Is it wrong to...

[rgm1266]

I was dating someone for a while and we had our good times and bad times. It seems like the bad times outweighed the good times.

 

On top of the normal things in life, she was having money issues, family issues, health, needing to find a place to live, and depression issues. After w while it got to a point where I didn't want to be around her. I stopped staying over at her house like I use to do. I stopped being attracted to her. When she would call, I didn't want to take her call, talk to her, and cut back on our sex life. All the drama and negativity really got to me.

 

I have been feeling this way for a while, so today I broke up with her. She told me she knew it was coming. We talked about the whole situation and tried to see if things could change. We just couldn't agree. I really feel bad, but I was going crazy!! It was taking a toll on me.

 

Has anybody else been in a situation when you broke it off with someone who was down in their luck in life of just had some much drama that it was too much and you had to break up with them? I guess I feel guilty about breaking up with her cause of the situation she's in right now.

 

Thanks

[kindasad]

I've been in the reverse situation. When I was going through a lot of crap, with regard to my health and job and a major move, I was very stressed out and it got to my ex. Although, admittedly I might have taken some of it out on him. He broke up with me right after.

[istillluvu06]

I am in a reversal situation, We both had issues, but I wanted more from him emotionally I guess because I was going through horrible times. He was too. Thought we were partners. After 4 years being my best friend/fiance I really didnt think he would walk away from me especially knowing how he left me.

In my head and heart I always thought 2 people are there for eachother, true love doesnt "walk away' I was there and supported him in his problems and stress. I never felt I got the same.

It's hard all the way around.

[Maya_A]

I think you were "right" in following your heart & what was good for your emotional health. Yes, it's sad it ended up that way but these things happen as part of life.

 

On the flip side it might help her to see that she needs to work hard on her issues before becoming involved romantically. After some initial real grieving she might do, it may help motivate her to try to work all the more on sorting out her trying life's issues.

 

It's normal to feel sad when we know we may have unintentionally caused someone pain (or more pain in this case) but again, IMHO you only followed what was in your heart and this was the only fair thing to do for both yourself and her.

 

Take care

[crab62]

well heck that makes me feel alot better...

 

because the only issue I had is that I was tired because I was gearing up for a seaonal tax job and that I was cranky from time to time from my full-time job and my ex left me last week because he said he needed someone with a more "upbeat" personality.

 

Let's see... we have:

 

1) cycled over 2,000 miles this year on our bikes with local groups and taking a vacation to Montana-Canada... a one week vacation on our bikes with a tour group

2) run over 100's of miles in training and in races

3) planted a full garden at his house where the vegetables were overgrown because we nutured them too much and our pumpkins too over the entire yard

4) went to the healthclub at least 2x a week

5) spent every weekend doing something... either running, or biking, or horse back riding, or something...

 

but the fact that I had a bad day here or there meant that I was too depressing for him... and he wants someone with a more "upbeat" personality

 

sorry I'm rambling and ranting...

 

if you weren't happy, then you had a right to leave... you don't owe it to stay with anyone... unless of course it's your spouse.. and then you do owe it to stay and work it out...

 

but you weren't married... so go on your way and find the person you want....

 

just remember that noone's life is perfect... and things happen, and we all hit bad times at one time or another. i just hope you're not like my exboyfriend... if life wasn't happy happy happy he was out of there... i don't think that's reality.