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We have to work together


ruby2sday

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Hello - I've been seeing this guy at work for 4 months. When he first hit on me he had a gf, who is also a co-worker. I turned him down because of this even though I really liked him a lot. He ended things with her a few days later. Ther relationship, according to him, had been dead for a long time and he always described her as his roomate. They had to see out their lease, which ended Friday, and he was moving to a place by himself.

 

I saw him Thursday night but haven't heard a word from him since. I've text'd, emailed, and left voice mail. No responses at all. And both of them have called out from work each day since then.

 

I assume they got back together (or maybe never really broke up and he was lying the whole time to us both) and he's blowing me off (tho I wish he would just TELL me) but I guess there's a chance I'm wrong. Eventually we'll have to all work together, and I'm just nervous about that. I feel totally thrown out and humiliated and I don't know how to handle it when i do see him/them. I'm sure my hands will be shaking and I'll be anxious and it'll show, even though I'll be trying not to let it show. I'm also sad, I miss him, and angry at him as well for having so little care for me and just ignoring me. Everything was fine... and he kept telling me that he liked me so so much and wanted her to be gone so we could be together more.

 

How do I deal with this?

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I dont think its a coincidence that they both called out of work on the same days, whether they are still together or getting back together. You need to step away from this situation. Do not email, text or call him.

 

Its a hard spot to be in since you all work together, do you guys work closely together?? Or can you move to another part of the building?

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We work in the same area, but our shifts only overlap by a couple of hours.

 

Since it dawned on me that he was definitely ignoring me, I haven't tried to contact him. But... that was only yesterday. I dont plan on contacting him, I'm just nervous about seeing him at work. It sucks to feel used and rejected in general, but its really gonna suck having to see him/them daily whenever they come back into work. And I wish he had just told me what happened. Because I have no clue. Things were great last time I saw him, and we made plans to go out on our next night off together.

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Sadly, 90 % of the time (if not more)- that's what you get yourself into when you date someone who's already taken.

So many men say they are broken up or are going to break up with their GF, SO, Spouse, etc- when they aren't at all- until you know for sure, it's never a good idea. Until their former relationship is completely done- The only thing you'll be guaranteed to get from them is heartbreak. All of the lines he was feeding you are all very cliche and typical things cheaters say. And you better believe it's no concidence they took the time off together. I'm 99.9 % convinced that he was just using you until he thought it was too dangerous or too high a chance of being found out.

 

Then you landed yourself in the other cliche of don't date someone you work with. - Even if he was single, you would have felt the same awkwardness when you broke up.

All I can tell you is keep this experience in mind the next time either of these situations present themselves to you.

 

As far as your job, I would highly advise you to quit. I think it will be really hard to deal with both of them in these given circumstances. Plus, he is most likely going to blame you for the problems in their relationship and cause her to vent her anger at you.

If you don't quit, be prepared to deal with a lot of future unpleasantness from them both. (And possibly the management if either of them tries to accuse you of something)

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Thanks for taking the time to respond, but no way would I quit my job over a 4 month thing. I like my career very much and am doing very well at my workplace.

 

As far as the 2 of them go... I doubt anything vindictive would happen. And I saw him last night. I was all set to tell him its done, but, he did actually move out and he was really torn apart about it. So I just didn't have the heart to do it, tho I gave him several opportunities to end it himself. He didn't take the bait. I'm not sure what that means, if he's hedging his bets or something, but I don't think I care very much anymore. I just want to get it over with so there wont be any tension at work. But without being a b1tch about it.

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