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What is appropriate to bring to an engagement party?


lady00

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My friend is having one. We're not super-close, but we have been spending a lot of time together in a group setting (we were introduced through mutual friends). Anyway, I am not sure what is appropriate. Bottle of wine? Champagne? Or am I expected to bring a proper gift? Please advise. This is my first time attending one of these things. Oh, and it's at a restaurant during the afternoon, if that bit of info is useful. Thank you!

 

Sorry if this is in the wrong forum. I didn't know where to put it.

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No, it's not a wedding shower. I don't think they are being obnoxious or anything and I don't think they expect any gifts. But I just want to know what is a nice thing to do. I guess I should have phrased it differently LOL. I actually found stuff about it online and apparently this is a dying tradition or something. Most of the websites say that a gift is not expected but I am just curious what ENA people think before I make a decision.

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link removed

 

Above is an article about engagement party etiquette from the point of view of a bride.

 

Presents are optional, and are supposed to be off of the registry if people do bring anything, so I think you're off the hook.

 

To debaser and steve: engagement parties are pretty typical. Steve, I doubt she is trolling for presents.

 

I wouldn't bring anything, because this would mean she will invite you to the wedding, and I would just save my gift for the wedding.

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Oh. are they southern folk? A lot of them have traditions that the north has never heard of. Such as, the bride and grooms have separate cakes on their wedding day.

 

I think your best bet is to talk to others going to the party and see what is appropriate.

I wouldn't spend more than 30 bucks as they will most likely have a wedding shower and people usually buy things for that.

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Where are they registered? Just have a gift card and a congratulations letter or something in your purse. Its small and you can hide it, or not give it if no one else brings a present, LOL. I remember at my cousins, now wife, bridal shower well I don't really know her. I went to be polite to the shower because my aunt was throwing it, long story short, my sister and I just gave her a gift card to the same place they were registered. What ended up happening, in the next few days, they added gift cards to their registry list. Way I see it, its an engagement party, they are just celebrating the engagement, they are getting gifts at their wedding, so why is there a need to bring extra?

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Engagement parties around here are very popular and quite normal. Some are pretty extravagent, renting a hall and throwing a big party, etc.

 

My cousin just recently got engaged and my relatives threw her an engagement party. I don't understand the concept of that party as they don't live together, they aren't planning on getting married for another 4-5 years, and they are only in their late teens. Family was baffled as to what to get them for gifts, and resorted to restaurant gift cards, passes to the movies, long distance calling cards [they live 8 hours from each other..] as well as things like champagne toasting glasses for the wedding, a thing to cut their cake, and some small appliances, were gifts they received.

 

Personally, I wouldn't do more than a little thing that says "Congratulations.." like a bottle of wine.

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Engagement parties around here are very popular and quite normal. Some are pretty extravagent, renting a hall and throwing a big party, etc.

 

My cousin just recently got engaged and my relatives threw her an engagement party. I don't understand the concept of that party as they don't live together, they aren't planning on getting married for another 4-5 years, and they are only in their late teens. Family was baffled as to what to get them for gifts, and resorted to restaurant gift cards, passes to the movies, long distance calling cards [they live 8 hours from each other..] as well as things like champagne toasting glasses for the wedding, a thing to cut their cake, and some small appliances, were gifts they received.

 

Personally, I wouldn't do more than a little thing that says "Congratulations.." like a bottle of wine.

 

Late teens, I doubt they could of drank wine, legally. I think engagement parties are a tad unnecessary just because if you are putting enough or a lot into a wedding then why go for the added expense of a big engagement party? Or even a small one? I mean save it for the honeymoon! Or you maybe your cousin is just going to vegas soon LOL.

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Late teens, I doubt they could of drank wine, legally. I think engagement parties are a tad unnecessary just because if you are putting enough or a lot into a wedding then why go for the added expense of a big engagement party? Or even a small one? I mean save it for the honeymoon! Or you maybe your cousin is just going to vegas soon LOL.

 

 

Not everyone on this board is American!! Most places in the world its 16 or 18!

 

Wine would be a good gift!

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Not everyone on this board is American!! Most places in the world its 16 or 18!

 

Wine would be a good gift!

 

Oh I forgot about that. It seems to me that 16-18 giving wine seems so inappropriate! I don't know why. I think they should make a thing where in restaurants the wine drinking age is 19/20.

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Oh I forgot about that. It seems to me that 16-18 giving wine seems so inappropriate! I don't know why. I think they should make a thing where in restaurants the wine drinking age is 19/20.

 

 

even if the legal drinking age in the country is 16 or 18?!?!?!

 

People who grew up with the drinking age or 18 don't think its inappropriate.

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Late teens, I doubt they could of drank wine, legally. I think engagement parties are a tad unnecessary just because if you are putting enough or a lot into a wedding then why go for the added expense of a big engagement party? Or even a small one? I mean save it for the honeymoon! Or you maybe your cousin is just going to vegas soon LOL.

 

The legal age here is 19, they are legal to drink

 

I understand, its a celebration, a congratulations. They did it so that both sides of the families could get together and meet each other and all that. I've been simple little BBQ's, or at a restaurant, very casual, very fun. I'm not against them by any means, but I don't expect presents from them. Just best wishes from people.

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Oh I forgot about that. It seems to me that 16-18 giving wine seems so inappropriate! I don't know why. I think they should make a thing where in restaurants the wine drinking age is 19/20.

 

In Italian culture kids as young as 14 drink wine at weddings.

 

It's only inappropriate if you are used to the whole "its not legal until a certain age" hoop-lah that goes on over here in the States. Hell I got a ton of alcohol for my 16th birthday.

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I don't think a present is expected but is nice if you are close to the person. It doesn't seem like you are though.

 

I would stick to something under 20-30$ for sure. The bottle of wine sounds just perfect if you know she does drink alcohol/wine.

 

There are some people that do make these parties to fish for gifts (as in they will invite everyone but not invite them to the wedding)... and if you feel that is the case, then I would probably not give anything. It doesn't seem to be in the case by how you describe it though.

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