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I Want To Smoke!!!!


ImThatGirl

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I'm not going to.... But today is probably the first day since last week that I can really imagine going to the gas station, buying a pack and a lighter and smoking. Ah!

 

I'm not going to do it. I can't - today is day 9, can't give up now. But I needed to scream to the world or someone that "I want to, I want to, I want to!!!!!!!!"

 

I have a meeting in a little bit - the place I'm going, I always used to smoke on my way to... and on my way from. I'm also working from home today. Somewhat hectic morning.... all triggers.

 

Where are my suckers?

 

And - I know this is the right area but I keep thinking to myself - smoking is like "self injury....." Can't do it. Not allowed.

 

Thanks for listening. (reading)

 

Hope your day is great!

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I'm not going to.... But today is probably the first day since last week that I can really imagine going to the gas station, buying a pack and a lighter and smoking. Ah!

 

I'm not going to do it. I can't - today is day 9, can't give up now. But I needed to scream to the world or someone that "I want to, I want to, I want to!!!!!!!!"

 

I have a meeting in a little bit - the place I'm going, I always used to smoke on my way to... and on my way from. I'm also working from home today. Somewhat hectic morning.... all triggers.

 

Where are my suckers?

 

And - I know this is the right area but I keep thinking to myself - smoking is like "self injury....." Can't do it. Not allowed.

 

Thanks for listening. (reading)

 

Hope your day is great!

 

DON'T DO IT GIRL!!! YOU'RE STRONGER THEN THOSE CIGS! Hang in there!

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What I did was to say to myself (out loud if I could and not look totally insane) - "Well I can smoke or I can let it pass. It's only like 2 minutes then it will be gone."

 

As soon as you decide it isn't even an option for that moment at least, for this craving, it's like you can let it go and it passes so much faster.

 

I know I used to hold my breath a whole lot when I was quitting and stress was my BIGGEST and BADDEST trigger. The rest was peanuts but moments of stress, literally, it was so automatic to smoke and worry and not even give any other option a chance.

 

So yes, running or punching things like a bag/stuffies is great. Burn up some extra anxious energy.

 

But it's just getting through 2 minutes!! Say it over and over each time it gets bad. Sweat to the earth, this does work. Before you know it you're back to feeling like 'oh gee this is the easier thing to quit ever'.

 

No nicotine replacement or anything - just cold turkey for ya?

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Taking up running for quitting is awesome because it does a couple of things. One, it gets your mind off of it, and if you run until you sides hurt, trust me you will not be thinking about a cigarette and 2) it helps to keep off any couple of lbs that might creep up on ya after the smoking is completely abated.

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Thank you Jaded! I have to leave to this appt in 15 mins - still gotta put my make up on and do my hair... so - maybe by the time I'm done.... I won't crave.

 

But yeah - I think I better take up running!!!!!

 

And just think about how much sexier your makeup will look later on in life when you realize you don't have smokers lips. (deep wrinkles)

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Whew~!! Just finished reading all of your posts.

 

Did I happen to tell ya'll that you are absolutely A-M-A-Z-I-N-G today?!!!

 

 

YOU ARE ALL AMAZING!!!!!

 

Thank you so much. I think I'm good for now. I rushed around doing my make up, getting ready, cleaned my car out, ate a sucker, chewed gum..... went to my meeting - didn't have to worry about smelling like smoke... and the bank and home. I survived. I did it.

 

yay!

 

Lost, Purple, Beer! Thanks for your encouraging words!!!

 

IAG - I don't feel as stressed these days with no smoking as I used to when I did smoke. Always trying to figure out when I'd have time to smoke, you know? (then)

I took Chantix for 2 full weeks. I felt like it was making me emotional and tempermental. I feel better now without taking it. Today is day 9 of no smoking and I stopped the Chantix about 5 days ago.

 

Jaded, I certainly need that exercise - for stress relief and so I can knock a couple pounds I've already gained! Starting the gym (signed up and all) beg of January... Thinking about starting Dec 1st instead.

 

Metro, Very true! You know I can tell a difference in my skin kinda too already. I feel pretty now that I don't smoke..... And I am glad that I don't have those smokers wrinkles around my lips. And I don't want them!

 

And Victoria, I am sorry to hear about your grandfather. Thank you for sharing with me.

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Vic, were you the one that mentioned recently in a thread that even in the end, you grandpa was still going through the motions (physical motions) of smoking?

 

If not, whoever that was - that hit too...

 

I lost two uncles to cancer in the past two years.

One was a smoker of everything and very unhealthy.

The second was a non-smoker (so was his wife, my aunt...) (He did drive a semi all his adult life.)

Liver cancer I think.

 

Still, I always made the excuse, Mom smokes and she's had NO health problems. She had a mini stroke in August.

 

My dad (step dad but my dad) had a heart attack five years ago. He made no changes with his life. (Please don't tell me, I know his risks.)

 

Anyhow.... It's become more of a reality for me - how smoking affects people.

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Anyhow.... It's become more of a reality for me - how smoking affects people.

 

Not just how it affects you personally and physically but how it affects your loved ones that have to take care of you later when you are gravely ill.

 

I took on the responsibility of caring for my father when his health went bad. I didn't/couldn't trust my mom to do it, she was the one that kept him well supplied with cigarettes even though she knew he could/would die.

 

Endless doctor's appointments, sorting out his meds, breathing treatments and portable oxygen machines. Everywhere we went, so did his oxygen and his nebulizer (sp). I watched my father die a slow painful death. COPD and congestive heart failure. I watched him struggle for a good breath. Just rising from the couch to go to the restroom was a tug of war with his lungs.

 

My mother, a smoker for many many years of course believes that no harm can come from smoking. She has this 'cold that she can't shake'. She's had this 'cold' for 20 years now.

 

My father died alone 1-12-06. I was at work when he passed.

 

Don't let that be you. Your children don't want to bury you.

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hang in there girl... you can do it! I'm telling you it took nearly a month before I felt the benefits of not smoking... until then I felt worse.. but years later I'm SO glad I quit... we're rootin' for ya!

 

Thanks Livi!!!!! Today is a hard day for some reason! Must be the working from home.....

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Yup I know of at least 4 others who were successful at quitting by taking up running in its place. It's working for me so far, day 11 Time to lose count soon!

 

 

When are you going to stop counting? I think i'm going to soon! lol running... running... running.... Sounds like the going thing!

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MG - thank you for writing to me about your father. I am very sorry for your loss and the pain.....

 

One of your comments a few months ago about smoking helped get me on this path to this point of actually trying and doing.

 

Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad that you are on the right path chica... and if I had anything to do with that, I feel blessed.....

 

You are doing so well, keep your head high and know that everyday that you go without a cigarette is one day more with your children.

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Whew, so proud of you for getting through that rough spot!!

 

Trust us all who have quit - it DOES get easier and easier. Before you know you'll forget how long its been since you quit.

 

And I totally agree with you about stress actually going down when you are not smoking compared to when you were smoking. It really is so much easier to stay in a state of relaxation when you aren't going on the rollercoaster of addiction.

 

You are doing awesome!!! Amazing!!! Congratulations ...

 

10 days is nothing to laugh at. You've got through the toughest part already!!!

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Thank you all..... This morning - another rough one. lol My mom is visiting (from yesterday til tomorrow.) That sometimes escalates my stress because my kids (daughter) seems to think she should get everything she wants when Mamaw is there.

 

In any case, almost every morning this week, my little girl.... my little angel... has been defiant, downright refusing to get ready for school... I'm dealing well with that situation and with her. But man if I wouldn't LOVE a cigarette once I put both kiddies on the bus. (Used to be one of my fav times of the day. Me time - from the time I put kids on the bus til I decided to get ready for work.)

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