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how do i tell my parents...


forever1130

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I don't know is this is the right place for me to be posting this, but oh well.

 

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for quite some time now and I'm not quite sure how to tell my parents that we are officially dating, they think we are just friends. It wouldn't be that bad except for the fact that I'm 17 ( almost 18 ) and he's 22. I know you're all thinking why is a 22yo going out with a 17yo? and I assure that he is not trying to take advantage or me or anything like that.

 

So if you guys have any suggestions of how I can somehow tell my parents about us without them freaking out I would greatly appreciate it. Or if any of you have been in a similar situation, how did you handle it?

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well if they are okay with you being friends, i don't see them freaking out too much over you being more than that. plus parents aren't stupid. they most likely don't think he's hanging around with you because he just likes you platonically. i'd just casually ask my mom what she thinks about him, and if she responds positively, go further and ask what she'd think about you dating him.

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He has to ask them for permission without saying he has been dating you. So he needs to go talk to both parents to ask to date you.

 

He's told me before that he would be more than willing to talk to them, but im still scared that they'll freak out on me. I mean he's an amazing guy and I know they would like him but its just the age thing that worries me. Thanks for your input though, I'm really considering having him do it. I hate all this having to be sneaky crap lol

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Have your parents said before they don't approve of you dating an older guy? If not, I can't see what the problem is.

 

And nooooo don't get him to talk to them, that's a bit weird. Do it yourself.

 

I was 24 I think when I started dating my ex and she was 17.... we lasted almost two and a half years, her parents never had the slightest problem with the age gap. If anything they were glad she was going on with some immature kid.

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They haven't specifically said whether or not they approve of it, but they've hinted at the fact that they think a 5 year difference is a lot, especially cause I'm still in high school while he has already graduated college.

 

Would it be better for me to break the news to them and then if they still have a problem to have my bf try to convince them that there is nothing to be worried about?

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Hmm hinting at it isn't all that bad. Don't parents always hint that the boyfriend isn't right anyway? "He's too old" "He has spikey hair" "He lives so far away" etc. I dunno.

 

But yeah, if you think you and this guy are the real deal then I'd tell them asap. Don't they already like him since you're friends? I think him arguing his corner is way awkward, I'm not convinced he should do it even if your parents still have a problem.

 

Thing is it's only age, it's not like he's a criminal or the wrong religion or something, so I doubt they'll go nuts and say you CAN'T date him. I think once you tell them they'll realise they have to deal with it or risk pushing you away, and once he starts coming round for dinner or whatever they'll forget they ever even had a problem.

 

Have you dated older guys before? My ex always looked and acted way older than she was, so her parents were used to older guys being interested anyway. Sure her dad was a bit overprotective sometimes, but it wasn't anything to do with my age, just hers.

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Thanks guys! I really appreciate all your advice.

 

And he is my first boyfriend, which makes it even harder. But your right, as a friend they don't have a problem with it, so dating shouldn't be that much different. And like you said earlier, they should be happy that I'm going out with someone who isn't immature and stupid. i

 

And i have another, kinda silly question that I'd like to get some opinions on.

Its my senior this year and I have yet to go to a single dance or anything. I've been asked a few times to homecoming and stuff but always turned them down but I do not want to miss out on my senior prom. When me and my bf started dating he told me to not let him get in the way of me having fun my senior year. With that said, I would really like to take him to my prom, is that weird? (esp cause he's 22). He said he wouldn't mind going, but idk if he was just saying that or if he really meant it?

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General rule is if he's younger than the teachers, then it's cool.

 

Thats a good rule, I like it.

 

 

And could I use this to maybe break the ice about us dating to my parents... I mean if he's going to prom with me and I've turned down other guys for dances, it must mean i like him, right? They cant possibly be that stupid lol

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my friend's boyfriend was just a couple days away from being 21 at the time of our prom, and it wasn't weird at all to have him come along! HOWEVER, some schools have age-limits on how old your date can be (the idea being that he could buy alcohol for the rest of the seniors.)

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my friend's boyfriend was just a couple days away from being 21 at the time of our prom, and it wasn't weird at all to have him come along! HOWEVER, some schools have age-limits on how old your date can be (the idea being that he could buy alcohol for the rest of the seniors.)

 

 

I was just about to post this.. My school you had to be under 21. So you might want to check that. Some schools also require that those who attend only go to that school.

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Hmmm good point. I never even thought of the whole alcohol thing lol

 

I'm also worried that taking him will be awkward cause where we work, probably about 10 other kids from my school also work and they have no clue that were dating. I don't think it would be too bad for me but the fact that he is my manager and their manager (we started dating before he got the promotion) might make things kinda weird at work lol that's why we decided to keep our personal lives separate from work. Idkkkk I guess we'll just have to wait and see what ends up happening as the time gets closer lol

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I wouldn't recommend having your boyfriend ask your parents for permission to have a relationship with you. That comes accross as being way more serious than it should be.

 

It's normal for someone your age to be dating. I'm sure your parents have come to realize that the guy you have been "friends" with for a while now is more than that. Just tell them yourself and play it cool.

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