Jump to content

Possessions left behind...


Recommended Posts

After 16 days of no contact, the ex emails me about a box of my old things that she has rounded up since I moved out. The have little value, except a gift she got for me, so getting them back isn't a big deal.

 

The problem is the contact. Right now I find myself in the anger portion of healing, and I must mention she is not aware of the NC. She started emotional detachment many months before the break, is dating someone else, and fine with being friends.

 

So this email comes on Monday, saying "let me know when you can come get it or I can drop it off" among other friendly things. Part of me wants to be polite and reply, the other wants to ignore her forever.

 

For some reason she calls and/or emails every two weeks for something small or trivial. This is killing the whole point of NC!

 

Any thoughts?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She is seeing if you are still there by contacting you over these little things. You could be a backup BF to her. Do NC and do not worry about the stuff if it is worthless to you. My ex is doing the same thing. I refuse to be the backup.

 

As far as the emotional detachment I think that is a myth. I think it is an excuse used by rebounders to justify there actions and there new relationship. Just my opinion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I still have keys to my exbf's house... and if he contacts me for them, I simply won't reply. He can change the locks if he's worried.

 

In addition... I have gathered up some of his things at my house and put them in paper bags and put them in the back of the spare bedroom... out of sight. I don't plan to contact him with these things... I won't put myself through that additional pain... I will toss them when I am ready

 

Contacting you about this is just silly... she is just trying to make contact, I'd ignore her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, and after a month i went NC. a week from when i started, he contacted me wanting to give me back my stuff. i told him its okay, i dont need it. he then said he needs to get his stuff anyway, which only consisted of a jacket and an ipod. he has 10 other jackets that are practically identical, and i know for a fact he has TWO other ipods, which are newer than the one he's asking for. he clearly does not need his stuff. i offered to leave his stuff with my doorman the next day.

 

the next day he emails again and suddenly cannot make it anymore. he asks if we can meet up another time to exchange. i said sure, with no intention of meeting up. i haven't heard from him since then, and still have his stuff.

 

i'm glad i didn't see him, and im glad i'm doing NC except for a short polite response about his stuff. i would give her back her stuff so she has one less excuse to contact you and so you can really do NC, but i wouldnt do it in person. mail or have a third party do it. trust me, im really really glad i didn't meet up with him to give it back. they're just asking for a reason to see you bc they want to see how youre doing--don't give them that help. they don't deserve it. my boyfriend dumped me, if hes questioning his decision now, that his problem.

 

also, i wouldnt tell her youre doing NC. just do it and let her wonder why. again, that's her problem.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...