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When to Stop Talking?


exolis
Asking Someone to Call You in Engli...
Asking Someone to Call You in English || ESL Conversation Practice || ESL Advice

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Hi,

 

I've finally decided to approach this girl but the the only time I can do that is when we are waiting for the bus after work (she works near my area).

 

My plan is to just go to her and say "Hi" but what else should I talk to her about? The bus is very unpredictable, some days we could be waiting for 20 mins and some days 5 mins.

 

Do I try finding stuff to talk to her until the bus arrives? Or should I stop before that?

 

And when we get onto the bus, is it a good idea to sit next to her and continue the conversation?

 

Thanks for any advice!

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I have some good news and I have some bad news.

 

bad news first:

you're going to fail. 98% sure. the way you're writing this post makes it very obvious. The fact that you've "decided" to approach this girl tells me that you're probably not usually talking to people at the bus stop, mall, in the subway or where ever. you may be a social guy with your friends but if you're not comfortable with talking to strangers, this is going to be a uphill battle.

I've been there, I know what its like. I used to be terrified to talk to girls that I didn't know. The can smell that and some of them may find it kind of adorable but you won't be attractive to them.

 

The good news:

its not that difficult to learn how to get good at this.

once you feel comfortable in getting in to casual conversations with everybody this will be a piece of cake.

The way to learn is to take baby steps. Start chit chatting with people paid to be friendly first (waitress, cashier, bus driver..etc.), then start asking people for directions and keep talking after you got the directions, then start asking people on the street for opinions..etc.

 

as for what to say. be playful, don't jump in to interview questions mode. tell her she reminds you of one of the ninja turtles.. in a good way (will probably get a laugh) then go on about other silly stuff. if you're comfortable (way more important then what you actually say) then she will be to and you'll automatically keep talking on the bus.

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You're right. I need to practice more, actually I can be very sociable and friendly with total strangers but when it comes to this girl I'm having a crush on... it kinds of get difficult...

 

But you've given very good advice, the key is to get comfortable and just get into a natural conversation mode.

 

I'll work on it and will keep you guys updated on what eventually transpires

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Ok, i've waited at the bus stop after work for three days and didn't see her at all, maybe the boyfriend picked her up.

 

So now I plan to talk to her during lunch time but she's always with a group of colleagues.

 

Is it appropriate to approach her in a group? Or should I ask to step aside and talk to her?

 

Forgive me it these sound like silly questions........

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Ok, i've waited at the bus stop after work for three days and didn't see her at all, maybe the boyfriend picked her up.

 

So now I plan to talk to her during lunch time but she's always with a group of colleagues.

 

Is it appropriate to approach her in a group? Or should I ask to step aside and talk to her?

 

Forgive me it these sound like silly questions........

 

 

 

woah, woah...the BOYFRIEND? i don't think it's appropriate to start pursuing the girl if she has a boyfriend.

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  • 2 weeks later...
It's perfectly appropriate to approach her in a group. It's not weird at all - on the contrary! It shows that you're a confident, sociable guy - something most women find attractive.

 

Good luck!

 

yup, I second that

and even if there's this dude that she interacts with once in a while, he could be a friend. You'll never know for sure, unless he kisses her in public or you approach, talk and see where it goes. If she's got a boyfriend she's serious about, she'll let you know. Don't worry about that part.

 

Look, just chill out, have fun with it, see how far you can push your comfort zone. One thing I told a girl on the subway the other day was: "hey, how you doin? I tried to come up with an excuse to talk to you, but you know.. I just wanted to say hi. Hi."

Now its not WHAT I said, that made her smile, but HOW. The fact, that I had the confidence to be vulnerable, talked slowly, didn't fidget..etc.

 

Give it a try and let us know how it went.

 

Good luck,

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