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Guys - How important is it for a women to reach orgasm the FIRST time you have sex?


Traveler27
Coping with lack of intimacy when y...
Coping with lack of intimacy when you're single

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I just slept with a new guy I've been seeing and I think I was pretty lousy in bed. He was able to finish, but I couldn't, and I feel a bit embarrassed about it. I'm not a faker, so I didn't fake orgasm (never understood why some women do this).

 

So guys, is it really important to you for a women to climax the first time you have sex? I feel like this guy made a really strong effort to get me off, but I was so nervous I just couldn't get there. Would this be a huge turn-off?

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First time as in you were a virgin or first time you had sex with that guy?

 

I would say it is important. Even if you don't orgasm from sex there are other ways. I can't get off from sex because it still hurts so my boyfriend always makes sure I'm satisfied before he even starts.

 

Although since this guy was trying hard I wouldn't fault him. As long as it doesn't become a habit.

 

Oh and I'm not a man either.

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For the first time? No, of course not. Don't feel embarrassed. The first time for any couple is usually filled with a lot of anxiety/nervousness. Don't expect the whole world to happen the first time. Just relax and have fun.

 

Actually, you should be really happy the guy made an effort to do so. Most guys tend to be selfish about it. Granted, we can finish much faster. As the two of you become more in touch with each other, I'm sure its going to happen.

 

Is there anything that suggests that he was dissatisfied/turned off? Cuz, I mean. He finished. lol

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just reassure him that you had a good time....as sad as it is most men equate no orgasm to no fun...which isnt true so when that happens just give a little confidence boost to destroy those thoughts hes having that he didnt satisfy u...even if he didnt hell be more likely to next time with a little added confidence rather then having anxiety...and let him know what you especially liked.

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Did you enjoy it other than being nervous? He tried like heck that means he will put in the effort next time.

 

I have always tried my hardest to give a women an orgasm the first time. But all is not ruined if you thought it was good even though you did not finish. I hope you showed that you were having a good time though. Or at least reashured him that the problem wasn't him and that you were vervouse. He can build his ego next time when you aren't so nervous.

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First time as in you were a virgin or first time you had sex with that guy?

 

I would say it is important. Even if you don't orgasm from sex there are other ways. I can't get off from sex because it still hurts so my boyfriend always makes sure I'm satisfied before he even starts.

 

Although since this guy was trying hard I wouldn't fault him. As long as it doesn't become a habit.

 

Oh and I'm not a man either.

 

No, not a virgin, lol. Just fist time having sex with this particular guy.

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For the first time? No, of course not. Don't feel embarrassed. The first time for any couple is usually filled with a lot of anxiety/nervousness. Don't expect the whole world to happen the first time. Just relax and have fun.

 

Actually, you should be really happy the guy made an effort to do so. Most guys tend to be selfish about it. Granted, we can finish much faster. As the two of you become more in touch with each other, I'm sure its going to happen.

 

Is there anything that suggests that he was dissatisfied/turned off? Cuz, I mean. He finished. lol

 

Yeah, he certainly finished - no problems there!!

 

I just wasn't sure if he would assume I'm not so hot in bed since I couldn't climax, and yes, he did try quite hard too!! I was thrilled that he made such an effort, that's part of the reason I feel so embarrassed. I feel so bad - for both of us!

 

Wish I could have relaxed more. I'm always very nervous with a new partner.

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I don't remember the percentage anymore, but a large percentage of the population can't orgasm at all via penetration. It's a surprisingly high number for most people when they hear it the first time.

 

And beyond that, there's little chance that a guy is going to be disappointed if you don't climax. If he is disappointed, then he's probably just disappointed in himself for not being able to do the job. You so have nothing to worry about. No chance a guy is going to get turned off by that.

 

At the same time, when a guy knows that he's gotten you off in a big way then what it will likely do is feed his ego. So, as most people like to have their ego stroked, that's the part that's going to please him most. His ability to rock your world is going to make him feel like sex God.

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wow if orgasms were the gauge for how you are in bed I would be a pretty lousy lay!!!

I don't think not being able to cum makes you a bad lover...being unenthusiastic, lifeless, and timid would probably put you in that category faster...

 

too funny!! thanks for the laugh.

 

But anyway, I was SUPER nervous (which I did mention to him), but I'm afraid I may have been a bit timid since it was the first time with this guy. That's why I'm embarrassed as well - I don't want him to think I'm always that unresponsive in bed.

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too funny!! thanks for the laugh.

 

But anyway, I was SUPER nervous (which I did mention to him), but I'm afraid I may have been a bit timid since it was the first time with this guy. That's why I'm embarrassed as well - I don't want him to think I'm always that unresponsive in bed.

 

well the first time is always a bit awkward...just try to let go next time..get out of your head and in to your body...if i can focus solely on the sensations going on it's always a hundred times better...

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too funny!! thanks for the laugh.

 

But anyway, I was SUPER nervous (which I did mention to him), but I'm afraid I may have been a bit timid since it was the first time with this guy. That's why I'm embarrassed as well - I don't want him to think I'm always that unresponsive in bed.

 

maybe a few beers will help that

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