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Moving in together?


SapphireNoir10

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People seem to be moving in together so soon these days. I made the mistake with my ex, moved in after four months, it was miserable.

 

I dont think you REALLY know someone until you live with them and when you do theres no hiding from them you know? Its hard to walk away in an argument and its you and them, day in day out good and bad. Its like the biggest commitment you can make.

 

My friends are moving in together after two months. My boyfriend thinks its great for them. Im not skeptical. Can it truly work?

 

I think even engagment is less than a commitment because you can call it off easily whilst living together can be messy if you split. Its a real test, its like make or break I found.

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It is really soon & they probably can't really gauge how well they will get along in a year.

 

That's not to say it won't work out. I moved in with my bf after 5 months. We've been living together for 3 & it's still going great. I was concerned before we moved in because I knew it can change the dynamics of a relationship & it would suck to have to move everything again & find a new place to live. If anything, it made it even better to be able to see him everyday.

 

It is a risk, but if they are going into it with their eyes open & are mature enough to handle conflicts responsibly, it could be a good thing.

 

Another example was my ex; I planned to move in with him 5 years ago. Thank god my mom put the brakes on that. I was so pissed at her then but now I'm extremely grateful she saw what I didn't.

 

So basically, it's pretty fast, it might work out or it might not. I wouldn't call it a good idea, but give them a little faith. Did they meet 2 months ago or were they friends before that?

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They've known eachother two months as well. I want it to work, god knows theres not enough love and happiness as it is so two people making it against the odds would be great. I jus twonder sometimes if its just a whim and if people but thought into big commitments that are hard to back out of which end up with people hurt.

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I dont think you REALLY know someone until you live with them

 

I would agree.

 

My friends are moving in together after two months. My boyfriend thinks its great for them. Im not skeptical. Can it truly work?

 

I think it can but if you've lived with a boyfriend or girlfriend (or spouse for that matter) you will realise it take a lot of commitment and willingness to make it work.

 

If you are going to try it I would recommend only doing so if you have an easy and inexpensive exit plan. Do you know more marriages fail in the first year than any other year? This is one of the reasons I think.

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My mum and dad broke up after two years of dating when they moved in together but luckily worked it out. Is truly the make and break situation I think. And I think its silly to rush it and loose the potential of a great relationship because you did it too soon.

 

Ive moved into soon and when I learnt who my ex really was I wasnt very happy and it opened my eyes. You really have to learn compromise, walking away, and sharing and its so hard.

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Honestly after having moved in with my last husband I think it's a mistake to live together before marriage, it made me dependant upon him in some ways and harder to break it off when I should have. If I have another opportunity I will avoid living together before marriage.

 

Just my 2 cents.

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Yeah but then if you get married and live with someone you've got the divorce AND moving out to deal with! I think a trial period before marriage is good.

 

Two of my friends have been dating a year. they are having a trial month and if it goes well will move in together in the new year.

 

I think thats sensible!

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It depends on the person, everyone learns from their mistakes. At two months though they are still most likely in that phase where they are acting who they want to be. So their real true self won't come out, well it actually should very soon. So they'll see if it works or not themselves.

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I think it depends on the people.

A girl I work with moved in with her boyfriend after 3 months, and they just hit a year together.

 

My boyfriend said he moved in too soon with his ex, and that was at 2 years into their relationship, and it was too much too soon. And he doesn't want to repeat that episode with us.

 

Personally, I'm enjoying things the way they are. I wouldn't want move in with someone out of convenience and necessity, nor would I unless the relationship itself was ready.

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Man this thread is scaring the bejezus outta me in regards to living together.

I've never lived with a guy or anyone and I'm about to turn 23 so I feel a bit like a late bloomer considering so many people have lived with someone by age 21.

I'm still optimistic that it won't be THAT much of a hurdle when I finally move in with someone. Let's hope it works out for me lol. Never ever having lived with someone makes me want to experience it even more.

 

I like the idea you mentioned your friends are using: 1 month trial. However I'd give it a bit more then a month. The first month seems like it's still all gonna be new and maybe exciting.

 

I see alot of young couples moving in together though and I always wonder how they make it work with the finances and school as well.

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Man this thread is scaring the bejezus outta me in regards to living together.

I've never lived with a guy or anyone and I'm about to turn 23 so I feel a bit like a late bloomer considering so many people have lived with someone by age 21.

I'm still optimistic that it won't be THAT much of a hurdle when I finally move in with someone. Let's hope it works out for me lol. Never ever having lived with someone makes me want to experience it even more.

 

I like the idea you mentioned your friends are using: 1 month trial. However I'd give it a bit more then a month. The first month seems like it's still all gonna be new and maybe exciting.

 

I see alot of young couples moving in together though and I always wonder how they make it work with the finances and school as well.

 

Don't get scared; it does work out with some people. I haven't lived with my bf a really long time (3 months so far) but it's still going great! It DEFINITELY depends on if both people are ready for a serious commitment & are able to handle conflicts without turning it into more than it is. It also depends on how well you know each other before you move in. Unexpected surprises that you weren't aware of beforehand aren't good.

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Don't get scared; it does work out with some people. I haven't lived with my bf a really long time (3 months so far) but it's still going great! It DEFINITELY depends on if both people are ready for a serious commitment & are able to handle conflicts without turning it into more than it is. It also depends on how well you know each other before you move in. Unexpected surprises that you weren't aware of beforehand aren't good.

 

thanks. nice to read this.

 

i also feel optimistic about a couple who moves in together (or someday myself) just as long as they know how to handle conflicts and compromise. i'm guessing compromise is the biggest factor.

 

also keeping criticism to a minimum and knowing when to bite ur tongue i imagine.

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God im awful at biting my tongue and im far too immature to live with someone lol.

 

lol. i'm woriking at biting my tongue A BIT at least while i'm still home. i notice that i critisize ALOT. if i walk in the door and the rooms messy or the lights are on for no reason. i sriously need to get a grip on things like that. or else i would dump MYSELF lol if i had to live with me.

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