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I'm 23, she's 27


WizardofOz
Can Second Chance Relationship Work...
Can Second Chance Relationship Work - 8 Reasons

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I don't see why you consider this an age gap. You are pretty close in age as well as stage in life. There is no rule that says the man has to be older than the woman, and four years at your ages is really not an age gap, in my opinion. Maturity and life experience are much more important, but you don't tell us anything about that.

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why would the age gap scare you? what are you afraid of? I don't see the big problem

 

I guess my fear is that she might be ready for the next step in her life (marriage, family etc.) whereas I am still only 23 and am unlikely ready for that. I feel a strong connection with her, so I want things to work out without age being a factor.

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To tell you the truth, I am rather uptight about age-gap situations in general.

 

And even I think you have nothing to worry about - that is age gap related - here.

 

Whether the two of you mesh in the long haul, that is something you'll have to find out the old fashioned way. Talking about these things and getting to know one another.

 

Let her know early on you aren't looking for marriage anytime soon. See where she is at. Go from there.

 

Contrary to popular belief, not all women in their late 20's are anxious for the settle-down-and-marry-with-kids bit.

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I guess my fear is that she might be ready for the next step in her life (marriage, family etc.) whereas I am still only 23 and am unlikely ready for that. I feel a strong connection with her, so I want things to work out without age being a factor.

 

Oh that is true. Yeh most women by 30 want to be married and have kids. So you should discuss within a month where she sees herself in say 5 years from where you two are at the moment. These days you see more and more women being pregnant and/or married after 35.

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I'm 23, he's 27. Almost 5 years and age has never been an issue. The only problem would be maturity levels, and where she's at in her life and what she's after, and you.

 

I always say its not about age, but about the life stages. If you're at the same spot, and going for the same things, age is irrelevant.

 

When I met my boyfriend we were both just starting post secondary education. [He worked after highschool and found his profession that he wanted to pursue..] so we were both doing the same thing, and now both about the enter the work force together and settle down.

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My best friend, my great love, she is 19 going on 20 by the end of this year. I'm 23. Yes, our 4 year difference scared me at first, but in so many ways we are EQUALS and that always deflates that age-gap illusion. This age-gap anxiety we share is most likely the result of our societal conditioning concerning legal age-limits, which declare that certain age groups are automatically more responsible and mature than others. Hence, the stupidity behind the double-standard concerning alcohol; you must be 21 to drink, yet you can join the army at 18 and learn to kill. Most people are either too lazy or afraid of skepticism (which should not be confused with pessimism or cynicism). Indeed, most people are pseudo-skeptics at best and don't even realize it.

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  • 2 weeks later...
My best friend, my great love, she is 19 going on 20 by the end of this year. I'm 23. Yes, our 4 year difference scared me at first, but in so many ways we are EQUALS and that always deflates that age-gap illusion. This age-gap anxiety we share is most likely the result of our societal conditioning concerning legal age-limits, which declare that certain age groups are automatically more responsible and mature than others. Hence, the stupidity behind the double-standard concerning alcohol; you must be 21 to drink, yet you can join the army at 18 and learn to kill. Most people are either too lazy or afraid of skepticism (which should not be confused with pessimism or cynicism). Indeed, most people are pseudo-skeptics at best and don't even realize it.

 

four years is actually pretty close so long as both of you are out of high school.

 

I think of an age gap as being at least seven years.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Add 1 more vote to "Not much of a difference".

 

Too bad my (the guy's) view is only half of what matters . See what drew me to this thread was that I asked someone out early last year, and she said I was a bit young for her. At that time I was 23, she was 26.

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