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I'm totally whipped.


advgal6

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My life revolves around my boyfriend. I feel like everything I do is for him. Trouble is, I don't get the same thing from him in return. It's not that he's a bad boyfriend, but he doesn't give nearly as much attention to me as I do to him. It makes me feel like I'm not appreciated. Plus, I'm not really active and don't go out a lot. So I have a LOT of free time to sit around and think about him.

 

How can I free myself of being the doormat?

 

If I weren't so whipped, do you think he would become more appreciative and attentive?

 

Is having an active life a really important thing that guys want in a girl?

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Every relationship needs balance. You have to be your own person and so does he. You both need to have separate interests,TOO much togetherness and TOO much devotion leads to exactly what you are feeling now. He will appreciate you far more when you are NOT a doormat and do not dote on him.

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Yes, nobody wants someone that gets ALL their enjoyment from their SO.

 

You should try and do things that make you happy. If you don't have anything that interests you, I'm sure Penn State has TONS of classes/groups/etc. you can get involved in.

 

Try and find a new hobby or 5 if you don't have any. Just get more involved with your own life. Don't depend on others to make yourself feel fulfilled.

 

I hope this helps answer your question.

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My life revolves around my boyfriend. I feel like everything I do is for him. Trouble is, I don't get the same thing from him in return. It's not that he's a bad boyfriend, but he doesn't give nearly as much attention to me as I do to him. It makes me feel like I'm not appreciated. Plus, I'm not really active and don't go out a lot. So I have a LOT of free time to sit around and think about him.

 

How can I free myself of being the doormat?

 

If I weren't so whipped, do you think he would become more appreciative and attentive?

 

Is having an active life a really important thing that guys want in a girl?

 

trust me, guys do not find it attractive when they are your whole wide world. you need to find other hobbies that you enjoy other than being with your boyfriend. or go out with friends more, make a "girls night." If that's not possible, or you don't have money to join a hobby with, then try going to the library and checking out some books or window shopping or going to the park for a run. maybe start a work-out regime. it will keep you busy AND in shape.

 

and don't blame your boyfriend for not making you his whole world, too. there's got to be a happy-medium.

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trust me, guys do not find it attractive when they are your whole wide world. you need to find other hobbies that you enjoy other than being with your boyfriend. or go out with friends more, make a "girls night." If that's not possible, or you don't have money to join a hobby with, then try going to the library and checking out some books or window shopping or going to the park for a run. maybe start a work-out regime. it will keep you busy AND in shape.

 

and don't blame your boyfriend for not making you his whole world, too. there's got to be a happy-medium.

 

I find it attractive when a chick i'm going out with gives me HEAPS of attention but I wouldnt want her to forget about her own life and hobbies.

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My life revolves around my boyfriend. I feel like everything I do is for him. Trouble is, I don't get the same thing from him in return. It's not that he's a bad boyfriend, but he doesn't give nearly as much attention to me as I do to him. It makes me feel like I'm not appreciated. Plus, I'm not really active and don't go out a lot. So I have a LOT of free time to sit around and think about him.

 

How can I free myself of being the doormat?

 

If I weren't so whipped, do you think he would become more appreciative and attentive?

 

Is having an active life a really important thing that guys want in a girl?

 

(I think) I had this exact problem. I wouldn't call it being whipped. Just not being as busy as him and being a bit more dependant on him.

 

Maybe like in my case, your bf DOES care for you, but b/c you have so much free time there is no balance and in your free time you feel he doesn't care?

 

I suggest maybe keeping busy more. You'll be a lot more happier too I think. I got a job which helped.. ALOT. Now we're almost busy as much as each other. Before I used to sit around the house thinking about him or just watching tv and waiting to see him. Ugh. Not fun.

 

And aside from my job I've taken up spinning classes which I REALLY look forward to. I'm looking into aerobics dance classes. And after that we meet up which works out perfect. On days I don't go I sometimes find myself in old habits just waiting around thinking of him.

 

The key is to either find more friends, or find more ways to keep busy doing things you love and also look forward to. (I find making friends harder then taking up new hobbies..)

 

 

I brought it up that I felt un appreciated and we talked things out eventually, where he explained to me how he has alot of projects he needs to finish and I'd really need to understand. So now that I'm doing my own thing, he also seems more appreciative and looks forward to seeing me as much as I do look forward to seeing him.

I think he always was this way but I never saw it b/c I was too busy focussing on how much time I had for him and I was and expecting the same from him.

 

 

I don't think guys care if you have an active life, but in the end YOU benefit. Plus a guy WILL like it ALOT if he can do his own work/things without having to feel guilty about it, and knowing that your depending on him to finish so he can give you attention all the time.

Guys won't mind and like it if you have an active life, just as long as you have time for them too..

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Definitely go out and get your own life and interests. It is very important to have a balance between your own life and the relationship. By you doing too much for him you end up having higher expectations because you feel he should be returning it in equal amounts...but if you lowered the bar and didn't do as much because you have your own life as well, you might find that what you do for each other will actually balance out.

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