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So my ex texted me today. We talk by text or phone almost daily, just friendly convo and silly inside jokes. We've made a few lunch dates with each other but they always fall through last minute so I suggested we go sit somewhere and talk or something. When I told my dad we were meeting up his immediate response was, "So *ex-boyf* can boo-hoo that he lost you?" That got me thinking about all sorts of things. I've known recently that I was missing him, but not the guy he is now, the guy he was. I could not get back with my ex because it would not be in my best interest but I do miss him. I am dating someone else who I truly care for and am very interested in. I am just torn.

 

And of course I get in my car and all these songs come on. Taylor Swift's "Love Story" is on while I'm on the phone with my ex, some lyrics saying "I want to make up right now, wish we never broke up..." and then the classic ballad "Love Hurts." So now I'm sitting here, on my bedroom floor wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I know I am always going to love my ex. There is no stopping that. I no longer have feelings for him like I did but how can I make the missing go away?

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I'm still missing the relationship my ex and I had, no matter what I do.

I care for my boyfriend very much and do love him in a way. But the relationship my ex and I had was perfect. The flaw was that we didn't see each other often enough and at this time in our lives that was an uncontrollable factor. We were perfect, that's why everyone envied what we had. It was so rare. We were perfect, that's why your mom used to harass me about he and I having grandbabies for her. We were perfect, that's why everyone called me Mrs. ____ (enter ex's last name) from the first few weeks we dated. We were perfect and that is why there was a ring on my finger symbolizing a promise of marriage. We were perfect and that is why I could handle seeing him only once a week.

I miss what we had and it's not coming back and I need to really, really forget about it and be accepting of the new relationships God has granted me. Hopefully this gets easier before I actually come up with the nerve to tell my ex that I miss what he and I had.

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Since I posted this thread a week ago I haven't talked to him and I took him off my friends on Myspace so I wouldn't have to see his face when I log in.

He was part of my life for the past 4 years. It's hard to stop thinking about him especially when I know he's thinking about me.

Every time he does text me or call me the second or third thing (Typically after hi, and how are you) he says is the thing that happened in his day that made him think of me. Whether it was a car he saw, something he found or a place he went that we had been together, it never fails; he always has something to tell me about how he was thinking about me.

And it kills me.

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He texted me today.

And he told me he missed my dad? And wanted to have lunch with him? I have no clue what that means but he can do as he pleases. He called while I was teaching ballet earlier (stupid me, my phone wasn't on silent) so I called him back when I got off work. He just wanted to talk to "see how I was."

I can't just cut him off...

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You are showing all the reasons why we advocate NC so much and so often.What would your current guy think if he knew all this? Are you being fair to him? You wouldn't be missing your ex if you loved your current b/f.Decide whether your going to have a serious go with your b/f,or finish with him.Don't allow him to be a casualty.Sounds kind of selfish from where I'm sitting.

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He does know that my ex and I are in contact and he says he wishes his last ex and him could talk without it becoming some sort of brawl. My boyf doesn't know I miss what I had with my ex. My boyf and I are trying to work out some issues we're having right now any ways so if we don't last it's for more than one issue.

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Sounds like you have a recipe for disaster. You should stop thinking about and contacting the old ex before trying with a new one.

 

I relapsed yesterday As of right now it doesn't feel like it was a good idea. Only thing I got out of it was the answers to some questions I was wondering, so I suppose it was not all in vein.

 

Unfortunately for every answer there is another question. I give up on trying to find them all.

 

Told her I would not contact her anymore for awhile and asked her not to contact me.

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But my ex was my best friend for 4 years. We went through so much together. There was a point in our lives where we were all each other had besides our families. I don't really have questions for him anymore. I don't want the answers because I fear them.

He is still my friend and I suppose I am still his or he would not make the effort to contact me. It is never me who contacts first, it is ALWAYS him. I haven't contacted him first in months, besides for when my aunt passed away and I had to tell him.

I don't want to cut him out of my life, I want to find someone new I can have a relationship with like I had with him. I want a best friend, lover and companion all in one package. My boyfriend and I right now are still getting to know each others ins and outs. I was comfortable already knowing every single thing about my ex. Even he admits that he knows me better than anyone, just like I know him better than anyone. I suppose the only way to find that again is to date new people and let those relationships grow.

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