then, a month later. After a couple of phone messages and no response, I emailed to ask her what was going on, and she had assured me I had done nothing wrong, she had actually met someone and they were spending quite a bit of time together, I have a feeling she had just met this person before I had arranged my visit.

 

My problem is I honestly believed things happen for a reasons and a chance reunion was going to be the start of something beautiful. I'm just wondering should I keep my longtime attraction to myself or should I let her know just how I have felt all these years or is selfish of me to bring it up now? Even during my last relationship of 5 years I thought of this girl, always wondering what had happened to her and so on.

 

I'm a very sensitive guy and really caring and just lonely not sharing my life with someone. I have no one to talk to and most people would not understand the situation because this isn't an overnight thing, its been going one since I was a kid. My heart is just so broken I'm not sure what to do.

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If you think shes into you I'd just tell her, if not then just keep emailing her, visiting her everys so often and see what happens.

 

I'm just worried that if I pour all my feelings out now, its going to look like i'm begging her and with the distance it's definitely putting me at a disadvantage, believe me I have thought of doing this.

 

I'm really trying to figure out why she has been on my mind almost all my life, I can truly say back when we were kids and we hung out, it was the happiest time of my life. Thank you for your comments.

 

I think I have a lot of healing.

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