knightNshiningarmor Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 ok so were not all perfect and sometimes i need to step back and take my own advice but people...and sadly i find its more men then women... so here is scenario...girl breaks up with guy...and guys throws everything he has at her trying to beg her back...guys please please stop this....when will we realize that when that bird wants to fly squeezing it to death is the worst thing anyone can do. Ironically the best way to possibly get back with an ex who just dumped you is to move on...harder said then done and sometimes you got to fake it till you make it...but you will have a better chance at restoring a relationship by being willing to lose it then you will by smoothering it.... just my 2 cents of what i keep reading here over and over...now to go out and listen to it myself ](*,) Link to comment
yeawutever Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Right they should stop doing this but unfortunately won't listen. Some people don't like being alone but better than being in bad company. Link to comment
huskiesfan Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Oh yes. As a recent dumpee, the first thought in my mind was, "I have to get her back, how do I do it?" And now after talking to friends, and talking to people on here, I realize exactly what I need to do----nothing. It can be a win-win scenario, barring other serious problems between you two. Maybe your ex will realize that they miss you and they left something special and they will come back. Or, even if they don't, not being around them or talking to them will heal you, and you will come out of it happy and stronger than before. Link to comment
knightNshiningarmor Posted November 18, 2008 Author Share Posted November 18, 2008 well its this crap that drives the person away even faster then think back on you and your relationship in pitty for you...in my opinion...you let the person know how you feel but if they want to leave you let them...no person is worth your dignity but so many men offer it up on a silver platter...and ironically it pushes the person away faster Link to comment
yeawutever Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Maybe your ex will realize that they miss you and they left something special and they will come back. Sure it can work at timee. I haven't told this but it did in my case, there was a very short break in mid April (no definitely not me, him) and one exactly month later he asked me back. I never beg like a friend of mine did, it makes you sounds like a person with no self-esteem (man or woman). Link to comment
alli Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 I wish my ex listened to this advice 5 years ago. He did not make it easy. Breakups never are, but still... Link to comment
Pressfit Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 I found this out years ago the hard way. No matter what you do or say, once a woman has made up her mind, a guy could be able to eat charcoal in one end and squeeze out Diamonds out the other and it still would have no effect. Link to comment
huskiesfan Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 I never beg like a friend of mine did, it makes you sounds like a person with no self-esteem (man or woman). Not only that, but it takes power out of your hands and puts it into the ex's, and you don't want to do that, it will only prolong the pain. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 And then they would tend to lose respect for you. If they get back is b/c it was meant to, if not it wasn't that's life. I guess I'm lucky in my case, then again I was prepare if it didn't happened. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 In the heat of the moment and in the panic and desperation you do initially panic and beg and smother. But backing off after that is all you can do to retain dignity and pride i think. Its their loss Link to comment
Landon7 Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 yea that is really good advice. im sure we all have made that mistake before but you learn something from everything. Link to comment
Loup Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Probably because guys tend to take break ups a lot harder than girls. I have made a pact with myself that no matter what when someone tells me it's over I refuse to allow myself to contact them in any way shape or form. Then again maybe it's the anger that keeps me in line? Link to comment
knightNshiningarmor Posted November 18, 2008 Author Share Posted November 18, 2008 Probably because guys tend to take break ups a lot harder than girls. I have made a pact with myself that no matter what when someone tells me it's over I refuse to allow myself to contact them in any way shape or form. Then again maybe it's the anger that keeps me in line? even if that person that did the dumping begs and pleads...i think thats the only time its acceptable to do a little begging when your the one that did the hurting...thats been my past...her breaking up then begging to be back and pleading that its all changed...its hard to cut off on that. But I agree...totally that if someone else was to say its over...then thats it and im on with my life. Link to comment
Loup Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Maybe I am a victim of pride but I refuse to ever beg anyone for anything. Hell after you break up with me I am so damn insulted the last thing I want to do is get back with the person. Link to comment
alli Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 I found this out years ago the hard way. No matter what you do or say, once a woman has made up her mind, a guy could be able to eat charcoal in one end and squeeze out Diamonds out the other and it still would have no effect. haha. Your pic is cool, btw. Loup- You know, I always thought females took breakups harder than males. Who knows. It is actually easier on the dumper than on the dumpee for certain. But I don't know if one sex does the dumping more than the other or if both do it equally. Link to comment
redhearts Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Hahaha, its true, but some people are so in love and heart broken they can't think straight. Link to comment
My Advice Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 knight this is something both genders do all the time and I think it is pretty hard to be neutral when somebody just breaks up with you who you are in love with. I agree begging sucks and 'often' drives them farther away. I also take pleasure in never having begged anything from anybody. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 guys are programmed to be in control and society has held up this belief as well. but i don't think it's one more than the other. maybe on this site. Link to comment
Mutley Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Don't chase!!!!! Replace!!! (after you take time to heal) Link to comment
blue69 Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 Wow.. the generalizations that are being thrown around here.... "and sadly i find its more men then women..." This is some pretty solid research... I am sure you have a wide variety of perspectives and experiences to back up this conclusion... Sorry but these kind of generalizations are misplaced. People respond negatively to rejection and insecurity can affect both females and males. Link to comment
My Advice Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 I know sooooooooooooo many girls who have begged and pleaded when their guys broke up with them. This is something common among both genders. Link to comment
knightNshiningarmor Posted November 20, 2008 Author Share Posted November 20, 2008 just seems like more guys then gals here on ena...or maybe its about equal but social stigma suggest it should be more heavily women thus it just appears to be uneven here. Link to comment
riley123 Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 I'm guilty of the FREAK OUT!!!! Ha-ha. She was a part -- the biggest part -- of my life for eight years, so of course I had trouble seeing a day, week or month without her. But, oddly enough, I found out that life goes on. Sure it hurts now, and you'll probably miss them for a long, long time, but one day there will be another love. Everything and everyday is a lesson. Link to comment
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